Update: Chris Davis Still Not Blinking (And Still Amazing)

In late April, I explored Chris Davis’ ridiculous start to the season and what might have caused it. Nearly three months later, my hypothesis has been all but scientifically proven.

Chris Davis has yet to blink once this entire season.

He is too focused on breaking every possible non-Barry Bonds record ever set. Davis is currently second only to Miguel Cabrera in FanGraphs WAR at 4.8. He’s slugging .731. THAT IS RIDICULOUS. He has a commanding lead in the home run department at 32 on the year. To be nice, Chris Davis has yet to steal a base this year. He feels that would be unfair. Anyway, let’s just get to the overwhelming evidence.

Here is Chris Davis not blinking moments before getting slapped by a friendly teammate:

Here is Chris Davis not blinking while avoiding looking at Justin Morneau’s questionable moustache: 

morneau stache

Here is Chris Davis not blinking in between a bottle of Diet Dr. Pepper and Aquafina:

dr pepper poseChris Davis, MADE IN U.S.A.: 

made in usaHere is Chris Davis staring down a reporter asking about what it’s like being so awesome:

mlb com bossHere is shirtless Chris Davis not blinking because shirtless Chris Davis is shirtless: 

shirtlessHere is Chris Davis not blinking while giving attitude to Buster Olney:

olneyHere is Chris Davis not blinking while thinking about how great he is:

just the bestHere is Chris Davis not blinking while his inferior teammate can’t help but blink:

shaving cream blinkHere is Chris Davis not blinking, saluting the world  while covered in shaving cream:

walkoffHere is the only picture that matters for the rest of time:

Keep it up, Chris. We love you.

One comment to Update: Chris Davis Still Not Blinking (And Still Amazing)

  1. […] Significance: Chris Davis will break the Home Run record set by Barry Bonds in 2001. A record that some thought would live forever. Hopefully he continues not to blink. […]

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