The 2013 CFB Name All-Star Team

Before the season and before anyone really read our stuff, Jake and I did team-by-team previews for every team in baseball. They had very little analysis and a whole lot of #analysis. You can find them here. One of my favorite parts of these previews was Jake coming up with what we now refer to as CFB Names for every player in each projected starting lineup. I’ve got a few favorites from this absurd collection. These is my personal All-Star team solely based on these names. Warning: they’re REALLY stupid.

CATCHER: My Tweeters

FIRST BASE: Yawn Dora Lawn Zone

SECOND BASE: Triscuits

THIRD BASE: Mace Her It Hurts

SHORTSTOP: Ass Dribble Capybara

LEFT FIELD: Milky Cobra

CENTER FIELD: Allie Hand Row the Pasta

RIGHT FIELD: Enigma Cake Is

DESIGNATED HITTER: Evict Her Martini 

STARTING PITCHER: K. Buttholes

STARTING PITCHER: On the Balls Hand Cheese

STARTING PITCHER: Rich Porn Seller

STARTING PITCHER: Medicine Butt Gardener 

STARTING PITCHER: One Nietzsche Asshole

RELIEF PITCHER: Granite Barf Whore

RELIEF PITCHER: Rabbi L. Button Cord

CLOSER: Harold Is Champion

 

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