Over-analyzing Gerald Laird’s Chest

Yesterday Braves person Elliot Johnson tweeted a picture of two sets of abdominals. He asked Twitter to determine which midsection stood above the other. One set was impressively ripped and chiseled even though it belonged to the seemingly pudgy Dan Uggla. The other set was Gerald Laird. Laird is the backup catcher for the #BARVES and his midsection looks exactly like you think it would.

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This is a stereotypical back up catcher body. You have a protective layer of pudge surrounding everything to protect the innards from harm and baseballs. But beneath the pudge layer and before the innards layer, you find a layer of muscle. If you look closely you can see the lines of his six pac struggling to break free of the pudge layer, but sadly it never will. Gerald Laird has a fantastically strong core, but you’ll never be able to see that because the muscle is forever trapped beneath the layer of pudge.

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Episode 6: Raul From the Crapper

It’s the sixth Cespedes Family Barbecast and this one got pretty graphic. We talked to Wendy Thurm (@hangingsliders on the Tweeterz) about Barry Bonds, conflicting fanhoods and Raul Ibanez…but mostly just about Jew stuff. Our e-mails covered hot dog eating contests, baseball raps and obviously Big Poop. Baseball talk was all about the weird trades that went down. I can’t remember anything else and it’s almost 2 AM soooooooo here’s the Barbecast. Oh, and our music this week is only the greatest song of all time and you can find it by clicking here. Thanks for listening <3

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Ryan Braun To Sit Out Entire Jewish Holiday Season

Sandy Koufax and Hank Greenberg are famous for sitting out on Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the Jewish year. Brewers outfielder Ryan Braun is taking it one step further. Not only will Braun sit out on Yom Kippur, he will sit out both days of Rosh Hashanah, the first two days of Sukkot, Simchat Torah, and every single Shabbat until the season ends.

“I’ve had a hard year,” says Braun, who was wrapped up in Major League Baseball’s Biogenesis controversy. “I think that sitting out for the Jewish Holidays this year is the right thing to do.”

5773 has been a real tough year for Braun. He has lost the trust of his fans, his teammates, and most importantly, the Jewish community. He believes that by observing the Jewish holiday season he will be able to reconnect with his people.

“I haven’t been acting like myself this year. I’ve been nothing more than a schmuck; a real embarrassment to my fans, the Jewish people, and especially my Bubbie. I want to reconnect with my Jewish roots.”

Last year the Brewers were in the thick of the wild card race and Braun made the decision to play on Yom Kippur. A decision he says he regrets.

“PED’s weren’t the only mistake I made last year. Playing on Yom Kippur really got the year started off in a bad way. I hope to have a fresh start this fall.”

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