Episode 11: 25% Sexier

Kieran Lovegrove Losing His Shit

Just when you thought the Barbecast couldn’t get any more ridiculous, we had an actual professional baseball player on to talk about things that I don’t even want to say here because they are too good to spoil. It’s right-hander Kieran Lovegrove, the OFFICIAL MINOR LEAGUE PROSPECT OF CESPEDES FAMILY BARBECUE. We talked to him for an absurdly long time and then edited out most of it for obvious reasons. Oh, and of course Lana showed up again. Our extra long e-mail segment covered the Red Sox’ ability to consume alcohol, a ton of Yasiel Puig questions and another masterpiece from Big Poop. We actually talked about baseball for a good while, considering the playoffs are going on…but that quickly dissolved into a discussion about our favorite shirseys. Jake’s Varsity Baseball Update is somewhat depressing, as America’s Favorite ROOGY is still adjusting to life as a Pitcher Only. This week’s show ends with another edition of TALES FROM LOGDOG (Lana again; we can’t get rid of her). We had her watch “Chinese Food” for the first time and react to it in real time. It was intense. If you haven’t watched Chinese Food yet, please just go do that by clicking here. Chinese Food is also our musical guest because we love chow m-m-m-m-mein. This might be our best episode ever. We hope you enjoy <3

iTunes link (please rate and review): https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/cespedes-family-barbecue-cespedes/id683535357

Tweeterz: https://twitter.com/CespedesBBQ

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CespedesFamilyBBQ

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List of baseball porn star names: http://cespedesfamilybarbecue.com/2013/08/21/baseball-pornstar-names/

ALDS Game 5 Drinking Game

DISCLAIMER (mostly for our mothers): As many of you know, we are only 18 years old. So while everyone else can play this game with alcohol, we will OBVIOUSLY not be doing so. We’ll be enjoying our juice boxes. Thank you and drink responsibly. 

Tonight, the Oakland Athletics will be playing the Detroit Tigers in a game of baseball. The loser will be rewarded with a vacation while the winner will be punished and forced to fly to Boston. Here is your guide to making this game five one you’ll definitely forget:

You Drink When…

It goes without saying that you drink every time a #MUP is lit, but here are some other guidelines:

PREGAME SHOW

Drink any time…

  • Pedro Martinez makes you smile
  • Adam Jones winks
  • TBS screws up a graphic
  • There’s a replay of Josh Reddick vs. Fan

IN GAME

Drink when…

  • Justin Verlander goes behind 3-0
  • TOOTBLAN
  • Yoenis Cespedes walks
  • There’s an instance of BABIP Magic
  • Alex Avila looks bored
  • Jim Leyland has his hands in his pants
  • Jim Leyland smokes a cig
  • Miguel Cabrera looks like he’s in a lot of pain as he runs
  • Miggy smiles at the pitcher
  • The camera zooms in on Sonny Gray’s mustache
  • You complain about how terrible the TBS broadcast is

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#MUPWATCH: MUPDATE 1

If you are reading this you probably know what #MUPWATCH is. If you don’t you should get a Twitter account and then watch this video. Please also follow @jessespector and @amandarykoff for all your #MUPWATCH needs. 

As of 2:37 ET on Monday, October 7th, there have been 32 instances of baseball related #MUP lightings.

Of those 32 baseball-related #MUPS that were lit over the past week, 24 of those were lit in TBS promo ads. TBS’ #MUP lighting habits are absolutely deplorable and downright disturbing. Here’s a team by team breakdown:

Screen Shot 2013-10-07 at 3.24.52 PM

The Pirates lead the pack in lit #MUPS as their storybook season has taken a dangerous turn. Not far behind them are the St. Louis Cardinals. The Cardinals must change their ways before more #MUPS fall to the arson’s torch. The Braves and the Red Sox only have one #MUP lit apiece and have done a fantastic job of keeping #MUPS out of harm’s way. Scientists believe the Navy/Red color scheme might be keeping the #MUPS safe, but I personally think that the #MUP lighters, whomever they may be, tend to stay away from foam tomahawks and beards.

The remaining related baseball #MUPS are as follows:

  • A lit #MUP at PNC park. At least the #MUP’s last memory was in a nice place.
  • A #MUP reportedly lit at Dodger Stadium stuck in post game traffic.
  • A Fenway Park #MUP.
  • I heard a #MUP at Busch Stadium in St. Louis. I will never be the same.
  • A whopping four #MUPS were set ablaze on the Rays Radio Broadcast despite four separate orders from David Price to “SAVE IT NERDS.”
  • Three more unspecified #MUPS. May the families of these unclaimed #MUPS find peace in these troubling days.

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Our Fall TBS Show Ideas

The LDS on TBS have been somewhat of a disaster. The only thing worse than the production of the games are the shows advertised in between innings. We decided to put our money where our mouths are (which is gross if you think about it) and came up with our own baseball themed TBS show ideas. 

Cuban Mistletoe Crisis

Premise: Oh no! It’s almost Christmas, but Yoenis Cespedes and his countrymen Yasiel Puig, Jose Fernandez, Jose Dariel Abreu, and Jorge Soler don’t have any mistletoe to hang up at their Christmas dinner. 

Pitch: The rise of Cuban players has been one of the biggest stories in baseball this year. And everyone loves Christmas!

Mike Trout Highlights

Premise: Baseball Jesus just does things while we watch.

Pitch: Would instantly be the best show on television.

Spelling Xander Bogaerts

Screen Shot 2013-10-05 at 11.28.54 PM

Premise: The top 10 finishers in last year’s National Spelling Bee have to spell baseball’s unspellable names.

“Can you use that in a sentence?” 

“Sure. I went to the grocery store and was promptly robbed by a cross-faded Jarrod Saltalamacchia”

Pitch: Who doesn’t want to watch 10 Indian kids disappoint their parents while Adeiny Hechavarria and Matt Tuiasosopo laugh at them? 

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Episode 10: Mark Ferrin, Scott Spiezio and America’s ROOGY

Yeah, we showed some #want and cranked this out in a single afternoon. It’s a milestone episode so we got Mike/Mark/Montreal Ferrin of Fringe-Average and MLB Network radio fame. You can follow him @MikeFerrinSXM. We talked about Cuban baseballers, the playoffs, the mid-west, and The Godfather. No e-mails this week, except for one from Big Poop because duh. Baseball talk includes OUR SUPER EXCITING PLAYOFF PICKS. Jake’s Varsity Baseball Update is a big one; JAKE IS BECOMING A PITCHER. Tweet us your congratulations and condolences. TALES FROM LOGDOG is back for the second time with our good friend Lana Berry and we discussed this Miley Cyrus Hedgehog parody video and how she survived #DoLoThroDo. We concluded with a nice family friendly story about Scott Spiezio and Chad Bradford. Seriously. Thanks for listening <3

Dat facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/CespedesFamilyBBQ

TWEETERZ: https://twitter.com/CespedesBBQ

iTunes link (SUBSCRIBE AND RATE AND REVIEW): https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/cespedes-family-barbecue-cespedes/id683535357

Click here for the RSS feed

Our musical guest/intro music (besides Jake singing Wrecking Ball): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvkHIZg_954

MUPWATCH

For those of you that don’t know TBS has chosen the Fall Out Boy song “Light Em Up” to be the official song of whatever the hell. What we need you to do is hit us up with a #MUPWATCH whenever you hear the song on a broadcast. We want to tally how many #MUPS we see over the course of the playoffs.

#LIGHTAMUP