Los Angeles Angels Top 10 Shirseys

Click here to read a primer on our shirsey rankings. 
Click here to read the Angels BP Top 10 Prospects.

Vlad, Trevor Bell, and Fullmer write ups are courtesy of friend of CFB, Hudson Belinsky. You can follow him on the tweeterz by clicking HERE and read his superior Angels stuff over at Halos Daily

System Quote: “Hemmerling for Mitchell? Go back to Cincinnati!”

Los Angeles Angels Top Ten:

  1. Tie Dye Vlad
  2. Trevor Bell
  3. Brad Fullmer
  4. David Eckstein
  5. Mike Scioscia
  6. Chone Figgins
  7. Adam Kennedy
  8. Bobby Abreu
  9. Troy Glaus
  10. Maicer Izturis

Screen Shot 2013-11-04 at 4.08.16 PM  1. Tie Dye Vlad

  Size: XL

  Current Status: Available for purchase

  Website: eBay

  Price: $6.74 + $5.95 Shipping

  eBay Description: “Seller assumes all responsibility for this listing.”

 The Tools: 7 derp, 6 awesomeness, 4 player obscurity, 5 potential color scheme, 6 price

What Happened to the Player in 2013: After a career of swinging at every pitch he ever saw,Vlad The Impaler officially announced his retirement from baseball in 2013, but before hanging up the cleats, he did cause some excitement for fans of the Atlantic League’s Long Island Ducks. Guerrero signed a contract with the Ducks in early April, but never did join the team, citing family issues. Vlad’s nephew Gaby played his first full season of minor league baseball, ranking 10th in Baseball Prospectus’s rankings of the Mariners’ system. One extremely handsome human being captured Gaby hitting a walk-off infield single against the Angels’ Low-A affiliate back in June.

Strengths: This is a shirsey that brings you a Hall-of-Fame caliber talent, but stands out from the typical Mantle or Ruth shirsey because it’s tie-dye. The shirsey allows its wearer a unique ability to showcase the mid-section, and if the wearer’s eyes are blue, or red, they are really going to pop.

Weaknesses: Only Deadheads wear tie-dye.

Overall Future Potential: 6; should appear in multiple shirsey All-Star games.

Realistic Role: 5; the shirt’s condition is “New without tags,” which leads to question marks about the shirt’s identity. Dominican shirseys are known to alter their ages and identities to command higher bids on eBay.

Risk Factor/Injury History: Moderate; the lack of tags raises red flags, but there are no clear deficiencies with the physical product.

The Year Ahead: As Vlad waits for Hall-of-Fame eligibility, so too will this shirsey. It’s unclear whether this shirsey will attempt a coaching career, or if it will opt to spent more time with its family.

Wardrobe ETA: 2014; with the Angels’ lack of shirsational depth, this one has a chance to contribute immediately.

Screen Shot 2013-11-04 at 4.13.41 PM2. Trevor Bell

  Size: XL

  Current Status: Available for purchase

  Website: Google

  Price: N/A

  Description: “Let everyone know who your favorite player is with this Trevor Bell Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Red Player Shirt

 The Tools: 5 derp, 4 awesomeness, 8 player obscurity, 6 potential color scheme/design, undetermined price

What Happened to the Player in 2013: Bell pitched in relief in Double- and Triple-A for the Reds. He is now a minor league free agent.

Strengths: Totally abstract. There’s no reason for anyone besides hardcore Angels fans or the six or seven people who closely follow prospects to know who Trevor Bell is. He also wore no. 70 with the Angels, a rare, high number.

Weaknesses: Totally abstract. There’s no reason for anyone besides hardcore Angels fans or the six or seven people who closely follow prospects to know who Trevor Bell is. He also wore no. 70 with the Angels, a rare, high number.

Overall Future Potential: High 5; should be a solid contributor to a first-division shirsey collection.

Realistic Role: 5; high-floor.

Risk Factor/Injury History: Low risk; if you’re the kind of person who owns a Trevor Bell shirsey, you probably don’t care too much about people recognizing the name on the back.

The Year Ahead: Bell will attempt to latch onto a Major League bullpen, but the chances are slim. Similarly, this shirsey is unlikely to find its way into a shirsey collection, although there is a chance.

Wardrobe ETA: 2015

Screen Shot 2013-11-04 at 4.13.34 PM3. Brad Fullmer

  Size: XL

  Current Status: Available for purchase

  Website: eBay

  Price: $5.99 + $5.05 Shipping


 The Tools: 7 derp, 6 awesomeness, 6+ player obscurity, 6 future design/color scheme, 6 price

What Happened to the Player in 2013: A person named Brad Fullmer is an IT developer who appeared on Episode 160 of a podcast called The Secular Buddhist. Brad comes from a computer science background and has been doing computer programming “for, God, 20+ years now.” No people named Brad Fullmer have appeared in professional baseball since 2004.

Strengths: This is an extremely rare piece. A great shirsey for sleeping or being the clean t-shirt you wear when doing your laundry.

Weaknesses: Only 44 people remember that Brad Fullmer existed.

Overall Future Potential: 5; not much utility.

Realistic Role: High 4; comes off the bench for a first-division shirsey collection, starts for a second-division shirsey collection.

Risk Factor/Injury History: It’s an XL, so small children could trip and injure themselves if they attempt to wear this shirsey.

The Year Ahead: I’m seriously considering buying this shirsey. I would love to see a bidding war over it to really excite the seller, then disappoint him and not pay for it. It’d be worth the negative eBay feedback; he describes the shirsey like this: “BRAD FULLMER ANGELES T SHIRT THAT LOOKS LIKE A JERSEY”

Wardrobe ETA: 2014

Screen Shot 2013-11-04 at 4.17.10 PM4. David Eckstein

  Size: XL 

  Current Status: Available for purchase

  Website: eBay

  Price: $12.99 + $11.25

eBay Description: “No rips, no tears, no holes and. Very clean.”

 The Tools: 5 derp, 6 awesomeness, 5 player obscurity, 5 future design/color scheme, 4 price

What Happened to the Player in 2013: Officially, Eckstein spent all of 2013 out of baseball, even though everyone knows he’s the actual commissioner. He also was a big part of what is possibly the greatest video ever. There are rumors that Eck might join the Angels coaching staff for the 2014 season.

Strengths: Despite below average tools, scrappiness of the shirt helps it play a grade up. Not only is the jersey scrappy, but your friends will ooh and aah at your sartorial grit . Your shirt will make everyone all nostalgic about the golden days of yesteryear when the golden Eck roamed free across the fine-cut diamonds of America.

Weaknesses: The concept of an XL David Eckstein shirsey is extremely counterintuitive and may confuse those around you. It’s very important to remember to use your scrappiness in the correct situations. Probably not the best shirt to wear on a date, to a funeral, etc. Actually scratch that; funerals are fine.

Overall Future Potential: High 5; not a lot of room for improvement

Realistic Role: Low 5; high floor, established shirt.

Risk Factor/Injury History: Low; David Eckstein doesn’t get injured.

The Year Ahead: If David Eckstein becomes a coach, he’ll become the greatest coach ever.

Wardrobe ETA: 20SCRAPPY

Screen Shot 2013-11-04 at 4.17.31 PM5. Mike Scioscia

  Size: L/XL

  Current Status: Available for purchase

  Website: eBay

  Price: $21.56 + $5.95 Shipping


 The Tools: 6+ derp, 5 awesomeness, 5 player obscurity, 5 future design/color scheme, 4 price

What Happened to the Player in 2013: Mike Scioscia has been on the wobbly chair for the last couple of years and this year was no different. His team yet again fell short of expectations and he was often criticized for being part of the problem. Despite all his struggles in the dugout, I’ve heard his marriage is going great.

Strengths: Not an awesome shirsey, but one that will make people laugh. “Mike Scioscia” they’ll say. “Why do you have that?” If you want to be the life of a terrible, terrible party, this is the shirsey for you. Versatility in size; L and XL.

Weaknesses: Sponsorship on back always brings value down. Price is way too high for a shirsey of this caliber. Price might make all the other tools play down a grade. Versatility in size also means they printed way too many of these, which makes you think about the shirsey’s potential makeup.

Overall Future Potential: 5; back of the rotation shirt

Realistic Role:  4; sits in your closet until you take it out only because you need a shirt to get really messy in.

Risk Factor/Injury History: Medium; Scioscia could snap at any time.

The Year Ahead: If Scioscia gets canned, which he might, the shirsey value could rise in a couple years once Scioscia’s name is worthy of a rib tickle.

Wardrobe ETA: 2017

6. Chone Figgins

Screen Shot 2013-11-04 at 4.19.10 PM

7. Adam Kennedy

Screen Shot 2013-11-04 at 4.18.33 PM

8. Bobby Abreu

Screen Shot 2013-11-04 at 4.18.40 PM

9. Troy Glaus

Screen Shot 2013-11-04 at 4.18.57 PM

10. Maicer Izturis

Screen Shot 2013-11-04 at 4.19.03 PM

System Overview:

The collective ceilings of this shirsey system are FAR AND AWAY more impressive than those of the actual Top 10 Angels prospects. Thanks to Hall of Fame talents like Tie-Dye Vlad, the Angels should have a shirsey anchor for years to come. Brad Fullmer might not have the highest ceiling, but you have to consider that the number of people who remember Brad Fullmer undeniably decreases every year, giving it the chance to play up much higher than currently anticipated. I’ve already forgotten who Brad Fullmer was since I started writing this paragraph, so there’s that. High-end derpy reliever shirseys are always something you want in your organization and Trevor Bell provides just that. These talents along with former All-Star depth with guys like Bobby Abreu and oh my god there’s Chone Figgins again,  result in a middle-of-the-pack shirsey system that The The Angels Angels can be moderately proud of.

(e-mail us any shirseys you own or have found online at cespedesfb@gmail.com)

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