Episode 31: Minor League Friends, Major League People

Hello and welcome to BARBECAST 31 featuring 3.1 special guests. This is definitely a much better show than last week because Jake is actually awake for 90% of it! And yes, it’s also a long one. Our THREE special guests this week, in order, are…

Dan Amodio, Baseball Operations and Facility Development Manager at THE AUSTRALIAN BASEBALL LEAGUE. We talked to him about what it was like having Major League Baseball down under. He was in a coffee shop. We apologize for the background noise.

Matt Ball, former Barbecast guest and right-handed pitching prospect for the Chicago White Sox. Matt gave some insight on what minor league camp in Arizona is like, talks about his year ahead, and shares a SPECTACULAR Alexei Ramirez story.

Matt Clark, former Barbecast guest, and first base prospect for the New York Mess. We talked to him about being in MAJOR LEAGUE SPRING TRAINING. Particularly, on the same team as Bartolo Colon. Matt is funny and we like Matt. Both Matts. Maybe even all Matts. Even Matt Stairs.

LANA BERRY. Just a plain ol’ Tales from Logdog for the 20 something-th week in a row. Yeah. We talked about all the Rangers dying and who the hell Nick Martinez is.

Our b-ref battle was solid, and our e-mail segment was brief but entertaining. Jake’s Varsity Baseball Update was sobering to say the least. Barbecast 31! Thanks for listening <3

And yeah, our “musical guest” is beer commercials.

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2014 CFBBQ Season Previews: San Francisco Giants

Giant Eyes

giants_withnames

Off-season Haiku:

Hudson and Zito

reunited near the Bay.

Panda lost some pounds.

Best Names in the Farm System:

  • SS Ydwin Villegas
  • SS Kelby Tomlinson
  • SS Travious Relaford
  • 2B Rando Moreno
  • LHP Keurin Feliz
  • SS John Polonius
  • OF Shilo McCall
  • RHP Renzo Freite
  • OF Joneshwy Fargas
  • LHP Dainer Revolledo
  • C Kleiber Rivas
  • 1B Royel Astacio
  • SS Hengerber Medina
  • LHP Andrew Leenhouts
  • RHP Kendry Melo
  • C Eugene Escalante
  • LHP Deiyerbert Bolivar
  • RHP Eber Guzman
  • LHP Prebito Reyes
  • RHP Weilly Yan
  • C Mecky Coronado
  • C Alilzon Rodriguez

FIVE BOLD PREDICTIONS:

  • The next time the spaceship returns to McCovey Cove, Hunter Pence will remember to leave with it. He will be missed.
  • After only a few weeks of painfully unpleasant outfield defense, the Giants will tell Michael Morse to “not even bother” going out to left field.
  • In his final attempt to not play Brandon Belt every day, Bruce Bochy will platoon the Baby Giraffe with none other than diminutive slugger and crime-fighter, Batkid, who will have signed a minor league deal with the Giants in early May.
  • With the goal of regaining his Cy Young status, Tim Lincecum will legally change his name to Big-Time Timmy-Jim. Timmy-Jim shirseys will become hugely popular.
  • The Giants will hire Barry Lamar Bonds to be their hitting coach. It will be awesome. However, the only player whose performance will noticeably tick up will be Tyler Colvin. Tyler Colvin is going to become Barry Bonds 2.0. Tyler Eugene Colvin, #blessed by the greatest hitter of all time.

2014 CFBBQ Season Previews: Pittsburgh Pirates

Pirate Eyes

pirates_withnames

Off-season Haiku:

Uh wait, what happened?

A.J. was supposed to stay :(

Still got Barmes though.

Best Names in the Farm System:

  • C Ralph Henriquez
  • 3B D.J. Crumlich
  • SS Gift Ngoepe
  • 3B Ashley Ponce
  • RHP Jhondaniel Medina
  • RHP Bryton Trepagnier
  • C Kawika Emsley-Pai
  • RHP Dovydas Neverauskas
  • RHP Oderman Rocha
  • C Jin-De Jhang
  • OF Candon Myles
  • RHP Jherson Esqueda
  • RHP Arquimedes Lorenzo
  • OF Yunior Aquiles
  • OF Tito Polo
  • LHP Luylli Miranda
  • SS Bealyn Chourio
  • 2B Ulises Montilla
  • SS Trae Arbet
  • OF Enyel Vallejo
  • RHP Adderly Ceballo
  • C Mikell Granberry
  • OF Jeremias Portorreal
  • OF Sandy Santos

FIVE BOLD PREDICTIONS:

  • Jason Grilli will enjoy another stellar season as the Bucs closer. For their May 5th game against the Giants, the first 5,000 fans under the age of 99 will receive a free grilled cheese sandwich.
  • Jeff Locke will not make the All-Star team.
  • Sometime in the middle of the season, Wandy Rodriguez will reveal that his name is actually Wandys.
  • In the midst of another successful season of Pirates baseball, Baseball Jesus will descend from the heavens and tell Clint Hurdle that the Pirates must revert to being a terrible baseball team; the sacred balance of the baseball universe is at risk with Pittsburgh actually being good.
  • Due to the immense amount of pressure from fans with a super lame sense of humor, the Pirates will finally give in and acquire David Aardsma.

 

2014 CFBBQ Season Previews: New York Mets

Met Eyes

mets_withnames Off-season Haiku:

Curtis Granderson.

Dingers? Sure.BUT OH MY GOD,

BARTOLO LIVES ON.

Best Names in the Farm System:

  • LHP Jack Leathersich
  • RHP Hansel Robles
  • LHP Mark Cohoon
  • RHP Noah Syndergaard
  • C Xorge Carrillo
  • OF Joe Bonfe
  • OF Travis Taijeron
  • RHP Rainy Lara
  • SS Dimas Ponce
  • RHP Dawrin Frias
  • SS Ismael Tijerina
  • RHP Rolgenis Blanco
  • RHP Yrelvis Castillo
  • RHP Gregorix Estevez
  • RHP Randinson Suazo
  • RHP Marbin Montijo
  • 2B Rigoberto Terrazas
  • OF Ysidro Pierre
  • RHP Scarlyn Reyes
  • RHP Nabil Crismatt
  • RHP Bladimil Vallejo
  • OF Hengelbert Rojas
  • RHP Gaither Bumgardner
  • RHP Jhonaiker Rodriguez
  • RHP Wuender Fernandez
  • RHP Wimbert Martinez
  • OF Junior Carrion
  • SS Yeffry De Aza
  • RHP Yoryi Nuez
  • C Luis Arrizurieta
  • OF Wuilmer Becerra
  • 3B Yeixon Ruiz
  • RHP Edioglis Villasmil
  • OF Champ Stuart

FIVE BOLD PREDICTIONS:

  • Ike Davis and Lucas Duda will continue to struggle and or be hurt. This will lead to Josh Satin and his glorious eyebrows taking over the first base job. He will mash for a few weeks leading Mets fans to pack Citi Field with huge “Hail Satin” signs.
  • After a few years of injuries, Travis d’Arnaud will f’Inally have the b’Reakout s’Eason we’ve all been waiting for. He might even win the b’Atting title.
  • The Mets will grow tired of people doubting Juan Lagares’ defensive ability in center field. In a strange attempt to prove Lagares’ immense range, during their July series against the Marlins, they will flank Lagares with Lucas Duda in right and Bartolo Colon in left. 
  • Throughout the season, teams will begin experimenting with what they can get away with defensively when Bartolo Colon is up to bat. Late in the year, when both teams are long out of playoff contention, the Phillies will field a defense against Bartolo that will include Darin Ruf playing left field. How ridiculous!
  • Jeurys Familia will ask New Yorkers about Jeurys Familia.

2014 CFBBQ Season Previews: Minnesota Twins

Twin Eyes

twins_withnames

Off-season Haiku:

More boring pitchers.

Are you surprised? Well, don’t be.

Buxton is coming.

Best Names in the Farm System:

  • OF Jeremias Pineda
  • C Bo Altobelli
  • RHP Wilfredy Liranzo
  • RHP C.K. Irby
  • LHP Hein Robb
  • OF Dubal Baez
  • LHP Reyson Zoquiel
  • 3B Amaurys Minier
  • OF Ivory Thomas
  • SS Engelb Vielma
  • RHP Leonel Zazueta
  • RHP Robener Cabrera
  • RHP Onesimo Hernandez
  • LHP Jadison Jimenez
  • C Rainis Silva
  • DH Jet Hernandez

FIVE BOLD PREDICTIONS:

  • On May 17th, the Twins will beat the Mariners in 24 innings in the single craziest game of the year. Pedro Florimon will come in to pitch in the 19th inning and pitch six shutout innings to earn the win. Florimon will be da winna mon.
  • After years of discussing the possibility of moving, Joe Mauer will literally move to first base. He will build a nice condo down the right field foul line. He will sell his house behind home plate to Kurt Suzuki. It will be a pleasant and professional transaction.
  • In his fourth start of the year, right-hander Kyle Gibson will hit 97 MPH on the radar gun. He will be released the next day.
  • Sometime during the first week of the season, Ron Gardenhire will call for Caleb Thielbar to come in and relieve Phil Hughes. It will be at this point when everyone realizes Caleb Thielbar is not a real person. #ThatAwkwardMomentWhenYouCallForAnImaginaryReliefPitcher
  • Brian Dozier will probably not do this again.

2014 CFBBQ Season Previews: Texas Rangers

Wrangler Eyes

rangers_withnames

Off-season Haiku:

Got rid of Kinsler

for Prince and his huge contract.

Shin-Soo Choo puns suck.

Best Names in the Farm System:  

  • RHP Arlett Mavare
  • C Tomas Telis
  • 2B Rougned Odor
  • OF Kalian Sams
  • LHP Ryne Slack
  • RHP Keone Kela
  • RHP Easton Napiontek
  • SS Smerling Lantigua
  • LHP Gionny Fracchiolla
  • LHP Nerfy Nunez
  • RHP Richelson Pena
  • 1B Crisford Adames
  • 2B Isaiah Kiner-Falefa
  • RHP Greidy Martinez
  • C Yohel Pozo
  • SS Yimmelvyn Alonzo
  • SS Andretty Cordero
  • 3B Porfirio Martinez
  • SS Juremi Profar (yes, Jurickson’s brother)
  • SS Yeyson Yrizarri
  • OF Sherman Lacrus

FIVE BOLD PREDICTIONS:

  • Newly acquired catcher J.P. Arencibia will forget how to walk entirely. He will be put on the 60-day DL with “does not know how to walk anymore”. It is difficult to play baseball when you cannot walk, let alone run. Poor J.P. Arencibia.
  • Michael Choice will be booed during every home at-bat. No one in Texas is pro-Choice.
  • This is the year Adrian Beltre’s head will be touched one too many times. He will eat the unlucky teammate that takes it to far. Yes, eat. He will eat them.
  • Yu Darvish’s already ridiculous repertoire of pitches will take another step forward as he will learn how to throw the Backyard Baseball masterpieces such as the Big Freeze and the Elevator.
  • Ian Kinsler will turn out to be some sort of sorcerer, and the Rangers actually go 0-162.

Episode 30: Barry Bonds, Spider-Man Enthusiast

bonds spector

Barbecast 30 has finally arrived. It’s been two weeks since our last podcast, and one week since we recorded our interview with special guest, National Baseball Writer for Sporting News,  Jesse Spector. Nevertheless, this mess of an episode is here for you to hopefully enjoy. Please excuse Jake’s immense #slack and #sickness; as far as Lana and I know, he wasn’t on anything, but rather very tired and somewhat ill. Anyway, we talked to Jesse about his spring training adventures and he shared his one personal experience with Barry Bonds. I came well prepared for the b-ref battle this week, but we both had some gems. Tales from Logdog with Lana, was actually one of our best Logdog segments in a while. We talked about how #Nelly1057 impacted us on all levels. If you don’t know what #Nelly1057 was, you will definitely know by the end of this episode. Our e-mail segment was decent; we got lucky and received a last minute e-mail from OBP and Napoleon was wonderful as always. Thanks for listening <3

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2014 CFBBQ Season Previews: Toronto Blue Jays

Canada Eyes

bluejays_withnames

Off-season Haiku:

They’ll sign Ervin, right?

Maybe Garza?  Tanaka?

Nope, just Dioner.

Best Names in the Farm System:

  • RHP Austin Bibens-Dirkx
  • 3B Jason Leblebijian
  • SS Dickie Thon Jr.
  • OF Chaz Frank
  • LHP Francisco Gracesqui
  • RHP Phil Kish
  • 1B Lydell Moseby
  • 1B Rowdy Tellez
  • LHP Juliandry Higuera
  • RHP Hamly Suero
  • RHP Luis Zerpa
  • 2B Deiferson Barreto
  • 3B Ronniel Demorizi
  • LHP Wilfri Aleton
  • RHP Kamakani Usui
  • SS Yeltsin Gudino
  • RHP Cale Wine
  • OF Boomer Collins

FIVE BOLD PREDICTIONS:

  • After spending all off-season following thousands of strangers on Twitter, Jose Bautista will follow someone into a dark alley in Toronto…where he will be met by a friendly Canadian offering him directions back to Rogers Centre. Aren’t Canadians just the nicest?
  • R.A. Dickey will expand his knuckleball repertoire by experimenting with a phalangeball and a metacarpalball.
  • Brett Lawrie will hold a charity beer pong tournament to raise money for MORE RED BULL.
  • Mark Buehrle has thrown 200+ innings in 13 consecutive seasons. This level of consistency bores him. This year, he will throw 2,000 innings.
  • The Blue Jays will suffer another year of injuries and despair. By August, super-utility man Maicer Izturis will have played every position, started, relieved, closed, and served as the team mascot for the Jays.

2014 CFBBQ Season Previews: Los Angeles Dodgers

Doyer Eyes

dodgers_withnames

Off-season Haiku:

Tried for Tanaka,

extended Kershaw instead,

then signed more Cubans.

Best Names in the Farm System:

  • RHP Red Patterson
  • OF Jeremy Hazelbaker
  • C Griff Erickson
  • C Dashenko Ricardo
  • 1B Angelo Songco
  • RHP Jharel Cotton
  • LHP Daniel Coulombe
  • C John Cannon
  • C Pratt Maynard
  • 1B O’Koyea Dickson
  • OF Casio Grider
  • RHP Zach Bird
  • RHP Ralston Cash
  • OF Devin Shines
  • RHP Danny Danielson
  • RHP Lenix Osuna
  • RHP Abdiel Velasquez
  • 3B Bladimir Franco
  • 2B Tyger Pederson
  • OF  Faustino Oguisten
  • C Luis Paz
  • SS Bernys Almarante
  • 2B Jorlin Chales
  • LHP Roberth Fernandez
  • RHP Omarlin Franco
  • RHP Osiris Ramirez
  • DH Arce Rodriguez
  • OF Ibandel Isabel
  • OF Rutinel Sosa
  • 1B Justin Chigbogu
  • C Hendrik Clementina
  • C Gersel Pitre
  • DH Yensys Capellan

FIVE BOLD PREDICTIONS:

  •  The entire population of Australia will show up to Zack Greinke’s first start of the season at Dodger Stadium and heckle him like no other country could.
  • Yasiel Puig will do a bat flip after a sacrifice bunt.
  • MLB.tv subscribers across the nation will be filled with joy and awe, as Vin Scully tells the story of the time he played table tennis with Erisbel Arruebarrena’s great uncle.
  • On June 7th, Paul Maholm, Chris Perez, Brandon League, Brian Wilson, and Kenley Jansen will combine for a no-hitter in Coors Field against a Rockies lineup anchored by Larry Walker, who will have returned to the big leagues in an attempt to re-establish his Hall of Fame credentials.
  • 17-year-old uber-prospect Julio Urias is called up in June after proving that he can responsibly handle a motor vehicle and obey all traffic laws.

2014 CFBBQ Season Previews: Chicago Cubs

Cube Eyes (plus Javier Baez)

cubs_withnames

Off-season Haiku:

Low-risk, high reward?

Yeah, okay, Jason Hammel.

Where is Tanaka?

Best Names in the Farm System:

  • RHP Trey McNutt
  • C Chadd Krist
  • C Yaniel Cabezas
  • OF Zeke DeVoss
  • OF Bijan Rademacher
  • 2B Gioskar Amaya
  • SS Guiseppe Papaccio
  • DH Rock Shoulders
  • OF Reggie Golden
  • RHP Jasvir Rakkar
  • C Cael Brockmeyer
  • OF Yasiel Balaguert
  • OF Charcer Burks
  • SS Varonex Cuevas
  • 1B Roney Alcala
  • OF Jenner Emeterio
  • RHP Adbert Alzolay
  • RHP Harrinson Bermudez
  • RHP Greyfer Eregua
  • LHP Yapson Gomez
  • RHP Brohiglyn Rivero
  • OF Shamil Ubiera
  • SS Frandy Delarosa
  • RHP Enderson Mercedes
  • 3B Wladimir Galindo
  • SS Gleyber Torres

FIVE BOLD PREDICTIONS:

  • Clark the Cub starts the season in center field before being suspended for  being PED (Particularly Extremely Disturbing)
  • Instead of calling up Javier Baez to play shortstop, the Cubs will use his immense bat speed as a new form of energy to power all of Starlin Castro’s favorite electronic devices.
  • Anthony Rizzo will call for a press conference to formally announce he has Sinistrophobia. Everyone will be like, “duh”.
  • After months of intense negotiations, the Cubes will sign Welington Castillo to a team-friendly contract extension. They will convince him by giving him a full no-trade clause and the letter L that’s been missing from his first name for all these years.
  • Darwin Barney will crush DiMaggio’s record and hit safely in 74 consecutive games from June to August. 98% of his hits will be infield singles.