2014 CFBBQ Season Previews: Minnesota Twins

Twin Eyes

twins_withnames

Off-season Haiku:

More boring pitchers.

Are you surprised? Well, don’t be.

Buxton is coming.

Best Names in the Farm System:

  • OF Jeremias Pineda
  • C Bo Altobelli
  • RHP Wilfredy Liranzo
  • RHP C.K. Irby
  • LHP Hein Robb
  • OF Dubal Baez
  • LHP Reyson Zoquiel
  • 3B Amaurys Minier
  • OF Ivory Thomas
  • SS Engelb Vielma
  • RHP Leonel Zazueta
  • RHP Robener Cabrera
  • RHP Onesimo Hernandez
  • LHP Jadison Jimenez
  • C Rainis Silva
  • DH Jet Hernandez

FIVE BOLD PREDICTIONS:

  • On May 17th, the Twins will beat the Mariners in 24 innings in the single craziest game of the year. Pedro Florimon will come in to pitch in the 19th inning and pitch six shutout innings to earn the win. Florimon will be da winna mon.
  • After years of discussing the possibility of moving, Joe Mauer will literally move to first base. He will build a nice condo down the right field foul line. He will sell his house behind home plate to Kurt Suzuki. It will be a pleasant and professional transaction.
  • In his fourth start of the year, right-hander Kyle Gibson will hit 97 MPH on the radar gun. He will be released the next day.
  • Sometime during the first week of the season, Ron Gardenhire will call for Caleb Thielbar to come in and relieve Phil Hughes. It will be at this point when everyone realizes Caleb Thielbar is not a real person. #ThatAwkwardMomentWhenYouCallForAnImaginaryReliefPitcher
  • Brian Dozier will probably not do this again.

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