2014 CFBBQ Season Previews: San Francisco Giants

Giant Eyes

giants_withnames

Off-season Haiku:

Hudson and Zito

reunited near the Bay.

Panda lost some pounds.

Best Names in the Farm System:

  • SS Ydwin Villegas
  • SS Kelby Tomlinson
  • SS Travious Relaford
  • 2B Rando Moreno
  • LHP Keurin Feliz
  • SS John Polonius
  • OF Shilo McCall
  • RHP Renzo Freite
  • OF Joneshwy Fargas
  • LHP Dainer Revolledo
  • C Kleiber Rivas
  • 1B Royel Astacio
  • SS Hengerber Medina
  • LHP Andrew Leenhouts
  • RHP Kendry Melo
  • C Eugene Escalante
  • LHP Deiyerbert Bolivar
  • RHP Eber Guzman
  • LHP Prebito Reyes
  • RHP Weilly Yan
  • C Mecky Coronado
  • C Alilzon Rodriguez

FIVE BOLD PREDICTIONS:

  • The next time the spaceship returns to McCovey Cove, Hunter Pence will remember to leave with it. He will be missed.
  • After only a few weeks of painfully unpleasant outfield defense, the Giants will tell Michael Morse to “not even bother” going out to left field.
  • In his final attempt to not play Brandon Belt every day, Bruce Bochy will platoon the Baby Giraffe with none other than diminutive slugger and crime-fighter, Batkid, who will have signed a minor league deal with the Giants in early May.
  • With the goal of regaining his Cy Young status, Tim Lincecum will legally change his name to Big-Time Timmy-Jim. Timmy-Jim shirseys will become hugely popular.
  • The Giants will hire Barry Lamar Bonds to be their hitting coach. It will be awesome. However, the only player whose performance will noticeably tick up will be Tyler Colvin. Tyler Colvin is going to become Barry Bonds 2.0. Tyler Eugene Colvin, #blessed by the greatest hitter of all time.

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