2014 CFBBQ Season Previews: New York Yankees

Yankee Eyes

yankees_withnames

Off-season Haiku:

Oh yeah, the Yankees.

They still have all the money.

But not for Cano!

Best Names in the Farm System:

  • LHP Rigoberto Arrebato
  • OF Mikeson Oliberto
  • SS Cito Culver
  • RHP Rookie Davis
  • 2B Angelo Gumbs
  • OF Jake Cave
  • OF Danny Oh
  • RHP Cale Coshow
  • OF Greidy Encarnacion
  • OF Barfil Munoz
  • RHP Ysrael Abreu
  • RHP Freddery Arias
  • RHP Raudy Guzman
  • 1B Renzo Martini
  • C Roybell Herrera
  • SS Yancarlos Baez
  • C Radley Haddad
  • SS Abiatal Avelino
  • 2B Derek Toadvine
  • OF Yeicok Calderon

FIVE BOLD PREDICTIONS:

  • The Cubs’ farewell gift for Derek Jeter will be Darwin Barney. For the rest of his life, Jeets will always have a handy little second baseman to ground out to whenever he likes.
  • During the All-Star Break, the Yankees will lose to their alternate-reality counterpart, the New York Bankees, in an intense exhibition game.
  • Jacoby Ellsbury will embrace his new home in New York and become a stock trader. Bitter Red Sox fans on Twitter won’t look quite as stupid anymore. #TRADER
  • Michael Pineda will win the American League Cy Young Award. Soon after, Brian Cashman will text Jack Zduriencik “lol”.
  • In the middle of the 5th inning during the June 17th game against Toronto, a little boy named Jose will be running back to his seat at Yankee Stadium with cotton candy that he will have just bought with his parents’ money. He will look ecstatic. He will be so happy. He loves cotton candy. Brian McCann won’t have ANY of that. He will call for time, run into the seats, take that cotton candy away from the innocent child and scream “RESPECT THE GAME”.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>