Bat Flip Kings

Bat flips are an ancient form of artistic expression. Since the beginning of time, some of history’s greatest figures have partaken in the flipping of bats. Max Keeble, Joan of Arc, and Seth McClung are all heroes of history for the contributions they made to the wood-twirling, dinger-pimping community.

We here at CFBBQ absolutely adore a good bat flip. There are a number of fantastic batflippers in the bigs right now and batflipping is as widespread and as appreciated as it has ever been. That being said, we believe that there is still so much room for creativity when it comes to the flipping of bats. In order to show the world just how batpoop crazy batflipping can be, we decided to take the bat into our own hands and then flip it… or something like that.

THE BETWEEN THE LEGS


Legs are awesome things because you can move them around and use them to your advantage. In this particular instance, I opened my legs quite wide and flipped a bat through them. Unfortunately, this bat flip is for practice time only. If used in a game situation you might end up decapitating the catcher and/or umpire located behind you.

THE SOARING EAGLE

Snowboarding on TV has something really cool that lets you see how high the snowboarder is getting when he flies into the air off the half pipe. We need the exact same thing for bat flips. I need a bat flip barometer to tell me just how high the lumber is being launched. Jordan got some pretty rad air on this one, but in the future I’d like to get more specific data on the height, speed, and trajectory of the flip. Call it FLIPf/x.

THE FIELD GOAL


Like I said before, legs are really useful. For this bat flip, I utilized my legs yet again. Instead of flipping the bat with my arms, hands, and fingers, like most human beings do, I used my legs, feet, and toes to send the plastic stick into the great beyond. While there are some potential dangers associated with such a method, free souvenirs would certainly enhance the fan experience.

THE MANGO MANCHALUPA

Manny Machado made headlines a few weeks back for trying to chuck his bat at the pitcher like an actual insane person. While Manny recieved a lot of flack for his actions, his real mistake was that he didn’t hit the ball, and more specifically, he didn’t even hit a dinger. Hey Manny! News flash for you: If you hit da ball outta da park, you can throw your bat wherever or at whomever you want.

THE ANARCHIST


While most cars are designed to be driven, cars have many other functions. For instance we bat flipped on top of one. This one is extremely difficult to pull off during a game, but extremely easy to pull off during a riot.

THE DRIVE AND FLIP


This is one you should not try at home because if you do, the walls of your house will fall down because you drove into them. Most hitting coaches stress minimal head movement, but most hitting coaches also recommend not driving a car while you swing so screw most hitting coaches. Even though we haven’t seen “the drive and flip” in the big leagues yet, Yasiel Puig could bring it out at any time so stay glued to your televisions.

These were our ideas for bat flips, but you should send your ideas for other bat flips to cespedesfb@gmail.com and we will do them, Vine them, and post them. Happy Flipping!

 

2 comments to Bat Flip Kings

  1. Bat Flip episodes. Great job.
    Chris L./Los Angeles
    SiriusXM Channel 41/Tim Timebomb and Friends Radio Show

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