2014 CFBBQ Season Previews: St. Louis Cardinals

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 cardinals_withnames

Off-season Haiku:

Dumped the hero Freese,

Got Bourjos and his high socks.

Oh, and Mark Ellis.

Best Names in the Farm System:

  • C Travis Tartamella
  • 1B Xavier Scruggs
  • C Jesus Montero
  • RHP Jordan Swagerty
  • RHP Silfredo Garcia
  • RHP Dixon Llorens
  • RHP Samiel Tuivailala
  • C Gerwuins Velazco
  • SS Ildemaro Vargas
  • OF Breyvic Valera
  • SS Kenneth Peoples-Walls
  • RHP Will Changarotty
  • RHP Virgilio Encarnacion
  • C Dionenrys Pena
  • OF Magneuris Sierra
  • RHP Fidencio Flores
  • LHP Max Foody
  • 2B Malik Collymore
  • RHP Dailyn Martinez
  • C Steve Bean
  • C Roman Wick
  • 2B Richy Pedroza
  • 2B Robelys Reyes
  • 1B Justin Ringo
  • OF Jhohan Acevedo
  • 3B Ronnierd Garcia
  • RHP Franyal Casadilla
  • SS Wadye Ynfante

2014 CFBBQ Season Previews: Cincinnati Reds

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Off-season Haiku:

Extended Homer.

Brought in Skip Schumaker.

How exciting. NOT.

Best Names in the Farm System:

  • 1B Marquez Smith
  • RHP El’Hajj Muhammad
  • 1B Logan Uxa
  • RHP Werleen Taveras
  • SS Zach Vincej
  • OF Beau Amaral
  • RHP Davide Anselmi
  • LHP Jakub Izold
  • RHO Soid Marquez
  • RHP Franderlyn Romero
  • C Chadwick Tromp
  • C Shedric Long
  • DH Argenis Aldazoro
  • 2B Oviel Florentino
  • OF Aristides Aquino
  • RHP Radhames Quezada
  • 3B Ery Bernabel
  • OF Diohanky Mejia
  • OF Jose Siri
  • C Pabel Manzanero
  • RHP Wendolyn Bautista
  • 2B Anthony Rubicondo
  • RHP Adolfi Telleria
  • 1B Raynar Guerrero
  • OF Diohanky Mejia
  • 1B Jhimmy Lopez

2014 CFBBQ Season Previews: Seattle Mariners

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 mariners_withnames

Off-season Haiku:

Robinson Cano.

Robinson Cano! Cano!

Robinson Cano.

Best Names in the Farm System:

  • RHP Forrest Snow
  • OF Jabari Blash
  • OF Cavan Cohoes
  • RHP Mayckol Guaipe
  • RHP Jochi Ogando
  • OF Arby Fields
  • OF Burt Reynolds
  • OF Janelfry Zorrilla
  • OF Chantz Mack
  • RHP Neritzon Osorio
  • RHP Ugueth Urbina
  • LHP Melchor Urquides
  • 2B Gianfranco Wawoe
  • RHP Anjul Hernandez
  • LHP Rohimard Carrillo
  • LHP Liarvis Breto
  • C Geoandry Montilla
  • SS Greifer Andrade
  • 3B Jhonbaker Morales
  • SS Rayder Ascanio
  • RHP Yohailys Millord
  • OF Adalfi Almonte

2014 CFBBQ Season Previews: Los Angeles Angels

Angel Eyes

angels_withnames

Off-season Haiku:

Trumbo and Bourjos

will be missed, but too much.

Because Trout. Mike Trout.

Best Names in the Farm System:

  • RHP Orangel Arenas
  • C Jett Bandy
  • C Abel Baker
  • C Anthony Bemboom
  • OF Exicardo Cayones
  • OF Chevy Clarke
  • C Enyelber Vivas
  • 2B Kirby Pellant
  • C Cambric Moye
  • OF Ranyelmy Mendoza
  • RHP Spencer Trygg
  • OF Michael Fish
  • LHP Engerberg Rosales
  • LHP Edisson Rosario
  • RHP Crusito Mieses
  • SS Goldny Mills
  • SS Darlyn Mota
  • OF Ayendy Perez
  • OF Junior Pedie
  • RHP Yency Almonte
  • RHP Arjenis Fernandez
  • LHP Eswarlin Jimenes
  • RHP Joey Krehbiel

FIVE BOLD PREDICTIONS:

  • During their final series of the year, long after being eliminated from playoff contention, the Angels bullpen will fail to record any outs. After a decent, 7-inning outing from C.J. Wilson, the bullpen will come in and give up 173 runs until the umpires tell them to “stop trying” after giving up their 12th home run of the game to John Buck, who will be batting left-handed at that point.
  • Now given the opportunity to destroy the Rangers’ soul at least 19 times a year, David Freese will hit at least one walk-off home run off every single Texas reliever. Each home run will force a Game 7, and Joe Buck will see you tomorrow night.
  • Mike Trout will fly to Afghanistan for a USO event to support the troops. An inconveniently informed baseball fan will accuse him of “loving WAR” and “promoting WAR more than anyone else in baseball history”. It’ll be like, sooooo awkward.
  • Using a portion of his gargantuan contract, Albert Pujols will replace the base paths at Angel Stadium with fluffy carpet to help ease the eternal pain in his feet.
  • During the All-Star Break, Josh Hamilton will be eating dinner at a fancy restaurant. Across the room, he will see a tray of food being delivered to a table of innocent dinner guests. What’s on the tray? Sliders. He won’t be able to control himself. He will immediately go into a fit of discomfort, wildly swinging his breadsticks in every direction until the sliders are gone and he can go home. Just another sad night out for Josh :(

2014 CFBBQ Season Previews: Detroit Tigers

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 tigers_withnames

Off-season Haiku:

Finally dumped Prince.

Gave Miggy all the money.

Two years for Rajai!

Best Names in the Farm System:

  • SS Dixon Machado
  • RHP Warwick Saupold
  • RHP Montreal Robertson
  • RHP Guido Knudson
  • RHP Yorfrank Lopez
  • OF Raph Rhymes
  • RHP Confesor Lara
  • LHP Gerbinson Perez
  • RHP Adenson Verastegui
  • C Arvicent Perez
  • DH Andres Sthormes
  • LHP Junior Camaripano
  • RHP Wildenson Yanez
  • C Jheyser Azuaje
  • 2B Keyder Aristigueta
  • 3B Dilinyer Flores
  • 3B Junnell Ledezma
  • SS Issrael De La Cruz

 

2014 CFBBQ Season Previews: Cleveland Indians

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 indians_withnames

Off-season Haiku:

Traded for Drew Stubbs.

Brought in a huge superstar:

David Murphy! Yeah!

Best Names in the Farm System:

  • 2B Yhoxian Medina
  • 3B Giovanny Urshela
  • 3B Paddy Matera
  • 1B Jerrud Sabourin
  • SS Dorssys Paulino
  • RHP Dace Kime
  • C Sicnarf Loopstok
  • RHP Kieran Lovegrove
  • OF Silento Sayles
  • RHP Rodolfo Villasmil
  • C Yoiber Marquina
  • 2B Yoan Andujar
  • SS Grofi Cruz
  • RHP Cortland Cox
  • 2B Ordomar Valdez

2014 CFBBQ Season Previews: Chicago White Sox

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Off-season Haiku:

Traded for Eaton.

Even more Cubans! Oh yes,

Jose Abreu.

Best Names in the Farm System:

  • RHP Henry Mabee
  • RHP Diogenes Rosario
  • 1B Rangel Ravelo
  • RHP Storm Throne
  • 2B Cleuluis Rondon
  • LHP Jhoan Quijada
  • 3B Joxelier Garcia
  • OF Hanleth Otano
  • LHP Josbel Coroba
  • LHP Feny Arias
  • RHP Eriberto Percel
  • LHP Jhoan Quijada
  • C Ylexander Villaroel

2014 CFBBQ Season Previews: Tampa Bay Rays

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 rays_withnames

Off-season Haiku:

Stole Balfour from O’s.

Three years for James Loney? Sure!

Traded for Heath Bell.

Best Names in the Farm System:

  • C Mayobanex Acosta
  • OF Mikie Mahtook
  • 2B Juniel Querecuto
  • LHP Stone Speer
  • RHP Anthony Tzamtzis
  • SS Bill Pujols
  • RHP Hyrum Formo
  • RHP Yael Regalado
  • LHP Christopher Crisostomo
  • RHP Clayton Crum
  • RHP Yonny Chirinos
  • SS Enneider Torres
  • OF Randhi Balcazar
  • RHP Jhefferson Hurtado
  • RHP Luigence Thomas
  • LHP Genesis Cabrera
  • C Jesus Trinidad
  • RHP Harmen Sidhu

 

2014 CFBBQ Season Previews: Boston Red Sox

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 redsox_withnames

Off-season Haiku:

Brought back Napoli.

We all love Grady Sizemore.

A.J. Pierzynski.

Best Names in the Farm System:

  • 2B Heiker Meneses
  • OF Kolbrin Vitek
  • 2B Mookie Betts
  • OF Kendrick Perkins
  • 3B Jantzen Witte
  • OF Williams Jerez
  • RHP Yankory Pimentel
  • OF Raiwinson Lameda
  • RHP Enfember Martinez
  • OF Forrestt Allday
  • RHP K.J. Trader
  • RHP German Taveras
  • C Alixon Suarez
  • LHP Darwinzon Hernandez
  • RHP Hildemaro Requena
  • LHP Jervis Torrelba

2014 CFBBQ Season Previews: Baltimore Orioles

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Off-season Haiku:

Ubaldo and Cruz.

Oh, and Johan Santana.

8 Jemile, son.

Best Names in the Farm System:

  • SS Sharlon Schoop
  • OF Kyeong Kang
  • RHP Eunchul Choi
  • SS Sammie Starr
  • OF Trent Mummey
  • C Steel Russell
  • C Wynston Sawyer
  • 2B Torsten Boss
  • 2B Shawn Roof
  • OF Creede Simpson
  • RHP Wendell Floranus
  • C Alexander Labrador
  • OF Rochendrick Alexander
  • RHP Lu Franc-Cito LeFranc
  • SS Gonzalo Galastica
  • 3B Yeridolfo Lizardo
  • 1B Rockny Martinez
  • SS Jacniel Cabrera
  • RHP Nik Nowottnick
  • 1B Pita Rona
  • OF Andrickson Zorrilla