BBQ Best Name Bracket Champion: Shadrack McHooveter

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>>> CLICK HERE FOR THE FINAL BRACKET <<<

After roughly two weeks of grueling competition between 64 of our favorite names from ancient baseball history, we have reached a triumphant conclusion. After three days of championship voting, a winner has been crowned.

2. Shadrack McHooveter (56.7%) vs. 3. Pretzels Getzien (43.3%)

To recap our champion’s historic run, I’ll seek to answer three simple questions.

How did Shadrack McHooveter get to this point?

In Round 1, the #2 seed Shadrack was matched up against what we thought to be the toughest #15 seed: Cliff Doom. Shad and his supporters were hardly intimidated, handing doom a defeat of biblical proportions: 76% of the vote — the highest % he would ultimately receive all tournament.

Round 2 presented Shadrack with the first of three consecutive juvenile competitors, this being one of the two Dick Jokes in the tournament: #10 seed Dick Powers. The Dick Jokes proved to be a tough test for anyone unfortunate enough to have to face them, but McHooveter McHooved by Powers with just under 51% of the vote to advance to the Sweet 16.

After surviving the Dick, Shadrack was now faced with the butts; underdog #14 seed Clovis Butts, to be exact. Early support for Butts eventually faded, as Shadrack surged ahead and advanced with a solid yet unspectacular 54% of the vote.

The Elite Eight presented Shadrack with another Cinderella story that tickled a lot of voters’ fancies in the form of #13 seed Dizzy Nutter. After countless cries against the under-seeding of Mr. Nutter, his strongest supporters seemed to fall silent for this crucial stage in the tournament, only mustering 42% any of the vote to Shadrack’s 58%. McHooveter moved on.

The Final Four was undoubtedly Shadrack’s most difficult challenge: the #1 overall seed and perennial powerhouse, Ten Million. Those crying Real Names Over Nicknames had no argument against Million’s genuine moniker, and yet, Shadrack managed to edge out an incredible victory by a mere nine votes against the Ten Million Dollar Man. Many argued that this deserved to the be the championship match-up — I can’t say I disagree. Regardless, Shadrack advanced to the final stage.

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BBQ Best Name Bracket Final Four Results

CHAMPIONSHIP VOTING IS NOW OPEN

>>> CLICK HERE FOR THE BRACKET <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR ROUND 1 RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR ROUND 2 RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR SWEET 16 RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR ELITE EIGHT RESULTS <<<

We have reached the agonizing final stages of this bracket, with each region’s winner ascending to the Final Four to compete for a spot in the Best Name Championship. Our four remaining competitors:

Ten Million AKA 10,000,000 AKA The Original North West entered the tourney as the #1 overall seed and the favorite to take home the trophy. He cruised through the first few rounds of his region, but his 55% showing in the Elite Eight against Van Lingle Mungo did seem to cast some doubt on his pedigree.

Shadrack McHooveter, a valiant #2 seed who crushed Dizzy Nutter’s Cinderella story in the previous round to punch his ticket to the Final Four. “Shad”, as his friends know him, garnered immense support once matched up against Ten Million, with many citing the popular Beastie Boys song as his official anthem.

Pretzels Getzien, the OG Best Name and the god damn inspiration for this entire tournament and innovator of the curveball, has earned hundreds of votes from Barbecast listeners and snack enthusiasts alike. His remarkable run to the latter stages of this tournament will never be forgotten, no matter the end result.

And of course, Orlando Zgraggen, the other remaining #1 seed alongside Mr. Million, fought through what we considered to be the toughest region in the tournament on his way to the Final Four. He took down crowd favorites Yank Deas and Lil Stoner with no remorse, and appeared locked and loaded heading into his match-up against Pretzels.

Four names entered. Only two remain. The results:

Final Four

1. Ten Million (49.6%) vs. 2. Shadrack McHooveter (50.4%)

This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable Shadrack. McHooveter holds on by a mere nine votes to advance to the title match.

3. Pretzels Getzien (54.6%) vs. 1. Orlando Zgraggen (45.4%)

The support for our German hero stayed strong, as the Zgraggen was sent home Zpacking.

***

The official sponsor of the Best Name Bracket is baseball-reference.com! Right now, you can head over to http://www.baseball-reference.com/play-index/bbq.shtml and use the coupon code “bbq” to get $6 off a one-year subscription to the Play Index, an invaluable tool for answering all your ridiculously specific statistical queries about baseball history.

CHAMPIONSHIP VOTING IS NOW OPEN

>>> CLICK HERE FOR THE BRACKET <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR ROUND 1 RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR ROUND 2 RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR SWEET 16 RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR ELITE EIGHT RESULTS <<<

 

BBQ Best Name Bracket Elite Eight Results

>>> FINAL FOUR VOTING IS NOW OPEN <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR THE BRACKET <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR ROUND 1 RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR ROUND 2 RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR SWEET 16 RESULTS <<<

We’ve come a long way since the BBQ Best Name Bracket opened about a week ago with 64 tremendous baseball names from the distant past. Over 50,000 individual votes have been cast since the first 32 match-ups were opened, and after a smattering of upsets and dominant performances from higher seeds alike, America has narrowed the field down to four. The results:

bestnamebracketfinalfour

REGION 1

1. Ten Million (55%) vs. 3. Van Lingle Mungo (45%)

The pre-tourney favorite to win it all had his first real test in Mungo, and his % dropped another 7 points from the previous round. It was still more than enough to defeat VLM and punch his ticket to the Final Four.

REGION 2

13. Dizzy Nutter (42%) vs. 2. Shadrack McHooveter (58%)

The fan favorite Nutter’s miracle run comes to an end, as Shadrack moves on with the highest % of votes among the four winning teams this round.

REGION 3

9. Boots Poffenberger (48%) vs. 3. Pretzels Getzien (52%)

The #9 seed had one hell of a run to this point, but his amusing belligerent alcoholism detailed so eloquently in his description could only take him so far. Pretzels > Poff.

REGION 4

1. Orlando Zgraggen (54%) vs. 11. Lil Stoner (46%)

Enter the Zgraggen, Lil Stoner did, and eliminated he was.

***

The official sponsor of the Best Name Bracket is baseball-reference.com! Right now, you can head over to http://www.baseball-reference.com/play-index/bbq.shtml and use the coupon code “bbq” to get $6 off a one-year subscription to the Play Index, an invaluable tool for answering all your ridiculously specific statistical queries about baseball history.

>>> FINAL FOUR VOTING IS NOW OPEN <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR THE BRACKET <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR ROUND 1 RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR ROUND 2 RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR SWEET 16 RESULTS <<<

BBQ Best Name Bracket Sweet 16 Results

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>>> CLICK HERE FOR ROUND 1 RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR ROUND 2 RESULTS <<<

The Sweet 16 of the BBQ Best Name Bracket presented us with eight heart-wrenching match-ups. This brutal round forced us to do some thorough soul searching in an effort to determine which of these 16 names were worth of Elite Eight status. In the words of Ryan Seacrest, America has spoken. Full results and analysis:

bestnamebracketeliteeight

REGION 1

1. Ten Million (62%) vs. 4. Cheese Goggans (38%)

While the #1 overall seed won handily yet again, it’s worth pointing out that Mr. Million has dropped roughly ten percentage points each round. If the trend continues, he may struggle to beat the intimidating Mungo.

3. Van Lingle Mungo (59%) vs. 7. Mysterious Walker (41%)

Mysterious Walker’s mysterious hot streak ends at the hands of VLM. About time.

REGION 2

1. Count Sensenderfer (48%) vs. 13. Dizzy Nutter (52%)

Another #1 seed falls at the hands of Dizzy Nutter and the enormous bandwagon of support he’s got right behind him. Many thought this would be the end of the line for Dizzy, but here we are.

14. Clovis Butts (46%) vs. 2. Shadrack McHooveter (54%)

The Cinderella Butts story comes to a tragic yet understandable end, as the six-syllable Shadrack earned just enough votes to continue onto Round 4.

REGION 3

9. Boots Poffenberger (66%) vs. 4. Ed Head (34%)

Arguably a more surprising upset than his takedown of #1 seed Bris Lord, Boots continued his excellent form with a shockingly easy defeat of the best rhyme in the tourney, Ed Head.

3. Pretzels Getzien (64%) vs. 2. The Only Nolan (36%)

After a second round scare against Dick Oder, Pretzels and his supporters re-gained focus and confidently beat The Only Nolan. The Only Pretzels.

REGION 4

1. Orlando Zgraggen (53%) vs. 5. Yank Deas (47%)

The first two rounds seemed to indicate an unstoppable journey towards the title for Yank, but the Zgraggen was released and Deas’ journey was indeed stopped in Round 3.

11. Lil Stoner (51%) vs. 2. Squiz Pillion (49%)

Perhaps the most disappointing result for us here at the BBQ, one of our all-time favorites was eliminated by a mere 13 votes in favor of The Littlest Stoner. So much for the Million vs. Pillion championship. THANKS, GUYS.

The official sponsor of the Best Name Bracket is baseball-reference.com! Right now, you can head over to http://www.baseball-reference.com/play-index/bbq.shtml and use the coupon code “bbq” to get $6 off a one-year subscription to the Play Index, an invaluable tool for answering all your ridiculously specific statistical queries about baseball history.

>>> CLICK HERE FOR THE BRACKET <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR ROUND 1 RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR ROUND 2 RESULTS <<<

BBQ Best Name Bracket Round 2 Results

>>> CLICK HERE FOR THE BRACKET <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR ROUND 1 RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR SWEET 16 RESULTS <<<

Round 2 of the BBQ Best Name Bracket concluded last night, as voters across the globe determined the 16 names they’d like to see duke it out for the title of Best Name in Baseball History. In turn, 16 tremendous names were sent home, forced to ponder what combination of letters or string of consonants could have given them a better chance in this remarkably tough field. We enter the Sweet 16 with only three #1 seeds, a Cinderella #14 seed, and perhaps most shockingly, zero dick jokes. Full results and analysis:

(click image to enlarge)

bestnamebracketsweet16

REGION 1

1. Ten Million (74%) vs. 9. Bill Dingus (26%)

The Ten Million train had no issue with the scrappy #9 seed. He’ll face his first true competition in the Sweet 16.

12. Bud Weiser (42%) vs. 4. Cheese Goggans (58%)

America may have liked Budweiser enough to put the #12 seed through to Round 2, but he was no match for the man known as Cheese.

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BBQ Best Name Bracket Round 1 Results

>>> CLICK HERE FOR THE BRACKET <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR ROUND 2 RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR SWEET 16 RESULTS <<<

Earlier this week, we introduced the BBQ Best Name Bracket presented by Baseball-Reference, a March Madness-style tournament allowing you to help us determine the funniest name in old-timey baseball history. After some initial discomfort with the committee’s seeding selections, passionate folk across America rushed out to the polls to express their support for their favorite monikers. Roughly 34,000 individual votes were cast (about 1,000 per match-up) during Round 1 of the Best Name Bracket. Here are the results, along with some super serious analysis:

(click image to enlarge)

bestnamebracketroundtwo

Region 1

1. Ten Million (85%) vs. 16. Firpo Marberry (15%)

The #1 overall seed had no trouble advancing, steamrolling the unassuming Firpo with a convincing % of the vote.

8. Frank De Frank (42%) vs. 9. Bill Dingus (58%)

The 8-9 match-up is generally a toss-up, but the voters seemed pretty sure about this one. Mr. Dingus comfortably defeated Frankie Frank. He’ll need a lot of support in Round 2 to defeat the 10,000,000 powerhouse.

5. Double Duty Radcliffe (43%) vs. 12. Bud Weiser (57%)

America loves beer. Even bad beer. Bud Weiser moves on, while Bud Light was eliminated in the first round of the Best Name NIT.

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Introducing the CFBBQ Best Name Bracket presented by Baseball-Reference

>>> CLICK HERE FOR THE BRACKET <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR ROUND 1 RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR ROUND 2 RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR SWEET 16 RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR ELITE EIGHT RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR FINAL FOUR RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR CHAMPIONSHIP RESULTS <<<

Names are a fantastic part of baseball. There are so many of them! Here are a few: Jim. Mike. Tom. Astyanax.

Way back on Episode 14 of the Barbecast, a scattered conversation with Jason Wojciechowski eventually led to the discovery of Pretzels Getzien, a right-hander who pitched in the late 19th century whose name we simply couldn’t get over. Within minutes of finding Pretzels, we fell headfirst into the old-timey baseball rabbit hole that baseball-reference.com provides. Our eyes were opened to the careers of players with memorable monikers such as Puddin’ Head Jones, Boileryard Clarke, and Chicken Wolf. Naturally, we wanted more. And so, the B-Ref Battle was born, a segment on the Barbecast where we each present our favorite baseball names that we found over the previous week. As our list of ridiculous names grew (our official list is approaching 400 names), we started having discussions — heated debates, even — over which of one these remarkable names was definitively the best. To attempt to answer this, we’ve compiled a March-Madness style bracket to allow you, the people, to determine who is indeed the best name in baseball history.

We’re proud to present the Best Name in Baseball History Bracket presented by Baseball-Reference.

(click image to enlarge)

 

bestnamebracket

You probably notice that there are a few notable baseball names missing from our bracket. “Where’s Rusty Kuntz?”, you wonder out loud, as the woman behind you in line at Starbucks throws you a perplexed look. “How did they miss Rougned Odor?”, you plea to your history professor as you exit class. With the aforementioned 19th century flamethrower Pretzels Getzein being our inspiration for this whole thing, we’ve almost exclusively limited our B-Ref Battle names to players from the pre-war era. This is not because we don’t appreciate the countless amazing names scattered throughout affiliated rosters over the past 70 years. Look no further than our 2015 team previews, which listed the best names in each organization’s minor leagues. But the spirit of the B-Ref Battle has always had a historic tilt. Thus, no player born after September 2nd, 1945, the official end of WWII, was permitted onto our bracket.

A few other rules and regulations:

  • For a name to be eligible, it must be the one prominently displayed on his baseball-reference page, not just a nickname listed in parentheses (Example: Puddin’ Head Jones is listed as Willie Jones; Chicken Wolf is listed as Chicken Wolf)
  • While baseball-reference does have managerial pages, we kept this bracket to players-only. Sorry, Kid Fears and Jew Hellman.
  • If you’ve scavenged minor league rosters from the pre-war era, you’ve more than likely come across incomplete pages that list a mere word as the player’s name. So while names like”Beer“, “Book“, “Ping“, “Plant“, and “Sphere” are certainly amusing, names of such ilk were ineligible for bracket selection.
  • Seeding and selection was based on us each picking our 32 favorite names out of our comprehensive list of 350+ that have appeared on the B-Ref Battle podcast segment. We regrettably had to leave out at least 50 that were worthy of this bracket.
  • VOTING: You may only vote once per match-up.

We are also excited to announce that the official sponsor of our Best Name Bracket is — you guessed it! — baseball-reference.com! Right now, you can head over to http://www.baseball-reference.com/play-index/bbq.shtml and use the coupon code “bbq” to get $6 off a one-year subscription to the Play Index, an invaluable tool for answering all your ridiculously specific statistical queries about baseball history. In addition, our weekly B-Ref Battle podcast segment will also be brought to you by baseball-reference — you’ll hear us talk more about the Play Index on our next episode, Barbecast 81.

Use the hashtag #BBQBestNameBracket when campaigning for your favorite surname to win it all — especially all you Yam Yaryan die-hards. If you’re feeling particularly confident, you can print and fill out a bracket (click here for PDF) and send us a picture of your picks. We’ll retweet any lunatic who has Milo Trpkosh in the Final Four. And if you somehow manage a perfect bracket, we’ll totally give you a billion dollars.

>>> CLICK HERE FOR THE BRACKET <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR ROUND 1 RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR ROUND 2 RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR SWEET 16 RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR ELITE EIGHT RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR FINAL FOUR RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR CHAMPIONSHIP RESULTS <<<

Where Will Yo Go? A Comprehensive Guide to Yoenis Cespedes’ Free Agency

Where Will Yo Go? A Comprehensive Guide to Yoenis Cespedes' Free Agency

Yoenis Cespedes is a free agent. He can sign with whomever he wants, though it’s most likely that he’ll sign with a major league baseball team. We thought about selling all of our shirseys to try and make a run at Yo, but we realized he’s probably not interested in a 1-year, 74-dollar deal.

Unless he decides to join the PGA Tour earlier than expected, Yoenis is going to make a lot of money this winter — probably more than he’s actually worth. Barring an MC Hammer-level financial meltdown, Yoenis will never have to worry about money again after signing this contract. Not bad for a quiet dude from Campechuela.

Before the Yoenis sweepstakes heat up, we’d like to run through each team and investigate their prospects of signing the man with the fire-breathing Lamborghini.

31. Cespedes Family BBQ

Why Yes: We’re like, his biggest fans. We met him once and it seemed like he could tolerate us as friends for a longer period of time. We could hang out with Yoenis Cespedes on a regular basis.

Why No: We don’t have anything of value to offer to Yo, let alone millions upon millions of real actual dollars, which seems to be a key aspect to signing a big-time free agent.

30. Tampa Bay Rays

Why Yes: Yoenis already has a home in Florida. He could golf even more than he already does. This opens up the possibility of him swimming in the stingray pool at some point.

Why No: The most expensive free agent signing in the post-Devil Rays era, was the whopping 3-year $21 million deal they gave to James Loney a few years ago. No chance they can afford Yoenis, let alone his new car.

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The MLB Fan Cave: A Eulogy

It’s a sad day in BBQLand.B9Z9wl8IIAEtn1R

 

 

 

MLB announced this morning that they plan to shut down the MLB Fan Cave. It’s currently unclear exactly what they plan to do with the physical space as well as the over 500,000 Twitter followers, but for us here at the Cespedes Family Barbecue the news is most certainly sad. We were lucky enough to spend a fair amount of time at the Cave this past summer and while we were impressed with the awesomeness of the actual facility, what really struck us was the depth and breadth of creative content the people over there had created.

We don’t know why the Fan Cave is ceasing operations, and we might never know, but I think it’s important to recognize some of the amazing content those behind the scenes were able to create. So here are a few of my favorite videos/vines/whatever that they developed over the past four years.

Vlad Guerrero/50 Cent

This is arguably the best baseball-related thing of all time. If I could either watch this or Barry Bonds for the rest of my life, I’d probably pick Barry Bonds highlights, but it’s really, really close. This Vine captures what really set the Fan Cave content apart: it had a perfect combination of the ideas, resources, and abilities needed to achieve a vine as perfect and as beautiful as this one.

Chase Utley Always Sunny

 

I still think about whether or not Chase Utley actually watches the show or if the people at the Fan Cave had to sit him down and make him watch Charlie and Frank fighting over a dog painting that Hitler may or may not have made (I know it’s not the same episode).

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The Mysterious Case of Bobblehead Yuni

Yesterday, former major league shortstop Yuniesky Betancourt turned 33. While I am certainly not the only fan who maintains a love-hate relationship with Yuni, I like to think I’ve kept it up longer than most, for better or for worse (definitely for worse). My affinity for Yuni stems from his three-plus years as my beloved Mariners’ starting shortstop. As some of you know, we like to have fun with the @Mariners over on the Twitter machine. It’s pretty clearly the best MLB team Twitter account, and we enjoy interacting with them from time to time. However, I quickly learned the hard way that @Mariners can troll with the best of them.

In November of 2013, I purchased a 2008 Seattle Mariners Yuniesky Betancourt bobblehead on eBay. It was a ridiculous purchase, but my the desk in my dorm room was in need of another member; Cobra Bubbles and Count Chocula needed another running mate. And so, Bobblehead Yuni joined them.

That “crazy shit” turned out to be signing that Robinson Cano guy to a lot of years for a lot of money. That was pretty exciting! I began to trust Bobblehead Yuni to emotionally guide me through the dangerous hot stove season with that confident smile of his. For a while, this coping strategy worked like a charm. When the Mariners traded my irrationally beloved Carter Capps to Miami, Bobblehead Yuni was there for me. When the Mariners gave Corey Hart’s knees $6 million, Bobblehead Yuni was there for me. When the Mariners gave Willie Bloomquist a two-year deal, you’re god damn right Bobblehead Yuni was there for me. Suddenly, disaster struck. At some point over the first few weeks of my spring semester, Bobblehead Yuni mysteriously disappeared. I was horrified. What transpired over the next several months cannot be explained with words…but it can be explained with tweets. In honor of his birthday, here it is: the mysterious case of Bobblehead Yuni.

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