Organizational Lineups: The Best Names In the Minor Leagues (NL Central)

If it wasn’t obvious already, we absolutely love ridiculous names. For each 2014 team preview, we included a list of the best names in the organization. Because it’s summer, I’m gonna take it one step further. I have assembled a starting lineup and starting rotation of the most spectacular names for every team in baseball using solely players in their respective minor league systems. You will read some of these names and question their legitimacy but a quick Google search will confirm each and every one these as 100% real. As a rule, each position must be played by a player that is actually listed at that position. For example, the Giants have five different shortstops with unbelievable names but I could only choose two (SS and DH). Every team has a DH, and the DH could be any position player. Each team also has a five man rotation. Rotations were certainly difficult to determine because OH MY GOD THESE PITCHER NAMES ARE UNREAL. Okay. TO THE SQUADS.

Click here for Part 1 (NL East).

Click here for Part 2 (AL East). 

NL CENTRAL

Chicago Cubs

Chicago Cubs

  • C Yaniel Cabezas
  • 1B Roney Alcala
  • 2B Gioskar Amaya
  • 3B Wladimir Galindo
  • SS Varonex Cuevas
  • OF Charcer Burks
  • OF Jenner Emeterio
  • OF Bijan Radenmacher
  • DH Rock Shoulders
  1. RHP Brohiglyn Rivero
  2. RHP Adbert Alzolay
  3. LHP Yapson Gomez
  4. RHP Greyfer Eregua
  5. RHP Harrinson Bermudez

Cincinnati Reds

Cincinnati Reds

  • C Chadwick Tromp
  • 1B Jhimmy Lopez
  • 2B Oviel Florentino
  • 3B Ery Bernabel
  • SS Zach Vincej
  • OF Beau Amaral
  • OF Aristides Aquino
  • OF Diohanky Mejia
  • DH Argenis Aldazoro
  1. RHP Werleen Taveras
  2. RHP Franderlyn Romero
  3. RHP Soid Marquez
  4. RHP Wendolyn Bautista
  5. RHP Radhames Quezada

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Organizational Lineups: The Best Names In the Minor Leagues (AL East)

If it wasn’t obvious already, we absolutely love ridiculous names. For each 2014 team preview, we included a list of the best names in the organization. Because it’s summer, I’m gonna take it one step further. I have assembled a starting lineup and starting rotation of the most spectacular names for every team in baseball using solely players in their respective minor league systems. You will read some of these names and question their legitimacy but a quick Google search will confirm each and every one these as 100% real. As a rule, each position must be played by a player that is actually listed at that position. For example, the Giants have five different shortstops with unbelievable names but I could only choose two (SS and DH). Every team has a DH, and the DH could be any position player. Each team also has a five man rotation. Rotations were certainly difficult to determine because OH MY GOD THESE PITCHER NAMES ARE UNREAL. Okay. TO THE SQUADS.

Click here for Part 1 (NL East).

AL EAST

Baltimore Orioles

Baltimore Orioles

  • C Steel Russell
  • 1B Rockny Martinez
  • 2B Torsten Boss
  • 3B Yeridolfo Lizardo
  • SS Gonzalo Galastica
  • OF Trent Mummey
  • OF Rochendrick Alexander
  • OF Andrickson Zorrilla
  • DH Pita Rona
  1. RHP Nik Nowottnick
  2. RHP Dioni Dominguez
  3. RHP Lu Franc-Cito LeFranc
  4. RHP Ofelky Peralta
  5. RHP Yeizer Marrugo

Boston Red Sox

Boston Red Sox

  • C Alixon Suarez
  • 1B Darwin Pena
  • 2B Heiker Meneses
  • 3B Jantzen Witte
  • SS Raymel Flores
  • OF Kendrick Perkins
  • OF Raiwinson Lameda
  • OF Forrestt Allday
  • DH Gerardo Carrizalez
  1. RHP Enfember Martinez
  2. RHP Hildemaro Requena
  3. LHP Darwinzon Hernandez
  4. RHP Yankory Pimentel
  5. LHP Jervis Torrealba

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Organizational Lineups: The Best Names In the Minor Leagues (NL East)

If it wasn’t obvious already, we absolutely love ridiculous names. For each 2014 team preview, we included a list of the best names in the organization. Because it’s summer, I’m gonna take it one step further. I have assembled a starting lineup and starting rotation of the most spectacular names for every team in baseball using solely players in their respective minor league systems. You will read some of these names and question their legitimacy but a quick Google search will confirm each and every one these as 100% real. As a rule, each position must be played by a player that is actually listed at that position. For example, the Giants have five different shortstops with unbelievable names but I could only choose two (SS and DH). Every team has a DH, and the DH could be any position player. Each team also has a five man rotation. Rotations were certainly difficult to determine because OH MY GOD THESE PITCHER NAMES ARE UNREAL. Okay. TO THE SQUADS.

NL EAST

Atlanta Braves

Atlanta Braves

  • C Orrin Sears
  • 1B Juruengelo Tielman
  • 2B Mattia Mercuri
  • 3B Mike Dodig
  • SS Ray-Patrick Didder
  • OF Nisandro Cleofa
  • OF Fernelys Sanchez
  • OF Ledernin Tejada
  • DH Trenton Moses
  1. RHP Osman Manzanares
  2. RHP Evertz Orozco
  3. RHP Dakota Dill
  4. RHP Francois Lafreniere
  5. RHP Jesus Jones

Miami Marlins

Miami Marlins

  • C Yobanis Pinto
  • 1B Viosergy Rosa
  • 2B Terrence Dayleg
  • 3B J.T. Riddle
  • SS Garvis Lara
  • OF Wildert Pujols
  • OF Coco Johnson
  • OF Alinson Peguero
  • DH Iramis Olivencia
  1. RHP Jheyson Manzueta
  2. RHP Jorgan Cavenerio
  3. RHP Yeims Mendoza
  4. RHP Yonqueli Perez
  5. RHP Esmerling De La Rosa

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Pokemon or Minor Leaguer???

Pokemon and baseball have a lot in common. Both involve pure athleticism. Both involve an end goal of “catching them all.” But the most important thing these two staples of American society share are absurd names. Take your best shot and see if you can guess which of these names are Pokemon and which of these names are actual Minor League baseball players.

1. Chespin

Screen Shot 2014-03-30 at 2.48.18 AM 1371830575133

CLICK HERE FOR THE ANSWER

2. Klefki

Screen Shot 2014-03-30 at 2.59.42 AM 250px-707Klefki

CLICK HERE FOR THE ANSWER

3. Edioglis

910778250px-705Sliggoo

CLICK HERE FOR THE ANSWER

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Minnesota Twins Opening Day 2014 Starting Lineup

Sure, the Twins’ 2013 season just ended. But we’ve already received an exclusive look at their starting lineup for next season’s Opening Day match-up in Chicago against the White Sox.

YOUR 2014 Minnesota Twins:

2B Chance Moore

SS Juan Laricio

DH Melt Marlo

1B Chub Smith

LF Carlos Duran-Duran

3B Larry Coriander

RF Tanke Jones

CF Lazlo Holloway

C Max Rosario

STARTING PITCHER: Caleb Thielbar

Manager: Ralph Snow

Baseball Pornstar Names

These are all real baseball players who should probably consider a career change.

Orioles: Sammie Starr, Zelous Wheeler, Kyler Newby

D-Backs: Taylor Sinclair, Bubu Garcia

Braves: Terry Tiffe, Ryne Harper, Navery Moore,  Alex Wood, Donovan Drake

Cubs: Ty’relle Harris, Blake Lalli, Junior Lake, Dallas Beeler, Trey McNutt, Taylor Scott

White Sox: Dallas McPherson, Trayce Thompson, Shane Lindsey, Courntney Hawkins

Reds: Brian Peacock, Corky Miller, Brodie Greene, Justice French

Indians: Justin Toole, Alexis Parades, Louis Head, Kieran Lovegrove,

Rockies: Tyler Johnson, Alex White, Royce Ring, Parker Frazier, Taylor Featherston

The 2013 CFB Name All-Star Team

Before the season and before anyone really read our stuff, Jake and I did team-by-team previews for every team in baseball. They had very little analysis and a whole lot of #analysis. You can find them here. One of my favorite parts of these previews was Jake coming up with what we now refer to as CFB Names for every player in each projected starting lineup. I’ve got a few favorites from this absurd collection. These is my personal All-Star team solely based on these names. Warning: they’re REALLY stupid.

CATCHER: My Tweeters

FIRST BASE: Yawn Dora Lawn Zone

SECOND BASE: Triscuits

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A New and Improved Mount Rushmore

In our last trip to Hagerstown, we watched diminutive second base prospect Tony Renda play the game of baseball. Renda, a part of the Nationals organization, has a healthy crop of players ahead of him at his position. Potentially including top prospect Anthony Rendon. We quickly realized: Rendon renders Renda useless. One thing lead to another and…

…here we have the most beautiful Mount Rushmore you could possible recreate. Tony Renda, Anthony Rendon, Tigers “closer” Bruce Rondon, and the top prospect for the 2014 draft, left-hander Carlos Rodon.

Basically, RDNROENDRONDOENRODNEONRNDENODNENDNDNEORNDNENRN.