Part 7: ARE THEY RELATED ?!?!?!?!?!?!?

The Best. 

Click here for Part 6. 

MICHAEL AND DELMON YOUNG

These similarly terrible baseball players joined forces this year to bring defensive incompetence to the Phillies and have looked incredibly smooth doing so. While Delmon might lack the #class that Michael possesses, he makes up for it when it comes to weak groundouts to the infield and a polarizing presence at the plate. It really is hard to deny the moral differences between these two. they both appreciate negative WAR more than any other name-sharing couple in the majors and that has to count for something.

% CHANCE THEY’RE RELATED: 61%

EVAN AND EVA LONGORIA

I’m just gonna assume that one of their birth dates is a lie and these two are quite obviously twins. I also assume that their parents names are also Eva and Evan, and that they couldn’t be happier about the immense success of their children. Evan is often embarrassed about his twin sister, and doesn’t like talking about her. Eva tries her best to stay connected but Evan, being the stubborn brother, just wants to do his own thing. I don’t blame him. God Bless the Longorias.

% CHANCE THEY’RE RELATED: 98%

GORDON AND DAVID BECKHAM

Once referred to as “a right-handed Chase Utley”, Gordon has been less than stellar in his stint as a major leaguer. Gordon might have more career homers than David, but everyone’s favorite/least favorite futbol star crushes Gordon when it comes to underwear advertisements and Being Married To A Spice Girl. The physical comp is intriguing; they’re both about 6″0 185 lbs. There is long lost brother potential here, although I’d imagine if David was Gordon’s older brother, their parents would be kind enough to tell Gordon that he at least has some financial security once he realizes he can’t hit major league pitching.

% CHANCE THEY’RE RELATED: 44%

.gifs From Last Night: Silly Mike Baxter

Mets-Phillies

  • Good thing the Mets have two other all-star level outfielders to make up for plays like this…
  • To be fair, if there was a giant rawhide sphere barreling through the air in my direction, I would get the hell out of the way too.
  • That’s a lot of advertising concentrated in one specific corner of Citi Field. I count 5. Do you?
  • I like how Baxter turns and is briefly immersed in the possibilities of freecreditscore.com before he realizes the ball is about to drop.
  • It also looks like baseball Jesus just dropped the ball out of the sky because the trajectory of the ball looks like something from Angels in the Outfield.
  • Is that trash on the warning track? Get your shit together, Citi Field.