NEW CHRIS DAVIS SHIRTLESS PICS

So I was at my grandfather’s house the other day cleaning up some of his old stuff in the basement. As I sifted through piles of aged rubbish, I couldn’t help but think that there might be something valuable for me to find. Lo and behold, under a pile of 30 year old pharmacy receipts, I found something wonderful. Something incoherently perfect. Something bold, beautiful, and bicep-laden. I found new Chris Davis photos. Total coincidence that he hit two bombs today. Drool at your own safety.

This pic shows Davis in peak physical shape; his 8-pac bulging out of his Thor-like chest.

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Tales of #slack: The Josh Hamilton Experience

Everybody takes a break at work. Every day, we all get a little bit lazy for a couple of minutes. We lose concentration and slack off on our work. This fact is the only thing connecting Josh Hamilton to all of us regular humans. Until the day that the sun shrivels up like a raisin and we all die, Josh Hamilton will give away at-bats. I can’t promise many things in life, but I can say with certainty that day in and day out, Hamilton will show a distinct lack of #want, usually to a lefty. So without further ado, I present the first At-Bat Giveaway of the year.

Pitch 1

Count: 0-0

Pitch: 79 MPH Slider

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.gifs From Last Night: Adam and Torii

Tigers vs. Orioles

  • Either Torii just saw Prince Fielder’s man boobs, or he messed with an umpire.
  • It would have been awesome to see the umpire lift all of Torii Hunter up with one hand.
  • It’s good to know that there’s another Jim Leyland running around Detroit. And it’s good to know that he’s laughing at the umpire too.
  • Was he always bald…

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What Has Changed About Chris Davis ?

This past January, Baseball Prospectus’ Sam Miller explored the possibility of former Orioles slugger Mark Reynolds having a very unfortunate visual deficiency. It got me thinking.

Baltimore Orioles first baseman/designated hitter/occasional disastrous right fielder Chris Davis is off to an unbelievable start to the 2013 season. Through 14 games and 58 humble plate appearances, Davis is slugging a comical .784 with 20 RBI and 6 dingers. In 2011, split between Texas and Baltimore, Davis drove in 18 runs and hit 5 dingers over 210 plate appearances. Last year, he broke out in a full season with the O’s, blasting 33 home runs and driving in 85. He’s always had big time raw power, but it’s never translated to this extent.  So what changed? What has changed about Chris Davis that has turned him into a true middle-of-the-order threat? 

It had to be something subtle, I pondered. He hasn’t developed a new approach or magically acquired improved hand-eye coordination to help reduce the strikeouts. I believe Chris Davis has actually eliminated a part of his game in order to improve his performance.

After nearly a full 10 minutes of research, I’ve concluded that Chris Davis has decided to stop blinking. It seems hard to comprehend, but the evidence is overwhelming. Let’s take a look back at Davis’ days as a Texas Ranger.

Here are some conveniently timed screenshots of Chris Davis participating in interviews as a Ranger:

blink 1  blink 5

Here is Chris Davis blinking, or being a pervert:

blink 3

Here is Chris Davis blinking in front of his locker (notice his abysmal numbers through 45 games):

blink 6

Here is a frustrated Chris Davis blinking:

blink 4

Here is Chris Davis blinking after hitting a home run:

blink 2

Here is Chris Davis probably blinking:

blink 7

***

So we’ve identified the problem. Has Davis really fixed this horrendous flaw in his game?

Here is Chris Davis not blinking as two female fans admire his biceps:

Here is Chris Davis showcasing his new and improved eternal stare:

Here is Chris Davis not blinking while being interviewed during spring training:

Here is Chris Davis shirtless and still not blinking:

“You thought I was gonna blink, right? Wrong.”

I rest my case, your honor.