Happy Darvish Day ! (Start #19)

It’s been a while since I did one of these, so it felt right to bring it back tonight as Darvish is coming off the DL to face the Yankees at home. Despite missing a few starts due to injury, Darvish is tied for the major league lead in strikeouts with 157 in 119.1 innings. Tonight, he will face a desecrated Yankees lineup and should be able to strike out Luis Cruz more than once. In case you forgot how fantastic Yu is, here’s a refresher:

Continue reading

Happy Darvish Day ! (Start #11)

What?

Last week, Yu Darvish had arguably his worst start of the year, giving up one run and striking out six over 6 innings against Oakland. Today, he’ll be in Arizona facing the Diamondbacks in Game 1 of a particularly strange double-header.

Continue reading

You Searched What?

If it weren’t for WordPress’ advanced statistics, we would sit around all day and ponder about how many people from Algeria have ever read the blog (it’s 9 by the way). One particularly great feature of WordPress is that we can see the Google search terms that lead people to CFB.

The top three searches are pretty expected.

Duh. But if you look a bit lower down the list, you’ll find some funky ones. They all fall into three very specific categories.

  • Chris Davis fetishes
  • Random shit
  • Questions we cannot answer

Continue reading

Happy Darvish Day ! (Start #8)

Yu Darvish will start this evening against the Houston Astros. Last time Darvish faced Houston, he was one out away from a perfect game. Since it’s Yu Darvish and since it’s Houston, we can pretty much expect the same thing. So get pumped. Here are three professional Japanese hitters that had absolutely no chance against Yu’s four-seam fastball.

Ugh, kilometers, I know. That’s 97 MPH.

A Brief Examination of Death By Yu Darvish

私はいじめっ子です

As if the Internet hasn’t freaked out about Yu Darvish enough over the last 24 hours, I’m back to take a look at two of Darvish’s victims from his days in Japan. Since half the world’s population has already seen this .gif (as they should), I’ve decided to take a different route.

When Darvish came over last year, we all scurried to our computers or mobile devices to watch some video of the half Japanese, half Iranian freak show of awesomeness. It did not disappoint. While scouring said video, I came across two strikeout victims of Darvish’s that stood out to me.  Let’s take a look.

VICTIM 1:

Darvish unleashes a true 80-grade slider to an innocent batter who simply collapses while attempting to make contact. This is a batter that probably has a wife and kids. Those beloved assumed family members had to watch him fall victim to this torturous sin of a pitch. His back leg straight up dies on him and then the rest of his embarrassed body goes down with it. I enjoy the catcher receiving the pitch and then turning away as if to avoid looking at the dumbfounded batter…or he got hit in the nuts. I can’t really tell. Anyway, I love this. But it’s not nearly as awesome as this next one.

VICTIM 2:

Darvish throws a 90 MPH fastball Up and In and the batter swings, quite literally, for his life. The fact that it wasn’t actually that close to his head makes this even better. Let’s just imagine the thoughts of each human being involved in this beautiful sequence.

  • Darvish: Okay, he wants up and in. I can do that.
  • Catcher: Up and in, Yu. Right here.
  • Batter: oh my god oh my god oh my god what am I gonna do
  • Umpire: how the hell am I supposed to call this guy
  • Darvish: *goes into windup*
  • Batter: okay man you got this just go into your leg kick and
  • Darvish: *releases ball*
  • Batter: DEAR GOD WHAT THE SHIT  *swings* *dies*
  • Catcher: *catches pitch* whoops
  • Umpire: uhhh is he breathing
  • Darvish: *sheepishly touches back of head* hehe I’m Yu Darvish
  • Batter: *is still dead*

***

Daily Darvish. Get some.

.gifs From Last Night: Yu Darvish Breaks Mike Trout

Rangers-Angels

  • First of all, lol.
  • I’m legitimately unsure how this pitch is even possible coming from a someone that isn’t a bad high school pitcher or Barry Zito by accident.
  • Watch the guy second from the left of the chyron in the black jacket and black hat. As he sees the pitch drop into Pierzynski’s glove, he turns away slightly as if he just witnessed something literally disgusting.
  • The umpire clearly took immense pleasure in ringing Trout up on a pitch that looks frighteningly similar to Bugs Bunny’s trickery.

Stay tuned for more Darvish .gifs. Later today, I’ll examine his most vicious attacks on two unfortunate Japanese hitters.