Dad Goes Yard: A Baseball Journey

“Heroes get remembered, but legends never die.” – Sandlot.

Every baseball career is, at some point, supposed to come to an end. For my dad, that year was 1978. After his senior year on the JFK High School varsity baseball team, he knew that he would probably never step back onto the diamond for a competitive game of ball. He knew it was time to hang em up and focus on things he was way better at. It turns out that Richard Mintz’s career wasn’t over that fateful day in 1978. He would have one last moment in the sun.

Hall of Fame Bound

I play for a baseball team called the Tenleytown Brewers. We play in an adult wood bat baseball league in the Washington DC Area. We have a roster of about 15 guys, but most nights we usually scrape by with nine dudes. The teams we play consist of guys trying to hold on to their dreams, which is equally depressing as it is entertaining. Last night was Saturday night, and considering that the majority of our roster is made up of guys in their early to mid 20’s who had better things to be doing on a Saturday night, we were short a player.

I called our coach, RJ, who also happens to be our third baseman and relief pitcher, to see if my dad would be needed to fill in as our ninth guy. He texted back: “We. Need. Richard.” So I gave dad the biggest pair of baseball pants I could find and we hopped in the car and drove out to McLean, VA.

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Buxton Watch: 15 Days To Go

As some of you may know, Jake and I are going on a trip this summer. The beginning of that trip includes driving approximately 13 hours over two days on a magical quest to see Twins uber-prospect Byron Buxton play against the Clinton LumberKings in Clinton, Iowa on Monday, July 8th.There’s one problem: Buxton is way way way too good for the Midwest League. Through 67 games, Buxton is triple-slashing .34o/.429/.555. He’s also stolen 32 bases, drawn 43 walks and scored 67 runs. He’s too good, and he should be promoted.

Last week was the Midwest League All-Star break. It was assumed by most prospect enthusiasts that Buxton would be promoted to High-A Fort Myers after the break. By some miracle (see what I did there (they’re the Fort Myers Miracle)), Buxton remains in Cedar Rapids. Since the break, Buxton is 3-12 with three walks and three stolen bases. Last night, he hit his ninth triple of the year.

After his non-promotion, Twins assistant GM Rob Antony said “it won’t be long” before Buxton is bumped up.

Basically, as much as we love Buxton demoralizing Low-A competition, we’re desperately hoping that he remains at the level for three more weeks before heading off to the Florida State League. If he gets promoted, we’ll see be able to see guys like Max Kepler, Gabriel Guerrero, and such at Clinton, but the experience of seeing Buxton in person is something that could not be topped.

So I’m gonna be posting a daily update of what Buxton did the night before. Let’s cross our fingers for a sudden slump. The Buxton Watch begins.

15 Days To Go.

Puigseases

Recently, terms like Puigmania and Puigsanity have floated around the inter-webs. These conditions are serious and must be taken completely seriously. While not deadly, all Puig-related diseases are extremely contagious. Here is a real list of other “Puig-seases” to watch out for.

Puig-arrhea: Symptoms include an uncontrollable urge to release Puigs in various places.

Puig-abetes: Watch how much Puig you intake because it could effect your blood sugar.

The Chicken Puigs: Tiny Puigs will break out all over your body. Don’t scratch unless you want scars.

ADHPuig: You won’t be able to pay attention to anyone else but Puig.

O-Puig-sity: Nearly two thirds of Americans suffer from this. It’s only getting worse.

Scarlet Puig-ver: If you have heat flashes that only Cuban athletes can satisfy, seek immediate help.

Puig-raines:  A splitting Puig-ache. You have a constant need to swing at the first thing that comes anywhere near you.

Puig-atosis: You breath will start to smell like Puig. And that’s something nobody wants to be around.

Puig-monia: You’ll be vomiting up Puigs for days. Highly unpleasant.

Puig-ingitis: Little Puigs crawl up and down your spinal cord and swing violently at each vertebrae as if they’re first pitch fastballs.

Her-Puigs: It’s exactly what you think it is, and it’s awful. Use protection.

Puig-rectile Dysfunction (PD): If you have a Puig longer than four hours, contact your doctor.

NEW CHRIS DAVIS SHIRTLESS PICS

So I was at my grandfather’s house the other day cleaning up some of his old stuff in the basement. As I sifted through piles of aged rubbish, I couldn’t help but think that there might be something valuable for me to find. Lo and behold, under a pile of 30 year old pharmacy receipts, I found something wonderful. Something incoherently perfect. Something bold, beautiful, and bicep-laden. I found new Chris Davis photos. Total coincidence that he hit two bombs today. Drool at your own safety.

This pic shows Davis in peak physical shape; his 8-pac bulging out of his Thor-like chest.

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Ben and Jerry’s MLB Flavors

Everyone loves ice cream and more specifically, everyone loves Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. Over the years Ben and Jerry have come up with countless revolutionary flavors. Cherry Garcia, Imagine Whirled Peace, and even a Dexter themed ice cream called Miami Slice. One area B&J’s totally forgot about was baseball, so we decided that we would do it for them. Here are some of the best ones we came up with:

Black Razz-Barry Bonds

-Raspberry Ice Cream with chocolate syrup swirls and chunks of OBP.

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Highlighting the Worst Hats In Baseball: Round Two

GURL

EY GURL

Oh god this trailer. Just Scorsese, and Kanye, and Leo, and McConaughey. Man that looks…… Wait, baseballs. So, unlike Round One, which was just a celebration of terrible things, all future rounds will be for one specific team (unless I get bored,  until I get bored). So then, through the magic of random pickings, today, we get none other than the Mets. LET’S GET TO THE HATS.

Hello, MS Paint

New York Mets MLB C-Dub 59FIFTY (100% Wool, $35)

Conceptually, this hat is fine. Simple red wool hat with a white logo. But then it gets made, and man that logo is garish. Like made by a 13 year old in GIMP who only knows what the outline of the logo is. The white on white look here is just really bad, and takes away from what could be an average hat.

So This Is A Thing

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These Cleats Are Made For Walking: Puig Approaches

This has been a fun journey this year, keeping track of walk totals on a weekly basis. It gives me an unexplained amount of joy to check FanGraphs on Monday mornings to see who’s been impatient this past week. Yasiel Puig, an undeniable fan of CFB, has clearly taken note of this and has decided to pitch in by allowing me to use his name, Yasiel Puig, in this post.

Thanks, Yasiel Puig. Thank you for not being unintentionally walked once through your first 50 major league plate appearances.

We’ll obviously be watching Yasiel Puig, like the rest of the world, in his KeppQuest to walkless nirvana.

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