Cespedes Family Preview: The Tiebreaker

RAYS!

RANGERS!!!

162 games have deemed themselves irrelevant as the fate of two baseballing establishments boils down (really a gross phrase if you think about it) to one night. If you were looking for legitimate analysis, you clicked on the wrong link bud. Instead, we gave you some funny pictures:

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Dragon Darvish

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Episode 9: PUNTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s just another Manic Monday, which means Barbecast 9 is here to be consumed by some undetermined number of humans. Our special guest is Stevo Sama of death metal fame and fortune as well as his baseball knowledge. You can see some rather vile pictures of Stevo below. He was fantastic and we had no idea what references he was making the whole time. Follow him @yoshiki89. He also bLOLgs about basebLOL at http://xtrabasehit.blogspot.com/. Excuse the plus-plus technical difficulties. Our e-mails include the return of Little Poop, a discussion about our baseball cabinet and debating freedom…or something. Baseball talk includes a long discussion about tiebreakers and our ideas to improve them and make them more entertaining. This of course is significantly less relevant now that the three-way tie can’t happen, but it’s still a fun discussion mostly revolving around Tropicana Field. Our new segment is TALES FROM LOGDOG featuring everyone’s favorite, Lana Berry. We talked for like five minutes and it was almost funny. Thanks for listening <3

Tweeterz: https://twitter.com/CespedesBBQ

Dat facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/CespedesFamilyBBQ

iTunes link (RATE AND REVIEW AND SUBSCRIBE AND STUFF): https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/cespedes-family-barbecue-cespedes/id683535357

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Minnesota Twins Opening Day 2014 Starting Lineup

Sure, the Twins’ 2013 season just ended. But we’ve already received an exclusive look at their starting lineup for next season’s Opening Day match-up in Chicago against the White Sox.

YOUR 2014 Minnesota Twins:

2B Chance Moore

SS Juan Laricio

DH Melt Marlo

1B Chub Smith

LF Carlos Duran-Duran

3B Larry Coriander

RF Tanke Jones

CF Lazlo Holloway

C Max Rosario

STARTING PITCHER: Caleb Thielbar

Manager: Ralph Snow

All The Fantastic “Angels In the Outfield” .gifs

My favorite movie ever is Angels in the Outfield. It reminds me of when I was 6 years old and my biggest concern was whether or not Delino DeShields got a hit that day. I recently re-watched and .gifed all the best parts. There are two categories: Triscuitt Messmer and not Triscuitt Messmer.

NOT TRISCUITT MESSMER

George Knox is done with your shenanigans. He’s also done with the post-game spread. Also, what are those red plastics cups doing in the clubhouse? Maybe the Angels sucked in the beginning of the movie because they were too busy partying like teenagers. 

This how we all feel when we watch Jose Fernandez. Angels goofball pitcher Whit Bass must have seen into the future or something. Also of note: another player on the Angels with a fish name. First Whit Bass, then Tim Salmon, and now Chris Iannetta. 

Triscuitt Messmer

Okay so basically the Angels catcher Triscuitt Messmer is the best thing ever. It’s a Japhet Amador body but behind the dish. He has the social skills of Zack Greinke with Asperger’s and the accent of a bleacher creature. The base running is easily base-clogger status, but his #want is off the charts. Let’s take a closer look at Triscuitt… (also, his name is Triscuitt) 

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What Should We Rename The Indians?

There has been a lot of discussion recently about the Washington football team’s name, which is Redskins. Many believe it to be derogatory, demeaning, and altogether not a good thang. Some think its fine, like incoherent word user Dick Rick Reilly. I don’t have an opinion on that gobbledegook, but here’s how I see it: if the Redskins have to change their name, then the Indians should have to as well. It’s just as bad, if not worse.

So now that we (who is we? I never know) have decided to rename the Indians, what should we rename them? It needs to be something catchy…something cool…something that can sell tons of merchandise. With that in mind, these are my suggestions:

The Cleveland Cleavage 

Pros:

  • They could become the first baseball team with cheerleaders.
  • Attendance has been down in Cleveland this year. A name change to the Cleavage would significantly boost attendance.
  • Team gear would be awesome.
  • Most Americans are particularly fond of alliteration.

Cons:

  • It would be harder to sign oversized first basemen who might feel uncomfortable about the name change.
  • The team logo could be misinterpreted as “inappropriate” or “not child friendly” considering it looks like boobs.
  • It might get a little overheated and sweaty.
  • The name itself doesn’t really have anything to do with the city of Cleveland.

The Cleveland Chisenhalls

Pros:

  • Cleveland’s mascot has been named after one of its best players many times. The Naps after Nap Lajoie, the Spiders after legendary shortstop Itsy-Bitsy Spider, and the Indians afterr Ghandi.
  • They could keep their current, non-racist uniform set. The C’s on the hats would stand for both Cleveland and Chisenhall.
  • Lonnie Chisenhall might finally start hitting.

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Episode 8: Lana Banana Like Hannah Montana

EPISODE OCHO has arrived and it is probably my favorite episode we’ve ever done. Our super special guest is Lana Berry. If you don’t know who that is then you aren’t reading this because you couldn’t possibly be on the Internet. You can follow Lana @lana but you already knew that. We talked for way too long about Lance Berkman, advice for college, and other baseball related nonsense #followlogdog. Our e-mail segment was longer than ever and we got some good ones. Topics included the Amish Red Sox (see below), Old Man Jake, annoying spelling rules and family Poop talk. Baseball talk was brief due to reasons explained during the podcast. Our musical guest is ALL OF THE IPHONE RINGTONES. No, seriously. Enjoy and thanks for listening <3

Dat facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/CespedesFamilyBBQ

Tweeterz: https://twitter.com/CespedesBBQ

iTunes link (SUBSCRIBE AND RATE AND REVIEW US YEAH): https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/cespedes-family-barbecue-cespedes/id683535357

Click here for the RSS feed

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