Episode 18: Jedd Gyorko, America’s Dad

Yeah, it happened. We made it to our age. It’s the 18th Barbecast featuring Scott Weber of Lookout Landing and some variation of Jedd Gyorko. We talked to Scott about HOLY SHIT THE MARINERS ARE GONNA SIGN ROBINSON CANO and then spent too much time on Justin Smoak and the rest of the Mariners team. We also interviewed Mark Ling for the second time, the mastermind behind the Sacramento RiverCats Twitter account. He PWND the Reno Aces earlier this week so we asked him about being soulless and awesome. Tales from LogDog with Lana Berry covered Lana’s Hall of Fame Ballot but not THAT Hall of Fame Ballot. E-mails were above-average and that’s all you get to know. And OF COURSE we had another baseball-reference name war IN WHICH WE BOTH PICKED A TURKEY. Thanks for listening <3

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Link to all previous podcasts: https://cespedesfamilybarbecue.com/the-barbecast-cfb-podcast/

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Detroit Tigers Top 10 Shirseys

Click here to read a primer on our shirsey rankings. 

Click here to read the Tigers BP Top 10 Prospects.

Dontrelle, Shelton, and Perry write-ups are courtesy of Matt Sussman, our most recent special guest on the Barbecast. He is funny and you should like him. Follow him on Twitter @suss2hyphens.

Thompson and Thames write-ups are courtesy of Jordan Gorosh, our good friend over at TigersProspectReport. Go follow him too if you like hearing about what Eugenio Suarez is up to. 

System Quote: “You know, tigers are very unpredictable.”

Tigers Top Ten:

  1. Dontrelle Willis
  2. Horseman
  3. Dmitri Young
  4. Justin Thompson
  5. Joel Zumaya
  6. Chris Shelton
  7. Kenny Rogers
  8. Travis Fryman
  9. Ryan Perry
  10. Marcus Thames

Screen Shot 2013-11-29 at 8.45.28 PM

1. Dontrelle Willis

Size: M

 Current Status: Owned by Jake

 Website: Jake’s drawers

 Price: One million pesos

 eBay Description: “Very good shape”

 The Tools: 7 derp; 7 awesomeness; 4 player obscurity; 6 design/color scheme; questionable price

What Happened to the Player in 2013: Ended his brief retirement to sign minor-league contracts with the Cubs and Angels, with the Long Island Ducks in between. He still walks many batters.

Strengths: Great nickname (D-Train), great leg kick (D-Train Kick), was once a 22-game winner and the Rookie of the Year.

Weaknesses: Large amounts of cash causes him to break out in hives.

Overall Future Potential: 7; the potential of wearing a Dontrelle Willis original can be a positive experience. You can tell strangers “I saw one of his two Tigers wins in person.” (I did, but I do not have this shirt.) If the anecdote is successfully turned, you will become the life of the party that you most certainly crashed.

Realistic Role: 6; you can cut two additional holes into the shirt and make a dog shirt. A Dogtrelle Willis shirt.

Risk Factor/Injury History: Given that Willis’ DL trips in Detroit were officially because of “anxiety disorder,” that really makes this a melancholy shirt. It’s sad when a pitcher is sad and doesn’t pitch well, because preferably our pitchers have control issues grounded in funnier reasons, such as rattled by the core concept of “The Human Centipede,” or distracted by the pitching coach’s mustache or flatulence.

The Year Ahead: Quite possibly another spring training invite, because he’s Dontrelle freaking Willis and you’re not. Kick that leg to the skies.

Wardrobe ETA: 2018,

on his second comeback attempt with the Tigers.

Screen Shot 2013-11-29 at 8.47.02 PM2. Horseman

Size: XXL

 Current Status: Available for purchase

 Website: eBay

 Price: $14.96

 eBay Description: “Detroit Tigers #4 Four Horseman T-Shirt Jersey Sz XXL”

 The Tools: 7 derp; 4 awesomeness; 8 player obscurity; 6 design/color scheme; 5 price

What Happened to the Player in 2013: His lower, horse-ier half began to deteriorate, but his upper, more human side continued to grow ever so stronger.

Strengths: Custom shirseys that make their way onto the glorious utopia that is the eBay marketplace always sport at least plus-plus derp. Hopefully this belonged to a Tigers fan who wore a horse’s head to every game.

Weaknesses: Someone might take your name too literally and find a way to chop off your head. The number 4 on the back raises serious questions about whether there are three other horsemen running around. Previous owner may have been murdered and placed in someone’s bed, Karthoum style.

Overall Future Potential: Low 6; the elite derp offers a legit ceiling.

Realistic Role: 4; too many questions from your friends.

Risk Factor/Injury History: High; dependent on both horse and man.

The Year Ahead: Will do man things. Will do horse things as well.

Wardrobe ETA: When the horseman cometh.

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Episode 17: Light A Mupnorah

WARNING: This is probably our messiest Barbecast yet…but it’s a fun one. We literally lit the Hanukkah candles on the podcast. What more do you want? You can blame the weird audio quality on Jake’s microphone this time, and NOT on my internet.  Anyway, our special guest this week is Matt Sussman, one of the 38 funniest people on Twitter. We talked to him about a bunch of Detroit Tigers related stuff and his first ever joke. After that, Amanda Rykoff came on to talk about her ridiculously awesome experience in Curacao and how legendary Wladimir Balentien is. We recorded the e-mail segment with Jake’s mother and she provided plus-plus motherly commentary throughout. Tales from Logdog with Lana Berry covered some FOOTBALL YES FOOTBALL as well as where the hell Shelby Miller has been (SPOILER ALERT: HE GOT MARRIED). Oh, and of course we had another ridiculous baseball-reference name war. Sorry about the ending. Thanks for listening <3

iTunes link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/cespedes-family-barbecue-cespedes/id683535357

Link to all previous podcasts: https://cespedesfamilybarbecue.com/the-barbecast-cfb-podcast/

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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CespedesFamilyBBQ

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