As we’ve chronicled before on this site, Jose Bautista follows a whole lot of people on twitter dot com. So yesterday I had an idea: create a fake account and see how long it took to get Joey Bats to follow me. The answer? One god damned day.
#THELEGENDOFRICKSHAWMOOSEFOOT
Because one huge post and constant tweets weren’t enough, we’ve got an entire episode devoted to the most important rivalry in CFBBQ history. To help moderate our debate and provide a remarkably neutral perspective on the issue, we invited Bill Hanstock of SB Nation and Progressive Boink fame. He shared his personal experiences with both, his favorite Kelly/Avril songs, and explains how he deals with the whole Nickelback thing. We took a break from Kelly/Avril content to do our weekly b-ref battle in which I used a name that I’ve used before but I didn’t realize I did. I’m sorry :( Tales from Logdog with Lana Berry was the lowpoint in the show for me, as Lana thoroughly embarrassed me with her enthusiastic failure to understand why I love Avril so much. Props to Logdog. We concluded with a summary of our feelings and why Kelly/Avril is so important to the BBQ in the first place. Our Kelly/Avril e-mails were also wonderful, and we appreciate those that contributed their equally passionate opinions. Thanks for listening <3
iTunes link (rate and review us! seriously!): https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/cespedes-family-barbecue-cespedes/id683535357
Link to all previous podcasts: https://cespedesfamilybarbecue.com/the-barbecast-cfb-podcast/
Tweeterz: https://twitter.com/CespedesBBQ
Barbecast 28 coming soon…
As you may or may not know, Joey Bautista follows over 147,000 people on Twitter. Following someone on Twitter usually means that you are interested in what they have to say. I hope for Joey’s sake that this is not the case for his account. Here are some of Bautista’s best follows of the last couple weeks:
This one makes a bit of sense seeing as baseball “his life.” You’d think a true baseball fan would be wearing a baseball shirsey in his header photo. He’s also quite the friendly lad, offering up his phone number for all of those who have yet to meet Mr. Blow-Me.
Welcome to Barbecast 27, the Mike Trout Is the Greatest Player of All Time and Wears No. 27 edition. Our special guest this week is the Mariners beat writer for the Seattle Times, Ryan Divish. We talked to Ryan about Robinson Cano ACTUALLY BEING ON THE MARINERS, how unbelievably slow Jesus Montero is, Felix’s neck tattoo, Dustin Ackley’s off-season hobbies, Geoff Baker’s piece on the Mariners dysfunction, AND MORE. Our b-ref battle was a good one; it featured one of the more spectacularly contradicting names we’ve ever heard. Our e-mail segment was 94% Disney Princess talk. Tales from Logdog was definitely not nearly as good the second time around (oh yeah, Jake deleted a lot so we had to re-record some), so we apologize for that. And finally, Jake’s Varsity Baseball Update is the most eventful one we’ve had in months. Thanks for listening <3
Musical guest: http://sandrider.bandcamp.com/
iTunes link (rate and review us! seriously!): https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/cespedes-family-barbecue-cespedes/id683535357
Link to all previous podcasts: https://cespedesfamilybarbecue.com/the-barbecast-cfb-podcast/
Tweeterz: https://twitter.com/CespedesBBQ
Since the vote was revealed last month, constant discussions and arguments over who should and shouldn’t have been voted into the Baseball Hall of Fame have occurred. A large portion of our internet compadres believe this year’s class of Greg Maddux, Tom Glavine, and Frank Thomas was far too small. Clearly, many other deserving candidates belong in the Hall. People are starting to worry if some of these superstars are ever going to make it into the Hall of Fame. We decided to speed things up.
What follows is somewhat inspired by an old Jeff Sullivan tweet.
Barry Bonds could always just visit the Hall of Fame and stand in it and tell people about himself and never leave
— Jeff Sullivan (@LookoutLanding) November 28, 2012
(Note: former podcast guest Scott Weber now runs Lookout Landing, so it looks like he wrote the tweet. But he didn’t. He’s not that funny.)
What a brilliant idea. Barry Bonds should probably just go to the Hall of Fame. Unfortunately, he’s too busy biking and holding adorable dogs. Luckily, we can just put him, along with the large group of other deserving candidates, into the Hall of Fame.
Let’s fix this mess.
Craig Biggio, Mike Piazza, and Barry Bonds finally made it to the Hall of Fame. Piazza looks exhausted.
Tim Raines stands confidently inside the Hall of Fame. Slammin’ Sammy is jumping for joy because he’s finally in the Hall of Fame.
A young Barry Bonds casually leans against a pillar inside the Hall of Fame. An even younger Sammy Sosa and Piazza pretend they’re still in the big leagues. Jeff Bagwell is relaxing on a bench in the Hall of Fame. Edgar Martinez has fallen and he can’t get up…but at least he’s in the Hall of Fame.
We’re back! After some time to recover from the insanity of Barbecast 25, we’re here with another obnoxiously long podcast. Our special guest this week is Eno Sarris, finally. Eno writes for all the baseball websites and loves beer. So we talked about beer. And baseball. He also talked about Darwin Barney calling him a nerd. We were also lucky to talk to Matt Clark, another PROFESSIONAL BASEBALL PLAYER who spent 2013 in Japan for the Chunichi Dragons. We discussed Matt’s career to this point and heard some stories about his time in the minor leagues. Matt is particularly unique in that HE HAS MET LANA BERRY IN REAL LIFE. And of course, Tales from Logdog’s triumphant return was as crazy as ever, and managed to include two more special guests. Then, we talked to Siri. Yeah, that Siri. Our baseball-reference battle was another fun one, and we received another extremely strong crop of e-mails that we greatly appreciate. You guys are funnier than we are. Also, I AM SO SORRY ABOUT THE MUSIC. Thanks for listening <3
iTunes link (rate and review us! seriously!): https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/cespedes-family-barbecue-cespedes/id683535357
Link to all previous podcasts: https://cespedesfamilybarbecue.com/the-barbecast-cfb-podcast/
Tweeterz: https://twitter.com/CespedesBBQ
Click here to read a primer on our shirsey rankings.
Wood, Quade, Starlin, Prior, and Campana write-ups are courtesy of Brett Taylor of Bleacher Nation. He knows a few things about the Cubs. We like him. Follow him on Twitter @BleacherNation.
1. Kerry Wood Tank TopSize: L
Current Status: Available for purchase
Website: eBay
Price: $14.99
eBay Description: “A brand-new, unused, unopened, undamaged item ”
The Tools: 7 derp; 6 awesomeness; 3 player obscurity; 5 design/color scheme; 5+ price
What Happened to the Player in 2013: Kerry Wood would carry wood.
Strengths: This tank is like a mullet in both directions – it’s a party in the front and the back. Additional strengths include: breathability, armpit exposability, possible see-through-ability.
Weaknesses: The tank is technically for women, which means you – the man who has clearly purchased it for yourself – may have to explain the fit. But, you know what? If a little of your midriff shows, the squares’ll just have to deal. You didn’t develop a gut that looks like a bowling ball is trying to escape from your belly button for nothing. You earned this moment.
Overall Future Potential: Borderline 6; hit the weights for a few years, and this tank will be the only thing standing between you and the many ladies of your dreams.
Realistic Role: 4; worn around the house when no clean shirts can be found, or if ah-what-the-hell-it’s-at-the-top-of-the-pile.
Risk Factor/Injury History: High; the shoulder areas, while tastefully slim to maximize tan lines and shoulder hair expression, are rather thin. Tearing, and forcible toga-ing, are a serious concern.
The Year Ahead: There will be so much beer spilled on the front of this tank it’ll look like the cub bear in the logo isn’t house-trained. But that’s really the message you’re going for anyway: you can’t tame a wild beast.
2. Green SamardzijaSize: M
Current Status: No longer available
Website: eBay
Price: $8.99 + $5.95 Shipping
eBay Description: “Would be a great Retro wear, or collectible, you decide.”
The Tools: 6+ derp; 5+ awesomeness; 5+ player obscurity; 6 design/color scheme; 6 price
What Happened to the Player in 2013: Trade rumors weren’t the only thing swirling around Jeff’s head as he fell off his bike and saw cartoon stars a couple of times last year.
Strengths: Highest scoring name in scrabble in all of MLB. Perfect color scheme for Christmas or that Mexican pride parade or that Italian pride parade and probably nothing else ever.
Weaknesses: Green shirseys for players without any semblance of Irish heritage is just plain old stupid. Unless its for the A’s.
Overall Future Potential: 6; you’ll be the coolest guy in parties when you make everyone pronounce the name on your back.
Realistic Role: 5; those parties won’t be fun.
Risk Factor/Injury History: High; who knows what could happen when so many letters are involved? DANGEROUS.
The Year Ahead: Sam R. Juh might get traded. He also might not. One thing’s for sure: his hair will stay wilder than a lion’s roar.
Wardrobe ETA: When you can spell Samardzija without looking.
Unless you live in a cave or in North Korea, you probably know that the Winter Olympics are going on right now in Sochi, Russia. While there are 88 different countries participating, there seems to be one country receiving less media attention than the rest: Cuba. Sure, there have been some political kerfuffles, and yes, it’s not that cold in the Caribbean, but the Cuban national Olympic team deserves more recognition. Don’t worry peons, the BBQ is here to offer up unmatched coverage of all things Cuba:
Free agent Kendrys Morales takes some time off from contract negotiations and hits the slopes in the downhill for Team Cuba
Our hero Yoenis Cespedes and his partner Leonys Martin go for the Flying Lotus in figure skating pairs
New White Sox slugger Jose Dariel Abreu catches some air in the men’s ski jumping competition. Who needs a helmet anyway?
Martin, Yasiel Puig, and Yuniesky Betancourt get down and dirty on the ice. Yuni is bringing up the rear of course
It’s a long time coming peoples. We present to you the Cespedes Family Barbecue Online Merch Shop, the perfect place for all your CFBBQ needs:
CESPEDES FAMILY BARBECUE 