Chicago Cubs Top 10 Shirseys

Click here to read a primer on our shirsey rankings. 

Click here to read all of our other shirsey lists. 
Click here to read the Cubs BP Top 10 Prospects.

 

Wood, Quade, Starlin, Prior, and Campana write-ups are courtesy of Brett Taylor of Bleacher Nation. He knows a few things about the Cubs. We like him. Follow him on Twitter @BleacherNation. 

System Quote: “106 years is like, a long time.”

Cubs Top Ten:

  1. Kerry Wood Tank Top
  2. Green Samardzija
  3. Mike Quade
  4. Neon Starlin
  5. Mark Prior
  6. Tony Campana
  7. Carlos Marmol
  8. Sammy Sosa
  9. Bryan LaHair
  10. Ryan Theriot

Screen Shot 2014-02-03 at 4.02.43 PM1. Kerry Wood Tank Top

Size: L

 Current Status: Available for purchase

 Website: eBay

 Price: $14.99

 eBay Description: “A brand-new, unused, unopened, undamaged item ”

 The Tools: 7 derp; 6 awesomeness; 3 player obscurity; 5 design/color scheme; 5+ price

What Happened to the Player in 2013: Kerry Wood would carry wood.

Strengths: This tank is like a mullet in both directions – it’s a party in the front and the back. Additional strengths include: breathability, armpit exposability, possible see-through-ability.

Weaknesses: The tank is technically for women, which means you – the man who has clearly purchased it for yourself – may have to explain the fit. But, you know what? If a little of your midriff shows, the squares’ll just have to deal. You didn’t develop a gut that looks like a bowling ball is trying to escape from your belly button for nothing. You earned this moment.

Overall Future Potential: Borderline 6; hit the weights for a few years, and this tank will be the only thing standing between you and the many ladies of your dreams.

Realistic Role: 4; worn around the house when no clean shirts can be found, or if ah-what-the-hell-it’s-at-the-top-of-the-pile.

Risk Factor/Injury History: High; the shoulder areas, while tastefully slim to maximize tan lines and shoulder hair expression, are rather thin. Tearing, and forcible toga-ing, are a serious concern.

The Year Ahead: There will be so much beer spilled on the front of this tank it’ll look like the cub bear in the logo isn’t house-trained. But that’s really the message you’re going for anyway: you can’t tame a wild beast.

Wardrobe ETA: As soon as someone needs directions to the gun show.

Screen Shot 2014-02-03 at 4.07.05 PM2. Green Samardzija

Size: M

 Current Status: No longer available

 Website: eBay

 Price: $8.99 + $5.95 Shipping

 eBay Description: “Would be a great Retro wear, or collectible, you decide.”

 The Tools: 6+ derp; 5+ awesomeness; 5+ player obscurity; 6 design/color scheme; 6 price

What Happened to the Player in 2013: Trade rumors weren’t the only thing swirling around Jeff’s head as he fell off his bike and saw cartoon stars a couple of times last year.

Strengths: Highest scoring name in scrabble in all of  MLB. Perfect color scheme for Christmas or that Mexican pride parade or that Italian pride parade and probably nothing else ever.

Weaknesses: Green shirseys for players without any semblance of Irish heritage is just plain old stupid. Unless its for the A’s.

Overall Future Potential: 6; you’ll be the coolest guy in parties when you make everyone pronounce the name on your back.

Realistic Role: 5; those parties won’t be fun.

Risk Factor/Injury History: High; who knows what could happen when so many letters are involved? DANGEROUS.

The Year Ahead: Sam R. Juh might get traded. He also might not. One thing’s for sure: his hair will stay wilder than a lion’s roar.

Wardrobe ETA: When you can spell Samardzija without looking.

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Team Cuba Takes Sochi

Unless you live in a cave or in North Korea, you probably know that the Winter Olympics are going on right now in Sochi, Russia. While there are 88 different countries participating, there seems to be one country receiving less media attention than the rest: Cuba. Sure, there have been some political kerfuffles, and yes, it’s not that cold in the Caribbean, but the Cuban national Olympic team deserves more recognition. Don’t worry peons, the BBQ is here to offer up unmatched coverage of all things Cuba:

Downhill Skiing

Cuba Downill

Free agent Kendrys Morales takes some time off from contract negotiations and hits the slopes in the downhill for Team Cuba

Figure Skating

Cuba Ice Skating

Our hero Yoenis Cespedes and his partner Leonys Martin go for the Flying Lotus in figure skating pairs

Ski Jumping

Cuba Ski Jump

 New White Sox slugger Jose Dariel Abreu catches some air in the men’s ski jumping competition. Who needs a helmet anyway?

Speed Skating

Cuban Speed Skating

Martin, Yasiel Puig, and Yuniesky Betancourt get down and dirty on the ice. Yuni is bringing up the rear of course

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Pitchers React to Barry Bonds

So you might not have heard, but I’m a big fan of Barry Bonds. Last month, I wrote about my 25 favorite Barry Bonds facts for Michael Clair’s blogathon. This time, I did very little writing at all.

Something fun to watch on home run replays is the victimized pitcher’s immediate reaction. I quickly found that pitchers who gave up monstrous home runs to Barry Bonds had a fascinatingly wide range of reactions.

MLB.com recently added video of every single home run that Barry Bonds hit into McCovey Cove, as well as all of his milestone home runs. Naturally, I went back and watched all of them once or a thousand times, and I observed the humans around Barry Bonds the instant he hit the dinger.

These are their stories (in a series of blurry screenshots).

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bb1

bb18

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