As you may or may not know, I am on the college baseball team at Washington University in St. Louis. For the conference tournament, the entire league makes its way down to Sanford, Florida for a week of sun, Tinder pranks, and baseball.
My teammate Brad Margolin has a dad. Brad’s dad has a camera and a happy trigger finger. This means that Brad’s dad successfully documented an entire week’s-worth of derpy photos. These are those derp photos for your viewing and hopefully, laughing pleasure.
(For more on “derp”, please visit our friends at Productive Outs, the heroes who popularized this phrase.)
The “I’ve Been On The Toilet For 3 Days” Face
It was a tough tournament for pitcher Chris Sanderson, catcher C.J. Price, pitcher Max Zhang, and LF Brandon Deger, as all four guys had trouble making poo poo all week. Apparently they took such efforts off the toilet and on to the field. Keep pushing boys! Your Big Poop will come one day…
The “Sexy and Seductive” Face
Some people on this earth are born to woo. These four pitchers, Max Cormier, Nick Gollin, Ian Kelso, and Dom Quaranta take no breaks from their eternal quest to seduce. Part of me wants to push Dom’s tongue back into his mouth, but at the same time, part of me doesn’t. Keep seducing, gentlemen. We applaud you.
The “Rabbit” Face
Both of these guys (pitchers Brad Margolin and Matt Tracy) look like rabbits. That’s a joke. This is where you laugh. Right here. Thanks.
It’s also funny because Tracy looks like Chloe, the girl with the teeth.
The Best of the Rest
DH Andrew Dwoskin looks like he’s preparing for that ball to hit him in the face, right? WRONG. THE BALL IS GOING THE OTHER WAY. JOKE’S ON YOU, IDIOT.
Pitcher Julian Clarke looks like he’s going to take you to a nice dinner and a movie, whether you want him to or not.
Pitcher Scott Nelson looks like someone just told him his cat died. Sorry Scott. Oh by the way, your cat just died.
Why did you kick Max Cormier in the snozzberries? You didn’t? Well, it looks like you did. Anyway, suck it Cormier.
The Derp Knight Rises
This is me. No, I’m not a hobo who lives under a bridge named Old Man Jones. Yes, that is my face. Yes, there is something seriously wrong with me.
May thee derp live on forever. #WashUBaseball
