Cube Eyes (plus Javier Baez)
Off-season Haiku:
Low-risk, high reward?
Yeah, okay, Jason Hammel.
Where is Tanaka?
Best Names in the Farm System:
- RHP Trey McNutt
- C Chadd Krist
- C Yaniel Cabezas
- OF Zeke DeVoss
- OF Bijan Rademacher
- 2B Gioskar Amaya
- SS Guiseppe Papaccio
- DH Rock Shoulders
- OF Reggie Golden
- RHP Jasvir Rakkar
- C Cael Brockmeyer
- OF Yasiel Balaguert
- OF Charcer Burks
- SS Varonex Cuevas
- 1B Roney Alcala
- OF Jenner Emeterio
- RHP Adbert Alzolay
- RHP Harrinson Bermudez
- RHP Greyfer Eregua
- LHP Yapson Gomez
- RHP Brohiglyn Rivero
- OF Shamil Ubiera
- SS Frandy Delarosa
- RHP Enderson Mercedes
- 3B Wladimir Galindo
- SS Gleyber Torres
FIVE BOLD PREDICTIONS:
- Clark the Cub starts the season in center field before being suspended for being PED (Particularly Extremely Disturbing)
- Instead of calling up Javier Baez to play shortstop, the Cubs will use his immense bat speed as a new form of energy to power all of Starlin Castro’s favorite electronic devices.
- Anthony Rizzo will call for a press conference to formally announce he has Sinistrophobia. Everyone will be like, “duh”.
- After months of intense negotiations, the Cubes will sign Welington Castillo to a team-friendly contract extension. They will convince him by giving him a full no-trade clause and the letter L that’s been missing from his first name for all these years.
- Darwin Barney will crush DiMaggio’s record and hit safely in 74 consecutive games from June to August. 98% of his hits will be infield singles.
[…] Cespedes Family BBQ previews the Cubs in the way only CFBBQ can. Only complaint? How are you going to look at Cubs players eyes and not include Kris Bryant? […]