2014 CFBBQ Season Previews: Los Angeles Dodgers

Doyer Eyes


Off-season Haiku:

Tried for Tanaka,

extended Kershaw instead,

then signed more Cubans.

Best Names in the Farm System:

  • RHP Red Patterson
  • OF Jeremy Hazelbaker
  • C Griff Erickson
  • C Dashenko Ricardo
  • 1B Angelo Songco
  • RHP Jharel Cotton
  • LHP Daniel Coulombe
  • C John Cannon
  • C Pratt Maynard
  • 1B O’Koyea Dickson
  • OF Casio Grider
  • RHP Zach Bird
  • RHP Ralston Cash
  • OF Devin Shines
  • RHP Danny Danielson
  • RHP Lenix Osuna
  • RHP Abdiel Velasquez
  • 3B Bladimir Franco
  • 2B Tyger Pederson
  • OF  Faustino Oguisten
  • C Luis Paz
  • SS Bernys Almarante
  • 2B Jorlin Chales
  • LHP Roberth Fernandez
  • RHP Omarlin Franco
  • RHP Osiris Ramirez
  • DH Arce Rodriguez
  • OF Ibandel Isabel
  • OF Rutinel Sosa
  • 1B Justin Chigbogu
  • C Hendrik Clementina
  • C Gersel Pitre
  • DH Yensys Capellan


  •  The entire population of Australia will show up to Zack Greinke’s first start of the season at Dodger Stadium and heckle him like no other country could.
  • Yasiel Puig will do a bat flip after a sacrifice bunt.
  • MLB.tv subscribers across the nation will be filled with joy and awe, as Vin Scully tells the story of the time he played table tennis with Erisbel Arruebarrena’s great uncle.
  • On June 7th, Paul Maholm, Chris Perez, Brandon League, Brian Wilson, and Kenley Jansen will combine for a no-hitter in Coors Field against a Rockies lineup anchored by Larry Walker, who will have returned to the big leagues in an attempt to re-establish his Hall of Fame credentials.
  • 17-year-old uber-prospect Julio Urias is called up in June after proving that he can responsibly handle a motor vehicle and obey all traffic laws.

3 comments on “2014 CFBBQ Season Previews: Los Angeles Dodgers

  1. Milton says:

    wow, you guys are fuckin’ hilarious…

  2. Blaise says:

    You forgot Joc Pederson and Corey Seager for best names in the farm system

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