Canada Eyes

Off-season Haiku:

They’ll sign Ervin, right?

Maybe Garza?  Tanaka?

Nope, just Dioner.

Best Names in the Farm System:

• RHP Austin Bibens-Dirkx
• 3B Jason Leblebijian
• SS Dickie Thon Jr.
• OF Chaz Frank
• LHP Francisco Gracesqui
• RHP Phil Kish
• 1B Lydell Moseby
• 1B Rowdy Tellez
• LHP Juliandry Higuera
• RHP Hamly Suero
• RHP Luis Zerpa
• 2B Deiferson Barreto
• 3B Ronniel Demorizi
• LHP Wilfri Aleton
• RHP Kamakani Usui
• SS Yeltsin Gudino
• RHP Cale Wine
• OF Boomer Collins

FIVE BOLD PREDICTIONS:

• After spending all off-season following thousands of strangers on Twitter, Jose Bautista will follow someone into a dark alley in Toronto…where he will be met by a friendly Canadian offering him directions back to Rogers Centre. Aren’t Canadians just the nicest?
• R.A. Dickey will expand his knuckleball repertoire by experimenting with a phalangeball and a metacarpalball.
• Brett Lawrie will hold a charity beer pong tournament to raise money for MORE RED BULL.
• Mark Buehrle has thrown 200+ innings in 13 consecutive seasons. This level of consistency bores him. This year, he will throw 2,000 innings.
• The Blue Jays will suffer another year of injuries and despair. By August, super-utility man Maicer Izturis will have played every position, started, relieved, closed, and served as the team mascot for the Jays.