Canada Eyes
Off-season Haiku:
They’ll sign Ervin, right?
Maybe Garza? Tanaka?
Nope, just Dioner.
Best Names in the Farm System:
- RHP Austin Bibens-Dirkx
- 3B Jason Leblebijian
- SS Dickie Thon Jr.
- OF Chaz Frank
- LHP Francisco Gracesqui
- RHP Phil Kish
- 1B Lydell Moseby
- 1B Rowdy Tellez
- LHP Juliandry Higuera
- RHP Hamly Suero
- RHP Luis Zerpa
- 2B Deiferson Barreto
- 3B Ronniel Demorizi
- LHP Wilfri Aleton
- RHP Kamakani Usui
- SS Yeltsin Gudino
- RHP Cale Wine
- OF Boomer Collins
FIVE BOLD PREDICTIONS:
- After spending all off-season following thousands of strangers on Twitter, Jose Bautista will follow someone into a dark alley in Toronto…where he will be met by a friendly Canadian offering him directions back to Rogers Centre. Aren’t Canadians just the nicest?
- R.A. Dickey will expand his knuckleball repertoire by experimenting with a phalangeball and a metacarpalball.
- Brett Lawrie will hold a charity beer pong tournament to raise money for MORE RED BULL.
- Mark Buehrle has thrown 200+ innings in 13 consecutive seasons. This level of consistency bores him. This year, he will throw 2,000 innings.
- The Blue Jays will suffer another year of injuries and despair. By August, super-utility man Maicer Izturis will have played every position, started, relieved, closed, and served as the team mascot for the Jays.
