2014 CFBBQ Season Previews: Toronto Blue Jays

Canada Eyes

bluejays_withnames

Off-season Haiku:

They’ll sign Ervin, right?

Maybe Garza?  Tanaka?

Nope, just Dioner.

Best Names in the Farm System:

  • RHP Austin Bibens-Dirkx
  • 3B Jason Leblebijian
  • SS Dickie Thon Jr.
  • OF Chaz Frank
  • LHP Francisco Gracesqui
  • RHP Phil Kish
  • 1B Lydell Moseby
  • 1B Rowdy Tellez
  • LHP Juliandry Higuera
  • RHP Hamly Suero
  • RHP Luis Zerpa
  • 2B Deiferson Barreto
  • 3B Ronniel Demorizi
  • LHP Wilfri Aleton
  • RHP Kamakani Usui
  • SS Yeltsin Gudino
  • RHP Cale Wine
  • OF Boomer Collins

FIVE BOLD PREDICTIONS:

  • After spending all off-season following thousands of strangers on Twitter, Jose Bautista will follow someone into a dark alley in Toronto…where he will be met by a friendly Canadian offering him directions back to Rogers Centre. Aren’t Canadians just the nicest?
  • R.A. Dickey will expand his knuckleball repertoire by experimenting with a phalangeball and a metacarpalball.
  • Brett Lawrie will hold a charity beer pong tournament to raise money for MORE RED BULL.
  • Mark Buehrle has thrown 200+ innings in 13 consecutive seasons. This level of consistency bores him. This year, he will throw 2,000 innings.
  • The Blue Jays will suffer another year of injuries and despair. By August, super-utility man Maicer Izturis will have played every position, started, relieved, closed, and served as the team mascot for the Jays.
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