2014 CFBBQ Season Previews: Pittsburgh Pirates

Pirate Eyes


Off-season Haiku:

Uh wait, what happened?

A.J. was supposed to stay :(

Still got Barmes though.

Best Names in the Farm System:

  • C Ralph Henriquez
  • 3B D.J. Crumlich
  • SS Gift Ngoepe
  • 3B Ashley Ponce
  • RHP Jhondaniel Medina
  • RHP Bryton Trepagnier
  • C Kawika Emsley-Pai
  • RHP Dovydas Neverauskas
  • RHP Oderman Rocha
  • C Jin-De Jhang
  • OF Candon Myles
  • RHP Jherson Esqueda
  • RHP Arquimedes Lorenzo
  • OF Yunior Aquiles
  • OF Tito Polo
  • LHP Luylli Miranda
  • SS Bealyn Chourio
  • 2B Ulises Montilla
  • SS Trae Arbet
  • OF Enyel Vallejo
  • RHP Adderly Ceballo
  • C Mikell Granberry
  • OF Jeremias Portorreal
  • OF Sandy Santos


  • Jason Grilli will enjoy another stellar season as the Bucs closer. For their May 5th game against the Giants, the first 5,000 fans under the age of 99 will receive a free grilled cheese sandwich.
  • Jeff Locke will not make the All-Star team.
  • Sometime in the middle of the season, Wandy Rodriguez will reveal that his name is actually Wandys.
  • In the midst of another successful season of Pirates baseball, Baseball Jesus will descend from the heavens and tell Clint Hurdle that the Pirates must revert to being a terrible baseball team; the sacred balance of the baseball universe is at risk with Pittsburgh actually being good.
  • Due to the immense amount of pressure from fans with a super lame sense of humor, the Pirates will finally give in and acquire David Aardsma.


One comment on “2014 CFBBQ Season Previews: Pittsburgh Pirates

  1. buc says:


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