2014 CFBBQ Season Previews: Los Angeles Angels

Angel Eyes

angels_withnames

Off-season Haiku:

Trumbo and Bourjos

will be missed, but too much.

Because Trout. Mike Trout.

Best Names in the Farm System:

  • RHP Orangel Arenas
  • C Jett Bandy
  • C Abel Baker
  • C Anthony Bemboom
  • OF Exicardo Cayones
  • OF Chevy Clarke
  • C Enyelber Vivas
  • 2B Kirby Pellant
  • C Cambric Moye
  • OF Ranyelmy Mendoza
  • RHP Spencer Trygg
  • OF Michael Fish
  • LHP Engerberg Rosales
  • LHP Edisson Rosario
  • RHP Crusito Mieses
  • SS Goldny Mills
  • SS Darlyn Mota
  • OF Ayendy Perez
  • OF Junior Pedie
  • RHP Yency Almonte
  • RHP Arjenis Fernandez
  • LHP Eswarlin Jimenes
  • RHP Joey Krehbiel

FIVE BOLD PREDICTIONS:

  • During their final series of the year, long after being eliminated from playoff contention, the Angels bullpen will fail to record any outs. After a decent, 7-inning outing from C.J. Wilson, the bullpen will come in and give up 173 runs until the umpires tell them to “stop trying” after giving up their 12th home run of the game to John Buck, who will be batting left-handed at that point.
  • Now given the opportunity to destroy the Rangers’ soul at least 19 times a year, David Freese will hit at least one walk-off home run off every single Texas reliever. Each home run will force a Game 7, and Joe Buck will see you tomorrow night.
  • Mike Trout will fly to Afghanistan for a USO event to support the troops. An inconveniently informed baseball fan will accuse him of “loving WAR” and “promoting WAR more than anyone else in baseball history”. It’ll be like, sooooo awkward.
  • Using a portion of his gargantuan contract, Albert Pujols will replace the base paths at Angel Stadium with fluffy carpet to help ease the eternal pain in his feet.
  • During the All-Star Break, Josh Hamilton will be eating dinner at a fancy restaurant. Across the room, he will see a tray of food being delivered to a table of innocent dinner guests. What’s on the tray? Sliders. He won’t be able to control himself. He will immediately go into a fit of discomfort, wildly swinging his breadsticks in every direction until the sliders are gone and he can go home. Just another sad night out for Josh :(
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