2014 CFBBQ Season Previews: Kansas City Royals

Click here for all previous previews. 

Royal Eyes

royals_withnames

Off-season Haiku:

Four years for Vargas,

How terribly exciting.

BRUCE CHEN IS BACK YEAH

Best Names in the Farm System:

  • LHP Buddy Baumann
  • RHP Sugar Ray Marimon
  • RHP Brooks Pounders
  • SS Orlando Calixte
  • OF Johermyn Chavez
  • RHP Bryan Brickhouse
  • RHP Zeb Sneed
  • LHP Yojensy Arias
  • LHP Brent Bonvillain
  • C Beau Maggi
  • OF Dexter Kjerstad
  • RHP Yimauri Pena
  • RHP Starlin Quinonez
  • RHP Yerinson Tatis
  • C Meibrys Viloria
  • 2B Offerman Collado
  • OF Cornelio Valerio
  • RHP Torey Deshazier

FIVE BOLD PREDICTIONS:

  • Lorde will finish with a higher SLG% than Mike Moustakas
  • The Royals will film a crazy music video for their new smash hit “Pursuit of the Postseason (Norichika Aoki Remix)” starring Jarrod Dyson and Danny Valencia.
  • By August, Yordano Ventura will be wearing his hat backwards. No one will complain.
  • After their first major baseball-related announcement, the Royals will decide to take another route right before the trade deadline. Word will get out that they have a minor football-related announcement. They will trade Billy Butler to the Kansas City Chiefs for whoever is on the Kansas City Chiefs. Dante Hall? Is he still on the Kansas City Chiefs? The Royals will trade Billy Butler for Dante Hall.
  • Eric Hosmer will finally become the magical unicorn that Royals fans have been hoping for. That is, until the fans realize that unicorns struggle to play baseball. The Royals will release Eric Hosmer because he will be a unicorn. Science will sign unicorn-Eric Hosmer to long-term deal.

 

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One comment on “2014 CFBBQ Season Previews: Kansas City Royals

  1. […] BillieButBBq / April 21, 2014 / No Comments kansas city royals – Google Blog Search 2014 CFBBQ Season Previews: Kansas City Royals « CESPEDES … They will trade Billy Butler to the Kansas City Chiefs for whoever is on the Kansas City Chiefs. Dante Hall? Is he still on the Kansas City Chiefs? The Royals will trade Billy Butler for Dante Hall. Eric Hosmer will finally become … more info… […]

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