Today, for the 17th year in a row, Pablo Sanchez turns seven-years-old. Or eight-years-old. Maybe even six-years-old. We really don’t know. All we know for sure is that somewhere on August 18th of some year, the greatest athlete in the history of the universe was born. The world has been touting #MVPablo since he was an infant, He’s an athletic superhero, a genetic miracle, and most importantly, a baseball player. While we all know Pablo went on to dominate every sport known to man (except water polo; his feet can’t reach the bottom), Pablo’s first love was béisbol. I already wrote a lengthy scouting report for Pablo, which you can read here, but he’s world-renowned as the most unstoppable force ever seen on any baseball diamond. He’s like Mike Trout, except better. Like way, way, way better. I’ve done my best to remind people how special Pablo is through a series of Vines over the past year or so. In honor of Pablo’s birthday, I’ve gone back and collected my top 10 favorite Pablo highlights. Spoiler: it’s a whole lot of dingers.
10. The Deepest Part of the Park
This may seem like a fairly regular dinger, but if you’ve played at Dirt Yards you know how difficult it is to hit it out to center field. The short fence helps you out a ton on fly balls to straightaway left field, but hitting it out to center is a rare feat only completely by the likes of Pablo, Griffey, and McGwire on occasion.
9. The Ultimate Sign of Respect
People love referencing the time Barry Bonds was walked with the bases loaded, and I don’t blame them. I love Barry Bonds and Barry Bonds was the best. But in that scenario, there was legitimate strategy behind the move, and it actually worked! In this case, the opposing team was already down by 40-something runs and simply didn’t want to deal with the embarrassment of letting Pablo punish them yet again.
8. PLUG YOUR EARS! IT’S A SCREAMING LINE DRIVE!
With the help of one of the best power-ups in the game, Pablo hits it so hard off the right field wall that it bounces all the way back to the infield. Pablo legs out a triple anyway because he can.
7. Pablo’s Professional Batting Practice Session
//platform.vine.co/static/scripts/embed.jsIn which Pablo displays his elite hitting acumen by spraying balls to all fields while basically hitting a dinger on every swing.
6. Hitting a Home Run With a 78-run Lead
//platform.vine.co/static/scripts/embed.jsThis is basically as bad a pitch as you can throw to any hitter, but to the best hitter on the planet? Get that garbage outta here. BOMB.
5. How to Hit an Infield Grand Slam
Step 1. Be Pablo Sanchez
This is just a good ol’ fashioned dinger. This home run was from last September and I’m still not sure if it’s landed yet. Absolutely obliterated.
3. Pablo in the Press Box
We were fortunate enough to receive credentials at a number of ballparks this summer as we wrote about our adventures both here and at Baseball Prospectus. This is Pablo taking batting practice in the Texas Rangers press box.
2. Pablo Calls His Shot
While the legend of Babe Ruth calling his shot has been disputed and debated for decades, this is a very clear example of Pablo proudly saying goodbye to the baseball he is about to destroy moments before destroying said baseball. He’s the greatest.
1. Pablo Does Aluminum
You weren’t actually expecting something else, were you? Pablo takes full advantage of the most magical feature in video game history and launches two moonshots down each foul line because he is better than you and you and you and Zack Cozart.
Thank you, Pablo. Happy birthday.