New York Mets Top 10 Shirseys

The actual baseballs are over and winter has set in, which means it’s time to talk about shirts. We are resuming our Top 10 Shirsey lists because we don’t have anything else to write about right now. So sit back, relax, and get ready to spend some money on some old shirts you don’t want or need.

Click here for the rest of our Top 10 Shirsey lists

Screen Shot 2014-12-01 at 10.16.57 PM  1. Carlos Baerga

  Size: XL

  Current Status: Available

  Website: eBay

  Price: $9.99 + $4.95 Shipping

eBay Description: “It measures 23″ armpit to armpit”

Player Notes: Baerga was only on the Mets for three years. He was traded to New York from Cleveland for Jeff Kent and Jose Vizcaino. I don’t think it’s true, but the internet tells me that Carlos Baerga was on the Nats in 2005. My favorite thing about Carlos Baerga is that he was a delegate for Rick Santorum in the 2012 Republican Primary. Carlos Baerga and Rick Santorum go together like peanut butter and jean shorts.

Shirsey Notes: The three years Baerga spent as a Met were 96′, 97′, and 98′, which means that this shirsey is at least 16 years old. Without carbon dating we’ll never know for sure, but there’s a good chance this is the oldest shirsey on the internet. This artifact, criminally undervalued at only $9.99, doesn’t belong in the drawers of some New Yorker’s childhood bedroom. A relic like this deserves to be displayed prominently in a museum and I will not rest until it is so. In other news, I think I just wrote the script for the next Indiana Jones movie: Indiana Jones and the Legend of Baerga.

Screen Shot 2014-12-01 at 11.02.56 PM 2. Kaz Matsui

 Size: M

 Current Status: Available

 Website: eBay

 Price: $25.00 buy it now. $9.00 starting bid.

eBay Description: “This is a pair of black Majestic New York Mets Crossbar Synthetic shorts in a size S. I will also throw in a free Kazuo Matsui name and number shirt in a size M. I need to pay my property tax bill.”

Player Notes: Kaz Matsui holds one of the most absurd records in MLB history that you probably didn’t know. He’s the only player to hit a dinger in his first at-bat of his first three seasons. He was also the first Japanese infielder to ever sign with a MLB team. This is a montage of photos from only Kaz’s time on the Astros that is set to a song called “Ganja Smuggling.” YouTube is an amazingly weird place.

Shirsey Notes: By far the most unique thing about this shirsey is that the seller is literally giving it away for free. Sure you have to fork over a few bucks for an old pair of shorts, but you get a KAZ MATSUI SHIRSEY FOR NOTHING. Makes you think that there must be something particularly fishy about those shorts. Also, I don’t know a lot about paying taxes, but I don’t think selling a pair of shorts and a Kazuo Matsui Mets shirsey is going to get the job done.

Screen Shot 2014-12-01 at 11.04.04 PM 3. Mike Piazza

 Size: M/XL

 Current Status: Available

 Website: eBay

 Price: $12.50

eBay Description: “Shirt is BRAND NEW, NEVER WORN, with TAGS ATTACHED. Image on the shirt is screen printed (front & back), with GLITTER (see pictures)”

Player Notes: Mike Piazza is maybe the greatest Met of all time. It’s either him, David Wright, Dwight Gooden, Drew Gooden, or Shingo Takatsu. It might be any of those guys, but it’s actually not because it’s definitely Benny Agbayani. Here’s a video of Mike Piazza doing the Joe Mauer Head and Shoulders ad 15 years before Joe Mauer did it.

Shirsey Notes: There are certainly questions about whether or not this… thing should qualify as a shirsey. The term used throughout the post to describe this entity is “Jersey Dress Shirt.” This is the perfect gift for anyone still living in 2004.


 4. Omar Quintanilla

 Size: N/A

 Current Status: Not Available

 Website: Twitter

 Price: N/A

Player Notes: Omar Quintanilla is one of those guys most people assume is from a Latin-American country, but is actually just from Texas. Aside from this amazing picture in which he looks absolutely stoned, Omar is known for having a last name that sounds like quesadilla. He has 6 seasons with a negative WAR, which looks pretty awful until you realize that he is one of the best 2,000 baseball players in the world.

Shirsey Notes:  Thanks to Twitter user @molliegalchus for sending this one in. She also let me know that she and her father have matching Omar Quintanilla shirseys, one Orioles and one Mets. Mollie, I don’t know if you’re married, but I hope that at your wedding you and your father do that father-daughter dance thing in your matching Omar Quintanilla shirseys. I assume that’s what every girl dreams about her wedding night. I’ll arrange a slow dance version of “Meet the Mets” just for you and your father. Another idea, all the groomsmen wear Orioles Quintanilla shirseys and all the bridesmaids wear Mets Quintanilla shirseys.

 5. Jerry SeinfeldB30sSL4CEAAEAfa

 Size: N/A

 Current Status: Not Available

 Website: Twitter

 Price: N/A

Player Notes: Seinfeld slugged .424 in 1996 with 3 RBI’s in 6 at-bats in a Wiffle ball game at the beach with his kids. A combination of a below-average hit tool, a significant lack of athleticism, and an inability to avoid distractions off the field stunted Jerry’s developmental growth and restricted him from ever making it to the majors.

Shirsey Notes: THIS IS THE MOST METS SHIRSEY OF ALL TIME. It’s not really all that close. Most people know that it’s a proven fact that 85% of Mets fans are Jewish dads who grew up on Long Island and know every single line of every single Seinfeld episode. Thank you @mkraust. I can only assume that your Rabbi gave you this for your birthday.

6. Andres Torreshwl

 Size: XL/XXL

 Current Status: Available

 Website: Lids

 Price: $28.00

Description: “Sporting an authentic logo and your favorite player’s name, this shirt is sure to keep you spirited.”

Player Notes: When Andres Torres had that one really good year for the Giants in 2010 I remember feeling a lot of pride. Torres credited his sudden success to the Adderall he was prescribed before the season after he found out he had ADHD. I have ADHD as well and saw Torres as a beacon of light for we attention-challenged folks. Unfortunately, Torres was soon traded to the Mets and thanks to his new medicine finally was able to remember that he wasn’t very good at baseball. Side Note: One time, a kid at college asked me if I wanted to go do some Adderall. I said I would, but that I’d have to go right to the library afterwards.

Shirsey Notes: This is the perfect shirsey for all those Mets fans who spend all their waking hours dreaming about reliving The Andres Torres Years. The Internet is filled with many, many mysteries, but the biggest one might be about why this shirsey is 28 dollars. I tried ordering 157 of these, but informed me that there were only seven left in stock. Lids has probably been trying to get rid of these things for years. One staffer even gave one to his dad for Christmas, but his dad gave it back explaining, “he already had a Angel Pagan shirsey.” In the event of a nuclear winter, the only things to survive will be cockroaches and these seven XL/XXL Andres Torres Mets shirseys.

 7. Todd PrattScreen Shot 2014-12-02 at 12.03.11 AM

 Size: L

 Current Status: Available

 Website: eBay

 Price: $6.00 + $3.99 Shipping


Player Notes: Todd Pratt is one of those guys who I tangentially remember even though he played before I was born. Wikipedia, the must trusted source in the web outside of Scott Swaim, tells me that Pratt worked at a Domino’s delivering pizzas during the 1996 after he went unsigned out of spring training. I’m imagining a scenario where a bunch of the ’96 Cubs (the team that Pratt played for in ’95) are all hanging out at Scott Servais’ house, shooting the shit and they decide to order a pizza. “Oh hey, Todd. Didn’t realize you got a new job. Don’t mean to be insensitive, but which one of these is mushroom? My boy Steve Traschel over here just hates mushrooms.”

Shirsey Notes: Nope, definitely not a Todd Pratt shirsey. At least it “has that silky feel to it.” There are very few instances in which you can use the phrase “it has that silky feel to it” and not sound like a total poophead. Also, I’m thinking about starting an athletic clothing company called Kinda Like Under Armour.

8. Carlos DelgadoScreen Shot 2014-12-02 at 1.10.15 PM

 Size: L

 Current Status: Available

 Website: eBay

 Price: $14.95

Description: “Our goal is to impress our customers and ensure you will return in the future.”

Player Notes: This is is a good opportunity to recognize just how awesome Carlos Delgado was. Carlos Delgado is the only player ever to have 40+ homers, 55+ doubles, and 120+ walks in a single season (2000). He also had four dingers in one game, which is four more dingers than you have in your entire MLB career. Here’s an advertisement he did for T-Mobile in which he repeatedly butt dials his wife while he’s up to bat at a MLB game.

Shirsey Notes: This is a very good purchase here. Chances are you don’t have a Carlos Delgado shirsey and I’ve just given you the opportunity to own one. It would be better if you could get a Delgado Blue Jays shirsey, but I don’t think enough time has passed that Delgado can be considered “retro.” Unclear whether or not the hands in the picture are included in the purchase, but if they are that is a huge plus. It’s always nice to have another pair of hands around the house, just in case anything happens to your hands.

 9. John MaineScreen Shot 2014-12-02 at 1.20.47 PM

 Size: XXL

 Current Status: Available

 Website: eBay

 Price: $11.99 + $6.95

Description: “Available today is a Majestic MLB New York Mets John Maine #33 black T-shirt.”

Player Notes: John Maine played decent baseball for a couple of years in Major League Baseball, the American professional baseball league. His lasting legacy will be his place in the most 2005 trade of all time in which he was sent from the Orioles to the Mets with Jorge Julio for infamous goofball Kris Benson. Important reminder that Kris Benson’s wife killed someone when she was 18 and mysteriously got away with it. Oh also John Maine was the subject of an Onion article once too. 

Shirsey Notes: This is the perfect ironic Christmas gift for your fat uncle Carl. He’s been looking for XXL shirseys and oh boy do you have the perfect thing for him. The only other reasons someone would buy this shirsey is if they had a particular affinity for the state of Maine or if they were an enormous Gucci Mane fan. You might not know this, but even though their names are spelled differently, Gucci Mane and John Maine are blood relatives.

davis lol10. 99 Cent Ike Davis

 Size: XXL

 Current Status: Available

 Website: eBay

 Price: $0.99


Player Notes: Ike Davis is the embodiment of Mets fandom. Jewish, initially filled with potential, but ultimately disappointing; Ike Davis encapsulates what it means to be a Mets fan. You probably don’t know this because you don’t get Ike Davis Google Alerts, but he was signed by the A’s earlier in the off-season. Like many other old Jewish men, he is completing the trek from New York City to warmer and more forgiving pastures. Long live Ike Davis. You’ll always be a Met to us. 

Shirsey Notes: Once a symbol of hope and a better future, Davis was finally traded during this past season, which means that the market for Ike Davis Mets shirseys has spiraled down. This shirsey has already been sold, but if you had acted earlier you could have purchased it for only 99 cents. I bet that most of the shirts in your dresser right now were bought for more than 99 cents. Apparently this seller is so willing to part ways with the Ike Davis Era that he will basically give you a shirt for free.

One comment on “New York Mets Top 10 Shirseys

  1. Jack Wilson I mean Freddy Sanchez says:

    Who would pay $14.95 for a Carlos Delgado shirsey from eBay when they can get it for just $8.39 from! AND you have an array of size choices at Lids, which that eBay seller simply cannot offer.

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