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LF: Goal Gallon
CF: My Cat Route
1B: Halibut Poop Holes
RF: Sasha Mill Tone
3B: Day Video Frizz
DH: See Jake Run
SS: Harry Gay Bar
2B: Jaw Shirt Tut Ledge
C: Chrissy An Header
SP: Chair The Weevil
SP: Seat Change Whale Son
SP: Carrot Renters
SP: Match Home Raker
SP: Canned Rue Honey
Off-season Haiku
Kendrick for Heaney,
Random Cuban (Baldoquin),
Didn’t trade Mike Trout!
Farthest Home Run of 2014
Mike Trout off Jason Vargas – 489 feet
Because being the best baseball player on the planet wasn’t enough, Mike Trout also hit this ridiculous dinger, the farthest home run in all of baseball in 2014.
Shortest Home Run of 2014
Kole Calhoun off Jerome Williams – 351 feet
The right field corner in Angel Stadium is certainly short, but it’s crazy to think it’s still 50 feet farther back than the Pesky Pole in Fenway.
Best Names in the Farm System
- LHP Atahualpa Severino
- OF Kentrail Davis
- LHP Carmine Giardina
- LHP Kramer Sneed
- LHP Scott Scodgress
- C Raywilly Gomez
- OF D’Arby Myers
- C Anthony Bemboom
- OF Exicardo Cayones
- OF Riley Good
- OF Mike Fish
- OF Ranyelmy Mendoza
- RHP Arjenis Fernandez
- RHP Ausin Robichaux
- C Wade Wass
- 1B Fran Whitten
- 3B R.J. Santigate
- OF Natanael Delgado
- OF Bo Way
- C Eason Spivey
- OF Ayendy Perez
- RHP Lianmy Galan
- RHP Raymundo Gonzalez
- RHP Crusito Mueses
- LHP Junior Pimentel
- LHP Shakiro Pena
- LHP Engerberg Rosales
- LHP Delfo Terrero
- C Keinner Pina
- 2B Goldny Mills
- SS Darlyn Mota
- OF Junior Pedie
- OF Stevens Garcia
- OF Argenis Diaz
- OF Miguel Tejada
Three Bold Predictions
- After a rough April at the plate, Kole Calhoun loses his starting job to Colin Cowgill. Discouraged, he quits baseball and decides to create an unauthorized spin-off to the FX series, Louie, starring himself. It will be called Kole.
- Josh Hamilton’s struggles continue, except during the Angels’ May series against the Orioles in Baltimore, when Hamilton will rediscover his 2012 magic and hit 12 home runs during the three-game series.
- Mike Trout hits so unfathomably well during interleague play that the BBWAA decides to just give him the National League MVP also.
Starting two first basemen and no DH
