2015 CFBBQ Season Previews: New York Yankees

Click here to see our other 2015 team previews!

Projected Lineup

LF: Bet Carton Her

CF: Jay Cubby Hells Perry

RF: Carl O’Spelled Wrong

C: Prying My Gang

1B: Marked Escher-A

3B: Shake Said Lee

DH: Carriage Owns

2B: Steve Andrew

SS: Deed Eager Glorious

SP: Sea Seesaw Bath Yeehaw

SP: Massive Hero Tanker

SP: My Kelp An Nader

SP: Neigh Thin Ne-Yo Balding

SP: Crisp Cup Toronto

Off-season Haiku

They’ll get Scherzer, right?

Lester? Hanley? Moncada?!?!

Nope. Just Chase Headley.

Farthest Home Run of 2014
Carlos Beltran off Edward Mujica – 434 feet

This relatively unspectacular Farthest Home Run of 2014 is yet another example of the Yankees’ relatively unspectacular 2014.

Shortest Home Run of 2014
Brett Gardner off Marcus Stroman – 331 feet

This home run was terrible but man, even when he gives up home runs, I continue to be extremely impressed by Marcus Stroman. Dat movement.

Best Names in the Farm System

  • RHP Andury Acevedo
  • RHP Wilking Rodriguez
  • RHP Nick Rumbelow
  • OF Slade Heathcott
  • LHP Rigoberto Arrebato
  • RHP Nick Goody
  • RHP Zach Nuding
  • 1B Greg Bird
  • OF Jake Cave
  • LHP Dietrich Enns
  • RHP Brett Gerritse
  • SS Cito Culver
  • 2B Angelo Gumbs
  • 2B Derek Toadvine
  • OF Ericson Leonora
  • OF Danny Oh
  • RHP Cale Coshow
  • RHP Rookie Davis
  • RHP Giovanny Gallegos
  • LHP Justin Kamplain
  • LHP Evan Rutckyj
  • C Kale Valera
  • SS Abiatal Avelino
  • 1B Bubba Jones
  • OF Yeicok Calderon
  • OF Claudio Custodio
  • LHP Andrew Chin
  • C Radley Haddad
  • SS Vicente Conde
  • SS Jose Javier
  • 3B Renzo Martini
  • RHP Dayton Dawe
  • LHP Jonny Drozd
  • RHP Deshorn Lake
  • RHP Manolo Reyes
  • LHP Orby Tavares
  • C Roybell Herrera
  • SS Thairo Estrada
  • C Rainiero Coa
  • SS Angel Aguilar
  • SS Yancarlos Baez
  • LHP Havid Burgos
  • RHP Raynel Espinal
  • RHP Anyelo Gomez
  • RHP Raudy Guzman
  • RHP Hershelon Juliana
  • RHP Bringnel Mendez
  • C Jerry Seitz
  • SS Griffin Garabito
  • 2B Welfrin Mateo
  • OF Greidy Encarnacion
  • OF Dario Unda
  • RHP Freddery Arias
  • RHP Jeris Casanova
  • LHP Corby McCoy
  • RHP Leyfer Ramirez
  • C Algeni Mateo
  • 2B Tirson Guzman
  • SS Yonauris Rodriguez
  • OF Yeangel Pujols
  • OF Wascar Rodriguez

Three Bold Predictions

  • Alex Rodriguez plays 150 games, and hits over .300 with 40+ dingers. The New York Post sports section goes out of business soon thereafter.
  • Towards the end of spring training, Didi Gregorius legally changes his name to “Derek Jeter”, making life hell for Michael Kay and David Cone up in the booth.
  • Mark Teixeira loses 24 pounds, but his lap gains 32 pounds.

One comment on “2015 CFBBQ Season Previews: New York Yankees

  1. vicki says:

    it’s a golden age for yankee farmhand name tools; but above the rest rises “yeicock.”

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