Click here to see our other 2015 team previews!

Projected Lineup

LF: Bet Carton Her

CF: Jay Cubby Hells Perry

RF: Carl O’Spelled Wrong

C: Prying My Gang

1B: Marked Escher-A

3B: Shake Said Lee

DH: Carriage Owns

2B: Steve Andrew

SS: Deed Eager Glorious

SP: Sea Seesaw Bath Yeehaw

SP: Massive Hero Tanker

SP: My Kelp An Nader

SP: Neigh Thin Ne-Yo Balding

SP: Crisp Cup Toronto

Off-season Haiku

They’ll get Scherzer, right?

Lester? Hanley? Moncada?!?!

Nope. Just Chase Headley.

Farthest Home Run of 2014
Carlos Beltran off Edward Mujica – 434 feet

This relatively unspectacular Farthest Home Run of 2014 is yet another example of the Yankees’ relatively unspectacular 2014.

Shortest Home Run of 2014
Brett Gardner off Marcus Stroman – 331 feet

This home run was terrible but man, even when he gives up home runs, I continue to be extremely impressed by Marcus Stroman. Dat movement.

Best Names in the Farm System

• RHP Andury Acevedo
• RHP Wilking Rodriguez
• RHP Nick Rumbelow
• OF Slade Heathcott
• LHP Rigoberto Arrebato
• RHP Nick Goody
• RHP Zach Nuding
• 1B Greg Bird
• OF Jake Cave
• LHP Dietrich Enns
• RHP Brett Gerritse
• SS Cito Culver
• 2B Angelo Gumbs
• 2B Derek Toadvine
• OF Ericson Leonora
• OF Danny Oh
• RHP Cale Coshow
• RHP Rookie Davis
• RHP Giovanny Gallegos
• LHP Justin Kamplain
• LHP Evan Rutckyj
• C Kale Valera
• SS Abiatal Avelino
• 1B Bubba Jones
• OF Yeicok Calderon
• OF Claudio Custodio
• LHP Andrew Chin
• C Radley Haddad
• SS Vicente Conde
• SS Jose Javier
• 3B Renzo Martini
• RHP Dayton Dawe
• LHP Jonny Drozd
• RHP Deshorn Lake
• RHP Manolo Reyes
• LHP Orby Tavares
• C Roybell Herrera
• SS Thairo Estrada
• C Rainiero Coa
• SS Angel Aguilar
• SS Yancarlos Baez
• LHP Havid Burgos
• RHP Raynel Espinal
• RHP Anyelo Gomez
• RHP Raudy Guzman
• RHP Hershelon Juliana
• RHP Bringnel Mendez
• C Jerry Seitz
• SS Griffin Garabito
• 2B Welfrin Mateo
• OF Greidy Encarnacion
• OF Dario Unda
• RHP Freddery Arias
• RHP Jeris Casanova
• LHP Corby McCoy
• RHP Leyfer Ramirez
• C Algeni Mateo
• 2B Tirson Guzman
• SS Yonauris Rodriguez
• OF Yeangel Pujols
• OF Wascar Rodriguez

Three Bold Predictions

• Alex Rodriguez plays 150 games, and hits over .300 with 40+ dingers. The New York Post sports section goes out of business soon thereafter.
• Towards the end of spring training, Didi Gregorius legally changes his name to “Derek Jeter”, making life hell for Michael Kay and David Cone up in the booth.
• Mark Teixeira loses 24 pounds, but his lap gains 32 pounds.