We were recording our weekly podcast segment with Lana earlier tonight and we started talking about if there were any A-Rod fan clubs. A Lana Berry google search and some internet tunneling later we found the greatest thing of all time.

This is a link to an A-Rod fan page written by someone named Angel that contains unreal “fun facts” about Alex like…

Eventually we stumbled into some of Angel’s other works and we found the holy grail: A-Rod, Jeter, and Nomar fan fiction. You can tell it was written around 2003 because people are still paging each other instead of texting. The A-Rod ones are the best, but they’re all amazing. Here are some of the highlights:

WHAT IS MORGAN FREEMAN DOING HERE

Of course A-Rod talks to his “sex organs”

I WANT TO SMACK HIM THERE

Just read the whole thing people. Read it and love it.