There is a Cuban baseballer on the Oakland Athletics named Yoenis Cespedes. When he became a free agent in 2011, he released a workout showcase video and sent it to all 30 major league general managers. The video is the stuff of legends, but what happened at the end of the video turned Cespedes from man into god.
Only a man as daring, brave, courageous and brilliant would send a video of himself roasting a pig over an open flame to every major league team. His boisterous biceps bounce in the breeze as his gesticulating gestures provide a feeling of comfort and safety. We just wish we had been invited to that CESPEDES FAMILY BARBECUE.
Jake Mintz: Born on the day Cal Ripken tied Gehrig’s record, baseball has been in his blood since birth, which is probably something he should talk to his doctor about. As a mediocre baseball player himself, Jake has valuable mediocre insight on the finer points of the game. Mintz has played against Steve Lombardozzi’s brother, Mike Cameron’s son, and has coached Manny Burress’ niece. Jake attends Washington University in St. Louis and sorta might try and walk on there starting fall 2013. You can email him at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Jordan Shusterman: As someone with the same birthday as Chuck Norris and Dayan Viciedo, Jordan lives a life full of high expectations. His NL team is the CLOLorado Rockies and his AL team is the Seattle Mariners because he enjoys extreme parks and sadness. He attends the College of Wooster (not Worcester) and is within two hours of the Cleveland Indians and four of their minor league affiliates. You can e-mail him at email@example.com, if you so desire.