Since the dawn of civilization, mankind has looked towards religion as a way to explain the way the world works. While there are differences in all of them, creation myths and deities tend to have significant through-lines, and tonight I feel prepared to publish my explanation as to why this happens. In the past, we have shown that Chris Davis is actually Jesus, but I believe there is more to it than that, that if you look closer, you can find Chris Davis in all religions.
Now, I know what you are thinking: even Xenu? Yes, even Xenu.
To prove my point, I will showcase the thing that Chris Davis and all gods have. Heretics who wish death upon these gods.
I feel like the haters make my point for me. I mean really, do you want to be the guy that sided with Rick Reilly when the Christpocalypse is upon us?