Yesterday, former major league shortstop Yuniesky Betancourt turned 33. While I am certainly not the only fan who maintains a love-hate relationship with Yuni, I like to think I’ve kept it up longer than most, for better or for worse (definitely for worse). My affinity for Yuni stems from his three-plus years as my beloved Mariners’ starting shortstop. As some of you know, we like to have fun with the @Mariners over on the Twitter machine. It’s pretty clearly the best MLB team Twitter account, and we enjoy interacting with them from time to time. However, I quickly learned the hard way that @Mariners can troll with the best of them.
In November of 2013, I purchased a 2008 Seattle Mariners Yuniesky Betancourt bobblehead on eBay. It was a ridiculous purchase, but my the desk in my dorm room was in need of another member; Cobra Bubbles and Count Chocula needed another running mate. And so, Bobblehead Yuni joined them.
my Yuni bobblehead can’t wait to find out what crazy shit the Mariners are about to do pic.twitter.com/ooAmpmZuvt
— Cespedes Family BBQ (@CespedesBBQ) December 4, 2013
//platform.twitter.com/widgets.jsThat “crazy shit” turned out to be signing that Robinson Cano guy to a lot of years for a lot of money. That was pretty exciting! I began to trust Bobblehead Yuni to emotionally guide me through the dangerous hot stove season with that confident smile of his. For a while, this coping strategy worked like a charm. When the Mariners traded my irrationally beloved Carter Capps to Miami, Bobblehead Yuni was there for me. When the Mariners gave Corey Hart’s knees $6 million, Bobblehead Yuni was there for me. When the Mariners gave Willie Bloomquist a two-year deal, you’re god damn right Bobblehead Yuni was there for me. Suddenly, disaster struck. At some point over the first few weeks of my spring semester, Bobblehead Yuni mysteriously disappeared. I was horrified. What transpired over the next several months cannot be explained with words…but it can be explained with tweets. In honor of his birthday, here it is: the mysterious case of Bobblehead Yuni.
WHAT KIND OF SICK FUCK WOULD STEAL A YUNIESKY BETANCOURT BOBBLEHEAD pic.twitter.com/6lSZnOl2Th — Cespedes Family BBQ (@CespedesBBQ) January 24, 2014
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no but seriously my Yuniesky Betancourt bobblehead has gone missing and I’m 96% sure it came alive and is going to play 2B for the Yankees — Cespedes Family BBQ (@CespedesBBQ) January 24, 2014
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i’m sure my Yuniesky Betancourt bobblehead would be pretty pumped about the Seahawks IF IT HADN’T BEEN STOLEN pic.twitter.com/4XZaoeJWdQ — Cespedes Family BBQ (@CespedesBBQ) February 3, 2014
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of course this is on my desk #FelixHernandez #FaceofMLB pic.twitter.com/xifpfN25vx — Cespedes Family BBQ (@CespedesBBQ) February 11, 2014
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@CespedesBBQ You hang photo frames on your desk? You’re weird, Cespedes Family BBQ. #FelixHernandez #FaceofMLB — Seattle Mariners (@Mariners) February 11, 2014
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.@Mariners um no, it’s standing right next to my STOLEN YUNIESKY BOBBLEHEAD pic.twitter.com/ofFcCdjQoM — Cespedes Family BBQ (@CespedesBBQ) February 11, 2014
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@CespedesBBQ Who did you steal it from? Also, you know that’s just a stand for the bobblehead, right? #FelixHernandez #FaceofMLB — Seattle Mariners (@Mariners) February 11, 2014
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.@Mariners i know, because IT WAS STOLEN FROM ME. wait did you steal it did you steal my Yuniesky bobblehead oh my god you totally did — Cespedes Family BBQ (@CespedesBBQ) February 11, 2014
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@CespedesBBQ Now you’re being ridiculous. #FelixHernandez #FaceofMLB pic.twitter.com/npLOj7XYPN — Seattle Mariners (@Mariners) February 11, 2014
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.@Mariners I AM COMING TO GET IT RIGHT NOW pic.twitter.com/QcULNXmsFE — Cespedes Family BBQ (@CespedesBBQ) February 11, 2014
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@Lana @CespedesBBQ You stay out of it, Lana! Also, please tweet and retweet #FelixHernandez #FaceofMLB. — Seattle Mariners (@Mariners) February 12, 2014
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The repartee between @Mariners and @CespedesBBQ wins the Internet for today. #FelixHernandez #FaceofMLB — keithlaw (@keithlaw) February 12, 2014
.@Mariners hey so we’ve had some rough times (bobblehead theft, etc.) but I just wanted to let you know that I still love you #BBQValentines — Cespedes Family BBQ (@CespedesBBQ) February 14, 2014
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@CespedesBBQ That means a lot to us, Cespedes Family BBQ. Happy Valentine’s Day. pic.twitter.com/NBZkFeV806 — Seattle Mariners (@Mariners) February 14, 2014
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.@Mariners happy Opening Day <3 make sure my Yuni bobblehead that you stole has a good seat for tonight’s game. thanks ! — Cespedes Family BBQ (@CespedesBBQ) April 8, 2014
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@CespedesBBQ We gave him your seat since you couldn’t make it. #MarinersOpener pic.twitter.com/jrk9FiycnK — Seattle Mariners (@Mariners) April 8, 2014
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.@Mariners my Yuniesky bobblehead is excited for tonight’s game! or at least it would be IF YOU HADN’T STOLEN IT pic.twitter.com/F31me7bAcl — Cespedes Family BBQ (@CespedesBBQ) September 14, 2014
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@CespedesBBQ Oh it’s excited alright. #NightCourtpic.twitter.com/fzbbL9O815 — Seattle Mariners (@Mariners) September 14, 2014
A year later, I still have no idea what happened to Bobblehead Yuni. His somber stand still sits on the shelf in my dorm room, eagerly awaiting his return. I don’t know if @Mariners really did steal Bobblehead Yuni, but if they did, at least I know he’s in safe hands. Thanks, @Mariners. You’re the best.
UPDATE:
In June, 2015, we visited Safeco Field in Seattle and confronted @Mariners face to face. Justice was served.
reYUNIted and it feels so good pic.twitter.com/IbMDqvBGIW
— Cespedes Family BBQ (@CespedesBBQ) June 7, 2015
CESPEDES FAMILY BARBECUE 