If you belong to the popular social media site Twitter dot com and you follow a plethora of baseball related accounts, you may have been somewhat confused earlier this morning. Prized free agent pitcher, Masahiro Tanaka tweeted something in Japanese that was reportedly (Google) translated as “I have decided” or “I decided” or “I can’t decide.”
But once a variety of native Japanese speakers were awoken from their respective slumbers it was revealed that Tanaka’s tweet had nothing to do with free agency, or even baseball for that matter. You see, Mr. Tanaka wanted to select a new twitter avatar and just could not decide which picture to choose. So while the rest of the baseball internet is laughing at their own stupidity, I’ve decided to tackle the real issue here: that Masahiro is still stuck with his current Twitter AVI. Rather than doing something trivial with my time, I’m going to give the Japanese hide-slinger some options for a new Twitter avatar that helps him appeal to his new American fan base.
AVI Option #1: PRINCE OF DERP
Overview: While Tanaka will never be able to overthrow the King of Derp, his majesty Jeff Karstens, this picture has the potential to thrust Tanaka into the higher rungs of the derp royal family. It also looks like Tanaka is trying to give someone a kiss, which would help him appeal to fans who would love some smooching time with Mr. Tanaka.
Appeals To: Ian and Riley from Productive Outs, fans of funny faces, and those desiring Mr. Tanaka’s kisses.
Does Not Appeal To: Those wishing to engage in staring contests, and derp detractors.