As you may or may not know, Joey Bautista follows over 147,000 people on Twitter. Following someone on Twitter usually means that you are interested in what they have to say. I hope for Joey’s sake that this is not the case for his account. Here are some of Bautista’s best follows of the last couple weeks:

This one makes a bit of sense seeing as baseball “his life.” You’d think a true baseball fan would be wearing a baseball shirsey in his header photo. He’s also quite the friendly lad, offering up his phone number for all of those who have yet to meet Mr. Blow-Me.

Does his Twitter bio imply that the feeling gained following him is akin to the feeling of putting peanut butter in one’s butthole? If so, Jose Bautista likes peanut butter in his butthole, which should be front page news for the next few weeks.

Bautista is a Dominican playing in Canada, but still finds time to follow the exploits of this particular American Twitter user. It goes without saying that Jose also enjoys @ADrunkMerican’s “sexual stuff” and “honest stuff.”

The other follower is a pornbot known as @WetHotYastrzemski

More riveting butthole action for Joey Bats, but this time instead of peanut butter it’s orangutan-related.

Jose is just really interested in what Jordan has to say about the world.

Last, but not least I present to you a quick video of a series of people Jose followed in the somewhat recent past.

Of course he follows almost every single female bodybuilder. Who doesn’t these days?

Just remember that Jose Bautista follows all these people, probably you, and yet took the time to follow and then UNFOLLOW us. Amazing. #JoeyBarfs