While there are a seemingly unlimited number of ways to experience the game of baseball through social media from the comfort of your own home, there are a few things that you can only truly get by attending a game. One of these, is the walk-up music chosen by the players of the home team. I’ve recently been exposed to the fact that many of the walk-up songs for specific players are available online on each team’s respective site. This is fantastic news for those of us who aren’t so lucky as to visit every MLB park and hear each player’s music. Here at CFB I’m gonna take a look at some of the highlights of this rather awful collection of music that MLB players have decided represent them/pump them up/introduce them best.

(You can find the collection of music by going to a team’s website and looking under the “FANS” tab for a section called “Ballpark Music” or something similar to it.)

Arizona Diamondbacks:

Eric Hinske has maintained a 10.5% walk rate over his 10 year career, so maybe this is just some way to remind the few fans left in the stadium that care about him of that. Maybe he’s reminding himself.  “okay, Eric, take your pitches, take your pitches…” *looks at three straight strikes* “aw well okay maybe next time”

I don’t know about you, but when I think John McDonald, I think Gangsta Nation.

And here we have our first Call Me Maybe of the series. I’m curious to see how many more we come across. Josh Collmenter and his hilarious arm slot represent Carly Rae pretty well though. I like it.

Colorado Rockies:

Jim Tracy: I don’t know Rafael, you’re really asking for a lot. Giving you the closer role was a big step in our relationship, but everything…

Rafael Betancourt: EVERYTHINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

For whatever reason it took me a while to realize what this was, but now it’s even funnier. I would love to have musical motivation from Lil Wayne if my name was DJ, so this one is absolutely approved.

“I thought I told you Imma a star/ You see that ice? You see the cars…”

Los Angeles Dodgers:

I don’t really know what to say. I just feel extremely uncomfortable.

Aaron Harang looks like Droopy the dog. And apparently he Can’t Stop.

Snow is really cold, but not nearly as cold as Zack Greinke’s soul was whenever this picture was taken. Goodness.

San Diego Padres:

The  “we” is awfully misleading. Sure, Yasmani Grandal is young. Cameron Maybin is still very young. Maybe he’s referring to San Diego’s incredibly loaded and deep farm system. But Mark Kotsay was drafted a little over two years after top prospect Max Fried was born sooooooooooooooo yeah.

Besides being awfully amused by the name of the band, I wonder if this song plays at Petco every time Bass comes out for another inning, or what. The “More” is a bit unclear as well.

One of my absolute favorites. “Stinkfist” alone should win Blanks some award but having a song called “The Second Coming” as well is just incredible. He’s Kyle Blanks (!!!). He’s got a career 31.6% strikeout rate and four wonderfully uncoordinated limbs. You go, Kyle Blanks.

San Francisco Giants:

“Hell On Wheels” AKA Scott Cousins. Too soon ? Too soon. Whatever, Giants fans. TWO WORLD FUCKING SERIES IN THREE YEARS. Bye.

Loving the mugshot-esque headshot to go along with the probably bad hip-hop song that I’ve never actually heard. “Loud” just isn’t the word I’d use to describe Lincecum anyway.

I honestly have zero idea who Dan Otero is or why he is planning to stop science, but we should probably all be very afraid.