Dealing With Your Natitude in the Offseason

Michael Morse Is Yelling At You To Deal With It

So you lived in a city without a competitive baseball team, when all of a sudden you’re swept off your feet by a rag-tag group of dreamers. A gloriously hot Washington summer followed, full of overpriced pizza, president races, and horrible walk-up music. Then came the playoffs and you thought you regained your faith in humanity when Teddy won. Then came what seemed to be the biggest moment in Washington baseball history. And in the 9th inning of game 5 it all seemed so perfect, how could all this go wrong? Well it did go wrong. And it was tragic, and depressing, and sad, and you felt it in your stomach for days. And now you have to deal with it.

Your natitude is probably un-ignited right now. It’s probably off in the corner of your bedroom gathering dust because you couldn’t bring yourself to look at a curly W for a while. Ignoring your natitude might be the best idea for right now, but if you plan on your natitude to keep you warm during the cold winter, you’re going to need to find other ways to get that shit ignited.

  • Find a fat guy named Teddy and challenge him to a race. 
  • When buying a 4 dollar beer, give the cashier 4 extra dollars to replicate a stadium environment.
  • Find Terrence at a Wizards game.
  • Get Tommy John surgery on your elbow just for funsies.
  • Shoot your gun out the window of your car 
  • Do your eyeliner like this.
  • Say RGIII all the time regardless of the context.

Peace. Love. Natitude. Baseball.

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2 comments on “Dealing With Your Natitude in the Offseason

  1. gabimendick says:

    my natitude is always ignited and i hate football more than i hate your mom

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