Who Is This Man?

A man hunched over at the waist. Hands clasped on his knees as a single light shines through his chiseled frame. A battle-worn face presents itself. But who, oh who, is this man?

 I Am Bo Jackson

Okay so apparently that’s Bo Jackson. That’s progress. We know his name, but do we really know him? What kind of person is this? What makes him tick? Who is Bo Jackson?

What Sports Does Bo Jackson Play?

Bo Jackson seems to be an athlete so we should figure out what sports he plays. We can eliminate hockey, tennis, and chess (slightly racist). That leaves basketball, baseball, football, and cricket. Let’s go to the tape.

Well it seems to be a football that he rubs in his armpit so that’s sport number one. Is that a cricket whacker or a baseball slapper? Indiscernible. We’ll go with Cricket.

Will He Let Me Borrow A Hat?

My head is cold and I would like a hat, but I don’t have one. Hey Bo Jackson do you have a hat I could borrow?

That’s very kind of you, Bo Jackson. Thanks!

What IS Bo Jackson?

I’m pretty sure he’s saying “I am a husband and I am a farmer”. What is he farming? Oats? Cows? Organs? Is Bo Jackson an organ farmer? Is he an organ farmer or an Oregon farmer?

Has Bo Jackson Been Successful In Life?

Clearly a fine collection of Bo’s farming trophies. He also seems to store his farming trophies (what is a farming trophy?) in a nice conference room with at least three swivel chairs. That’s success if I ever saw it.

Did Bo Jackson Just Soil Himself?

Bo. Did you wee wee?

Bo wee weed.