Jake’s home, and what better way to celebrate then watching one of the dumbest exercises in sports?
8:40 PM: Bill Simmons and company are discussing a graphic titled “NBA Lottery Power Rankings”. How does that even make sense…
8:41 PM: White guy walks to podium. He is the senior vice president of NBA security. What that has to do with anything…we have no idea. He could clearly pass as a first baseman/first base coach.
8:42 PM: Arby’s is successfully advertising a delicious unholy sandwich.
8:44 PM: DRAMATIC MONTAGE OF PING PONG BALLS. PERCENTAGES AND STUFF. MATH. HOT REPORTER INTRODUCING WHITE GUYS REPRESENTING EACH TEAM. There is a person named Lon Babby. Bobby Cox representing the Orlando Magic ??!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?! More percentages. “THE TIME HAS FINALLY COME”. Here comes Adam Silver. Jake says he looks like a malnourished Adrian Fenty”.
Other notes:
- Nerlens Noel’s mother looks like a porcupine.
- The Wizards are guaranteed a top 3 pick because why?
- They are at a commercial break. We are supposed to STAY TUNED.
- We don’t stay tuned.
Happy Wednesday.
CESPEDES FAMILY BARBECUE 
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