Before the season and before anyone really read our stuff, Jake and I did team-by-team previews for every team in baseball. They had very little analysis and a whole lot of #analysis. You can find them here. One of my favorite parts of these previews was Jake coming up with what we now refer to as CFB Names for every player in each projected starting lineup. I’ve got a few favorites from this absurd collection. These is my personal All-Star team solely based on these names. Warning: they’re REALLY stupid.
CATCHER: My Tweeters
FIRST BASE: Yawn Dora Lawn Zone
SECOND BASE: Triscuits
THIRD BASE: Mace Her It Hurts
SHORTSTOP: Ass Dribble Capybara
LEFT FIELD: Milky Cobra
CENTER FIELD: Allie Hand Row the Pasta
RIGHT FIELD: Enigma Cake Is
DESIGNATED HITTER: Evict Her Martini
STARTING PITCHER: K. Buttholes
STARTING PITCHER: On the Balls Hand Cheese
STARTING PITCHER: Rich Porn Seller
STARTING PITCHER: Medicine Butt Gardener
STARTING PITCHER: One Nietzsche Asshole
RELIEF PITCHER: Granite Barf Whore
RELIEF PITCHER: Rabbi L. Button Cord
CLOSER: Harold Is Champion