DISCLAIMER (mostly for our mothers): As many of you know, we are only 18 years old. So while everyone else can play this game with alcohol, we will OBVIOUSLY not be doing so. We’ll be enjoying our juice boxes. Thank you and drink responsibly. 

Tonight, the Oakland Athletics will be playing the Detroit Tigers in a game of baseball. The loser will be rewarded with a vacation while the winner will be punished and forced to fly to Boston. Here is your guide to making this game five one you’ll definitely forget:

You Drink When…

It goes without saying that you drink every time a #MUP is lit, but here are some other guidelines:

PREGAME SHOW

Drink any time…

• Pedro Martinez makes you smile
• Adam Jones winks
• TBS screws up a graphic
• There’s a replay of Josh Reddick vs. Fan

IN GAME

Drink when…

• Justin Verlander goes behind 3-0
• TOOTBLAN
• Yoenis Cespedes walks
• There’s an instance of BABIP Magic
• Alex Avila looks bored
• Jim Leyland has his hands in his pants
• Jim Leyland smokes a cig
• Miguel Cabrera looks like he’s in a lot of pain as he runs
• Miggy smiles at the pitcher
• The camera zooms in on Sonny Gray’s mustache
• You complain about how terrible the TBS broadcast is

IN THE BOOTH

Drink any time a broadcaster mentions…

• Yoenis Cespedes’ power
• Sonny Gray’s “poise”
• Cabrera’s ability to hit to all fields
• Billy Beane
• Just how hot the Red Sox are
• Momentum
• The fire in someone’s eyes

TWITTER

Drink any time someone…

• Tweets Lance Berkman’s face
• USES ALL CAPS
• Mentions robot umps
• Complains about bunting
• Gets into a Twitter war with Craig Calcaterra
• Mhakes a Jhonny Peralta jhoke
• Tweets a picture of Prince Fielder as a child

BONUS:

#LOGDOG (NOT RECOMMENDED)

Drink any time…

• Lana tweets.