Going into the off-season, we knew Yo had a decent chance of being moved. He’s a free agent after the 2015 season, and Boston was already loaded with young outfielders ready to play every day. Then, in a 48-hour span, the chance of Yo having a future in Boston was all but destroyed by the Red Sox signing a large panda and Apparent Left Fielder Hanley Ramirez. At that point, we knew Yo was toast. It was only a matter of time before Boston found a team to trade our hero to for a starting pitcher not named Yoenis Cespedes. Boston decided to move on. We totally understand.
This morning, the Boston Red Sox traded Yo to the Detroit Tigers for a Rich Porn Seller. I can’t imagine why the Red Sox would feel that this, salesman of sorts, will help their rotation…but that’s their prerogative. What matters now is that Yo is a Tiger, and we are excited as ever to see what kind of damage he can do in the same lineup as one of the best hitters in baseball, J.D. Martinez. We hope Tigers fans grow to love Yo as much as we do.
DISCLAIMER (mostly for our mothers): As many of you know, we are only 18 years old. So while everyone else can play this game with alcohol, we will OBVIOUSLY not be doing so. We’ll be enjoying our juice boxes. Thank you and drink responsibly.
Tonight, the Oakland Athletics will be playing the Detroit Tigers in a game of baseball. The loser will be rewarded with a vacation while the winner will be punished and forced to fly to Boston. Here is your guide to making this game five one you’ll definitely forget:
You Drink When…
It goes without saying that you drink every time a #MUP is lit, but here are some other guidelines:
Drink any time…
Pedro Martinez makes you smile
Adam Jones winks
TBS screws up a graphic
There’s a replay of Josh Reddick vs. Fan
Justin Verlander goes behind 3-0
Yoenis Cespedes walks
There’s an instance of BABIP Magic
Alex Avila looks bored
Jim Leyland has his hands in his pants
Jim Leyland smokes a cig
Miguel Cabrera looks like he’s in a lot of pain as he runs
Miggy smiles at the pitcher
The camera zooms in on Sonny Gray’s mustache
You complain about how terrible the TBS broadcast is
Several weeks ago, Ian Miller and Riley Breckenridge were talking about the upcoming Home Run Derby on their Prodcast. There was an off-hand comment about how they should have a Home Run Derpy tournament instead. So if we’re stealing the idea…we apologize deeply. But it was a difficult thing to pass up. This isn’t exactly a tournament, but it’s an appreciation of our eight participants in a slightly different manner. It’s a shame Jeff Karstens won’t be the one pitching to them next Monday night. Anyway, let’s get started.