Glen Perkins is not amused.

We all learned when we were younger than not everyone with the same last name is related. That would be crazy.

Or is it?

Today, we begin looking at some players with extremely fortunate last names and do our best to try and figure out if they’re related to certain other non-baseball things/people around this wonderful planet we call Earth. Let’s get to work.

DANIEL AND JENNIFER HUDSON

This is a tough one. Daniel is a 6″4 white baseball player from Virginia and Jennifer is a probably shorter strong independent black woman who almost won American Idol. If you look closely, you can see some similarities that may hint to some distantly connected roots, such as them both having eyes and noses. Other than that, not much here.

% CHANCE THEY’RE RELATED: 3%

ALICIA AND THE FREDERICK KEYS

It’s often difficult to trace the blood back from an entire Minor League Baseball organization, especially when you’re aiming for a billion time Grammy Award Winner that was born in 1981. I’m doubtful of this one.

% CHANCE THEY’RE RELATED: 8%

BUD AND CHUCK NORRIS

Bud is currently the highest paid player on the Houston Astros at a healthy 3 million bucks for the 2013 season. He’s probably gonna get traded but he’s still pretty awesome. But is he as awesome as CHUCK NORRIS ? I don’t know, at least probably not enough to be related. Chuck is a devout Christian, and Bud’s Cross necklace is rather prominent in that action shot of him. Did you know Chuck Norris’ real first name is Carlos ? You do now. Anyway, I’m skeptical.

% CHANCE THEY’RE RELATED: 12%