Players Who Took Steroids

There is a problem with baseball. It’s not the new CBA. It’s not the Angels bullpen, and it’s not even the fact that there is an alleged rapist pitching for the Tampa Bay Rays. No, the enormous problem with baseball right now is durgs. Here are some buzzwords you need to know about durgs.


  • Biogenesis is a group of scientists working together to uncover biological secrets from the bible.

Buzz Word: HGH

  • HGH obviously stands for Hugh Grant’s Head which can be found by clicking here. What this has to do with steroids eludes me.

Buzz Word: 50 Game Suspension

  • When rappers 50 Cent and The Game are kept in suspense by the rap community about their feud.

Those were some buzz words that hopefully made the steroid issue more clear. Now let’s take a look at some players who must have taken steroids. I will provide photo evidence. These players are scoundrels and cheats and must be removed from the sport. They are slimeballs and poopyheads as well.

Miguel Cabrera

Cabrera on the left is from 1999 and Cabrera on the right is from this year. Notice how much bigger Cabrera on the right looks. Taking into account his growth in face fat and add that to the ridiculous year he’s having, it’s pretty much obvious that Cabrera is using some sort of illegal durgs.

Clayton Kershaw

This is a confusing one because Kershaw on the left has a significant amount of face fat, but if you look closer you’ll be able to realize how much older Kershaw looks in the picture on the right. Like Cabrera, Kershaw is having another stellar year, which is even more evidence for steroids. Studies have shown that steroids can disorient and confuse which explains why Kershaw is wearing his glove on his head and not his hand. Definitely a user of steroidals.

Trevor Plouffe

Take a gander at how much bigger Plouffe looks in the second picture. He grew significantly since he was in the womb, which means steroids. Also his facial expression in the second picture is suspicious. I would give him 50 games for steroids, 25 games for lying, and 10 games for Plouffing.

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