>>> CLICK HERE FOR THE BRACKET <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR ROUND 1 RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR SWEET 16 RESULTS <<<

Round 2 of the BBQ Best Name Bracket concluded last night, as voters across the globe determined the 16 names they’d like to see duke it out for the title of Best Name in Baseball History. In turn, 16 tremendous names were sent home, forced to ponder what combination of letters or string of consonants could have given them a better chance in this remarkably tough field. We enter the Sweet 16 with only three #1 seeds, a Cinderella #14 seed, and perhaps most shockingly, zero dick jokes. Full results and analysis:

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REGION 1

1. Ten Million (74%) vs. 9. Bill Dingus (26%)

The Ten Million train had no issue with the scrappy #9 seed. He’ll face his first true competition in the Sweet 16.

12. Bud Weiser (42%) vs. 4. Cheese Goggans (58%)

America may have liked Budweiser enough to put the #12 seed through to Round 2, but he was no match for the man known as Cheese.

3. Van Lingle Mungo (72%) vs. 11. Dummy Hoy (28%)

The fan favorite Mungo had this one in the bag from within hours of the polls opening. He’s a true threat going forward.

7. Mysterious Walker (60%) vs. 2. Harry Colliflower (40%)

The mystery of Mysterious Walker continues, as the apparently drastically underrated #7 seed handily took down an early Final Four favorite in Harry Colliflower. If Walker can garner the same kind of support against Mungo in the Sweet 16, we might have to start taking him more seriously as a title contender.

REGION 2

1. Count Sensenderfer (67%) vs. 8. Homer Ball (33%)

America may like dingers, but America LOVES Count Sensenderfer.

5. Elmo Welp (33%) vs. 13. Dizzy Nutter (67%)

Nutter’s supporters continue to be more vocal than the average voter. We’ll see if they have what it takes to bring down The Count.

14. Clovis Butts (61%) vs. 6. Bad News Hall (39%)

The bracket’s undisputed Cinderella story, Butts appears to be in great shape going forward: voters who can no longer support either of the Dick jokes will most likely turn their focus to crowning a guy named “Butts” champion.

10. Dick Powers (49%) vs. 2. Shadrack McHooveter (51%)

Let’s be clear: the Dick jokes had a place in this bracket. Their supporters were adamant that they were under-seeded and under-appreciated. Ultimately, they had no chance against a name like Shadrack Mc-god damn-Hooveter. This one was way closer than it should have been.

REGION 3

1. Bris Lord (37%) vs. 9. Boots Poffenberger (63%)

We knew from the start Bris would be a risky #1 seed, with perhaps too small an audience to carry him to the later rounds of the tourney. As Mr. Lord exits at the hand of the formidable Boots, please take a moment to memorialize the marvelous mohel. Godspeed, Bris Lord. See you in shul.

5. Kaiser Wilhelm (45%) vs. 4. Ed Head (55%)

Much like World War I, Ed Head was simply too much for Wilhelm to overcome.

3. Pretzels Getzien (52%) vs. 11. Dick Oder (48%)

Pretzels prevails. As damn well he should.

10. Dip Orange (38%) vs. 2. The Only Nolan (62%)

Still the only Nolan in this bracket, The Only Nolan had no trouble defeating Dr. Dip.

REGION 4

1. Orlando Zgraggen (69%) vs. 9. Astyanax Douglass (31%)

A tough match-up for Astyanax, who many thought to be the strongest #9 seed in the tourney. Zgraggen moves on with ease.

5. Yank Deas (60%) vs. 13. Alamazoo Jennings (40%)

The literally one-time catcher Jennings kept it close with the fan favorite, but Deas Nutz pulled away in the last 12 hours of voting. Many are picking Yank to upset Zgraggen in the Sweet 16.

3. Agamemnon Baca (43%) vs. 11. Lil Stoner (57%)

An unfortunate exit for our Greek friend, who becomes the second #3 seed to be eliminated in the early stages. Stoner survives.

10. Shagowash Graves (40%) vs. 2. Squiz Pillion (60%)

Subtly lurking at the bottom of the bracket, Squiz’s legitimacy as a contender will really be tested in the Sweet 16.

>>> CLICK HERE FOR THE BRACKET <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR ROUND 1 RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR SWEET 16 RESULTS <<<

The official sponsor of the Best Name Bracket is baseball-reference.com! Right now, you can head over to http://www.baseball-reference.com/play-index/bbq.shtml and use the coupon code “bbq” to get $6 off a one-year subscription to the Play Index, an invaluable tool for answering all your ridiculously specific statistical queries about baseball history.