This is how all umpires should call third strikes.
TREVOR AND JACK BAUER
These are two crafty individuals that not many people fully understand. While Jack Bauer has saved the entire nation on multiple occasions, Trevor has yet to record a save in his entire career in pro ball. This clearly works against this attempt at relation, but I still have hope. They both spend a lot of time with people pointing guns at them and they both enjoy long walks on the beach and cold pizza. Jack is much more in control when the going gets tough, while Trevor can panic in a hurry.
% CHANCE THEY’RE RELATED: 31%
JASON AND THE CHESAPEAKE BAY
Neither can hit a baseball, but while one economically crippled an entire baseball team the other is the centerpiece of an entire state’s economy. Much like the Chesapeake, Jason’s FanGraphs page of late is full of absolute garbage. While the Chesapeake’s career as a body of water has remained the same for over 400 years, Jason has struggled to maintain production for longer than four or five. There are obvious similarities, but it’s not for sure.
% CHANCE THEY’RE RELATED: 53%
MICHAEL AND JASON BOURN(E)
“But it’s not even spelled the same!”, you might protest. These are two absurdly fast individuals who excel at stealing things without getting caught. Sure, Jason has to deal with the entire European police force on a daily basis, but don’t act like Michael stealing on Yadier Molina isn’t just as dangerous. One might also point out that Jason Bourne isn’t even his real name oh wait did I just spoil the entire series for you whooooooooooooooops
% CHANCE THEY’RE RELATED: 82%