To whomever reads this,

We here at the BBQ started this baseball season with approximately 17 twitter followers. Four of those people were close friends and one was my mother. So we basically had 12 followers, 9 of which HAD to be Twitter bots. We were averaging 10 page views a day.

This baseball season has been the most fun we’ve ever had in regards to baseball. Being able to participate in nincompoopery with all of you was an experience we’ll never forget. Logging on to Twitter every morning and seeing the absurd things that happened the night before was always hilarious. From our Third World Baseball Classic piece, to our takedown of the Microsoft Scouting ad, to that time we put beards on all the St. Louis Cardinals, this season was always da besssssssssssss. And we’ll never forget Shirtless Chris Davis.

The number one person we’d like to thank is our dad, Jason Parks. When we handed Jason our “business card” at the DC Baseball Prospectus event, we didn’t expect to have almost 4,000 followers a couple months later. Without the Professor, we’d still just be two idiots with keyboards, but thanks to him we have the ability to engage in conversation with more people than we ever thought possible. Thanks dad.

We know we aren’t doing anything for world peace, the global economy, or anything remotely important, but we like to think that by making one person laugh we’ve accomplished something important. The best e-mail we ever got had just one line and read “thank you for making me laugh everyday.” It means a lot to us that even one person finds what we have to say entertaining. Everything you read here or on Twitter stems from conversations we’d have anyway; we didn’t do anything different, we just wrote stuff down. As long as you keep following along we’ll keep doing our best to put a smile on your face. So THANK YOU THE FANS. If you’ve ever clicked on anything we’ve ever posted, thank you. We don’t know why you clicked on it (it easily could have been a virus), but we appreciate that you did.


Too Close To Sappelt

The season ended last night, but we can say with certainty that we aren’t going anywhere. Just because the season is over doesn’t mean we are going to stop tweeting pictures of Lance Berkman’s face. We’re also pretty sure no major league team is coming to hire us any time soon. We have an endless list of idiotic ideas to bring to life this off-season. In fact, we’ll probably have more time to spend on our ridiculousness because we won’t have to stay up until 1:30 AM watching the Mariners lose in extra innings every night. Stay tuned this off-season for some entertaining and insanely childish stuff.

MOST IMPORTANTLY, a huge thanks to Yoenis Cespedes; the greatest man to walk ever on this earth. Your core strength has provided the world joy, meaning, and substance and for that we are forever grateful. May next season be filled with dingers and dongers and boners of your liking.


Jake and Jordan


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